Living A Lie
by 17child-of-the-moon17
Summary: Sakura has a mission: stage her defection from Konoha, attract Akatsuki's attention, and infiltrate the elusive organization. She expected it to be hard, maybe even deadly. She never bargained for this, though. SakuraxAkatsuki Mostly crack!fic. :
1. Mission

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters within the series. That magnificent privilege goes to the amazing Kishimoto-sensei._**

"Sakura," my sensei and Hokage, Tsunade, said abruptly. She was sitting behind her desk, staring at some papers (probably dealing with missions and salaries), when she called my name. I had been standing in front of her desk, hands clasped in front of me, waiting for her to notice me. I had just returned from the hospital and had a few reports to give her. While I had been waiting, I will admit that I was sort of daydreaming. So I jumped when she called my name.

"H-hai, Shishou?" I mentally berated myself for daydreaming.

"I have a mission for you," she said slowly, as if I would run away if she said it too hastily. "But, you may decline if you don't think you can handle it. I won't judge you if you do; it's an extremely risky mission."

That sparked my curiosity. What sort of missions would I not be able to handle? I've been trained by the Godaime herself, a legendary Sannin for pity's sake! 'Well,' I reasoned inwardly, 'it won't hurt to find out what it is first.' I remained quiet, hoping Tsunade-sama would take the hint to continue.

She did. "I suppose this one would be classified as an S-rank mission." She paused there, waiting for hesitation on my part, I would suppose. I kept my features clean of anything but interest in the hypothetical mission. She continued, "This mission will be an extremely dangerous espionage assignment, one that will last much longer than most other missions."

I blinked, but otherwise made sure I didn't betray any hesitation. My inner self shouted, 'We get it! It's dangerous and long! TELL US MORE!!' I, myself, said nothing.

Tsunade-sama closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair, folding her hands in her lap.

After a few seconds, she looked up at me to gauge my reaction to what she had to say next. "Information has been acquired recently that the Akatsuki are looking for a medic nin. Numerous medic nin of various abilities have been kidnapped all throughout our neighboring countries, and lately we've noticed that the kidnappings are getting closer and closer to our country. This," she held up one of the papers on her desk, "is a report that I just received only a few hours ago. The most recent kidnapping has been just inside the border of Fire Country. It also states that the bodies of the previously captured shinobi had been found not far from each of the new kidnapping sites, which means that the earlier shinobi that were taken weren't good enough and were disposed of."

'That's not good,' I thought to myself. I frowned before I could stop myself.

"That is part of the reason why this is an extremely dangerous mission, Sakura, which is why I'm giving you a choice on whether or not to accept it. Should you choose to accept this assignment, you will train with me everyday for two weeks, not work at the hospital or go on other missions, and you will train with Ibiki for espionage. Should you choose not to accept it, you may continue doing what you have been doing, with the exception of being extremely careful if you ever run into the Akatsuki. I don't want you being taken if it's not part of the plan. As it is, you are an extremely capable medical ninja, and your strength is formidable. I haveno doubt that you can successfully complete this mission. I will give you two days to decide." With that, she turned away from me to look out the window.

I took the hint and left her office to head home. I had some serious thinking to do.

**_What'd you think? Was it good? Drop some reviews, and I'll try my hardest to update faster. I've already finished a number of chapters, so I'll put those up ASAP, but if you have any ideas past those, I would appreciate some comments. ;)_**

**_Thanks, and, as always, much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon/17-child-of-the-moon17 (henceforth known as the former name only! lulz)_**

**_XO_**


	2. The Great Escape

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters within the series. That magnificent privilege goes to the amazing Kishimoto-sensei._**

Two days later, I was called back to Tsunade-sama's office.

I gave her my decision. "I will accept the mission." My reason: to help Naruto and the village. Whatever information I gather at the Akatsuki would most likely prove extremely valuable to the ongoing efforts of bringing down the lethal organization. I was nervous about it, but I was also extremely excited. If I were to be careful, I would come back whenever Tsunade-sama decided with the experience of living as a spy with the most notorious missing nins of our time. Even thinking about it gave me quite the adrenaline rush.

Tsunade-shishou nodded gravely. "I had a feeling you would be brave enough to do this. Shizune!" she called.

The shorter girl ran in and gave a quick bow, "Hai, Tsunade-sama?" TonTon oinked seemingly at Tsunade.

"Go fetch Shikamaru."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama!"

* * *

That day, it had been planned that I would be safer among the Akatsuki as a missing nin, and in order to make that convincing, I would need to do something believable and separate from the village. I would need to take on missions from villains and nobles alike in order to make a name for myself. Plus, I would have to run and hide from the ANBU.

Inner was beginning to regret our decision.

Honestly, so was I. But, I put on a brave front and went along with it. There was still a chance to turn back, but I wasn't really all that keen on taking it. Somehow, I decided I didn't like the way 'coward' sounded when it was in reference to me.

* * *

My training went relatively smoothly. By the time Tsunade-shishou was done with me, I was fairly certain I was the one of the strongest and most skilled med nins around. When I was finished with my two-week's worth of espionage training, I was quite confident that I was now very good at lying and sneaking around and keeping things to myself. I even learned a jutsu that could block off certain areas of the mind to prevent people (namely interrogators) from poking around where I didn't want them to, plus it was so subtle, it would be like camouflaging those certain parts so it was like they were never even there to begin with. Of course, I could only use it sparingly, because if too much was missing, it would be suspicious. Ibiki-san said it could become very useful

Speaking of learning new jutsus; Tsunade-shishou taught me how to send messages without needing a pen and paper. This jutsu was a wind-based one that carried verbal messages to the intended receiving person, which meant that I didn't have to worry about hiding messages in specific locations to hope that they were found soon by the person who was supposed to get it. I perfected this simple jutsu within a week.

While I was busy training, Shikamaru, being the genius that he is, spent a good chunk of his two weeks figuring out all the details of my super defection.

* * *

I got home early on the last day of my training and took a nap. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to sleep well, but I managed. I set my alarm clock for 10:30 (at night). That would give me a half-hour to get everything that I needed ready, plus grab a quick bite to eat, because God only knew when I would eat next.

I had a dreamless sleep, which, in hindsight, was probably the best one I had ever had. I woke up revived and feeling refreshed; I was ready to start the biggest lie of my life.

I snatched up my khaki back-pack and stuffed in a few changes of clothes (enough to last a week) in my basic style: a red shirt/tank top, pink skirt with open sides for moving comfortably and without restriction, and black spandex shorts. I also packed in an all black outfit, just in case. I pulled on my black fingerless gloves, brushed my hair, and pulled on my sandals. I shoved in as many kunai and shuriken I thought would be necessary as extras, and then opened my medical kit and stuffed a quite a few rolls of bandages, a few surgeon's tools, some antiseptic ointment, and some hand sanitizer. I hate feeling dirty, so I always have some hand sanitizer on my person. I'd definitely like to avoid getting sick, thank you very much. Being out on the road, in the rain, with a head cold didn't sound very appealing.

My next task was probably one of the hardest for me. I was born and raised in Konoha, and here I was, kunai in one hand, hitai-ate in the other, about to show the world that I no longer held any ties to the place of my birth. I bit my lip and sat down on my bed, resting my headband and kunai on my legs.

'Go ahead! You can do it!' Inner prodded. 'Shut up,' I mentally replied.

I took the kunai and slowly cut a line through the middle of the leaf symbol.

"I'll get a new one when I come back," I reassured myself. Inner helpfully added, 'If we come back.' 'Shut. Up.'

I grabbed my bag and opened my bedroom door to go out to the kitchen and stock up on some food. My apartment was small, but it was comfortable. I finished stuffing granola bars and other small food items into the various side pockets of my bag and turned around to survey the rest of the apartment. I was going to miss the mismatched furniture and out-of-date rugs.

I tore my gaze away from the apartment and calmly walked out the front door, locking my life as I knew it behind me.

* * *

"Sakura-chan!" a blonde problem shouted at me.

I cursed under my breath. Just what I needed; the very person I was doing this whole mission for was going to be the first person I would have to hurt, be it physically or emotionally (most likely both, knowing Naruto). No one but Tsunade-shishou, Shikamaru, and Ibiki are to know the real mission. Everyone else, including all of my friends, must be led to believe that I am actually a traitorous scumbag. Lovely.

"Sakura-chan? Where are you going? Why do you have that backpack? It looks stuffed. Are you on a mission?" he shot off question after question, much to my dismay.

I took a deep breath, steeled myself, and gave my best, albeit rather annoying, friend the coldest glare I have ever given anyone in my entire life.

Naruto blanched. "S-Sakura-chan? What's with the glare?"

I suddenly realized that glaring would be the worst that I could do to him at that time; I couldn't hurt him, I wasn't read for that yet. I quickly performed a teleportation jutsu, and reappeared outside the scroll room in the Hokage Tower. I gathered chakra to my right fist and broke through the heavy wooden door in one punch. It was at this point that it really sunk in that I was supposed to be a missing nin (or becoming a missing nin), and that I needed to hurry before the ANBU caught on to what I was attempting to do (which was steal a very important scroll). I didn't even care which scroll it was, since I knew that Tsunade-shishou had told me where to bring it and to whom, so that it would be returned to her inconspicuously and quickly.

As it turns out, I snatched a scroll that had a number of forbidden jutsus in it, and I was to bring it to Shikamaru a few towns over. Shikamaru would be disguised as some criminal and pay me a large enough sum of money (thank you, Tsunade-shishou) to help me get by until I was noticed by the Akatsuki (hopefully).

Now that I had the scroll, I tucked it under my arm and took off through the broken door. I had to get noticed by as many unsuspecting shinobi as was safely possible so that they could spread the news of my new status as a traitor.

The first person I passed as I sped by was Shikamaru, who turned to Choji and pointed with a surprised look on his face in my direction. The next person was Ino, and I instantly felt horrible when I saw the shocked and hurt expression on her face. The next one was some jounin that I didn't even know, who turned to rush off in the direction of the Hokage tower. Thankfully, I didn't pass by any ANBU, but I knew I didn't have time to wait for them to show. I kept running and allowing people to see me until I got to the main gate. When I arrived at the gate, I didn't even turn to see if there were any shinobi waiting for me; I just kept running as fast as possible, aiding my flight with chakra.

I ran like that for hours. It was painful, but I knew that if I stopped, I would be found quickly. I didn't feel any chakra signatures around me or behind me, but any followers could be masking their chakra.

I kept running.

* * *

The next day, I was in Tanzaku Town, "selling" the scroll to not-Shikamaru. He handed me a number of bills and a piece of folded paper, and said, "Thanks for you business," in a deeper and rougher voice than he already had. He had used a jutsu to change his appearance. I wouldn't have recognized him if it weren't for his ear piercings and the way he slouched.

I nodded and used a teleportation jutsu to transport myself outside of the town, where I ran until I was closer to the border of Fire Country. There were smaller towns along the border, and I figured I would be safest staying in those towns than in a place like Tanzaku. Also, it was closer to the border that the kidnappings were last heard of. This lessened my chances of getting caught (by ANBU), and heightened my chances of getting captured (by Akatsuki).

It was near midnight when I finally made it to a small town to rest for the night. I decided to stay just outside the town, in case word of my defection had reached this far already. Nothing runs faster than gossip, you know, or so my mom had said.

I settled up in the branches of a tree to rest until dawn. I pulled out a couple of granola bars and wolfed those down. Suddenly remembering the note that not-Shikamaru had handed me with the money, I pulled out my earnings and opened up the folded piece of parchment.

_Sakura_

_Be careful_

_Don't stay in Tanzaku or the neighboring towns_

_Stay closer to the border_

_Don't get yourself killed_

_~Tsunade_

I smiled at the note. "No problem, Shishou," I muttered. Then I performed a quick fire jutsu to burn the paper, removing evidence that I was not actually a missing nin.

I slept until dawn, at which point I ran north to set off to find myself some work. I figured if I stayed closer to the border near Rain Country, I would be able to quickly escape the reach of Fire Country's ANBU, should the need arise. So, I headed toward Border Town and its neighboring villages, in search of some work.

**_Sooo.... How was it? I know, I already said that I would be updating the chapters that I have written so far, but I still wanna know how you liked this chapter! Haha. Anyhoo, please comment at some point, because I really love hearing what everyone has to say. Even the flames don't really bother me that much, so... FLAME ON!! (XD)_**

**_Anyways, thanks for reading! I'll put up the next chapter right away!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	3. Confrontation

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters within the series. That magnificent privilege goes to the amazing Kishimoto-sensei._**

Within the next three weeks, I was in between towns near the border of Rain and Fire, stealing for high-ranking criminals (including a Daimyo) and even doing an assassination once.

It was after one of the lower-level stealing missions that I felt a couple of chakra signatures that I didn't recognize. I was walking back to the small village where I was staying at the time, sticking to the shadows cast by the large trees at the side of the path.

I stopped walking and reached into my kunai holster, quickly poking two of my fingers through the loops at the base of a couple kunai. On the path up ahead of me, I noticed two dark figures walking slowly down the road towards my current location. From what I could see (the setting sun was behind them, so their fronts were cast in shadow) they were wearing dark robes and what looked like bamboo hats.

My stomach did this weird flutter at the sight of these two unknown ninja. I figured it was a combination of nerves and anticipation. IF these two people were members of the Akatsuki, then I'd have to be extra careful; this encounter could kill me.

Steeling myself, I stuck to the shadows, waiting to see if those cloaks they were wearing bore red clouds outlined in white. I masked my chakra, but not all the way, just in case they were interested in finding a medic nin.

It seemed like hours before I could properly see the two shinobi. From where I was standing, they both seemed to have the wide-set shoulders attributed to those of the male species (yes, men are of a totally different species than women; they're more closely related to pigs, from what I've gathered in my experiences), and one noticeably taller than the other. The one closer to my side of the road was the shorter one, though I had a feeling he was still much taller than I was. They both wore the red and black cloaks attributed to the Akatsuki.

The shorter one stopped, and the taller one did the same. I had previously jumped up into the limbs of a large oak, and so I thought that I was completely concealed. Turns out that I forgot about my chakra when I had jumped, because at that point, I am ashamed to admit it, I chickened out. I decided I didn't exactly want to be found by the Akatsuki; I wasn't ready yet. I was scared.

My heart skipped a beat when the shorter one turned toward my tree. It was then that I realized that my chakra was still not completely masked. I cussed under my breath; it wasn't like I could mask it then and there because it was obvious he had already found my location.

My heart was thudding rapidly behind my ribcage, anticipation and fear making my hands tremble.

"You can come out, there's no sense in hiding any longer," called the shorter shinobi in a deep voice. He sounded friendly enough, but the Akatsuki wasn't known for being full of friendly S-class pansies.

Giving up, I steeled myself and jumped out of the tree, landing just inside the reach of the shadows. I tried to give myself plenty of distance from the two Akatsuki. I schooled my expression into a flat, passive mask. Any emotion, namely fear, would give myself away. I needed to look tough and confident (as tough as a pink-haired teenager can look, anyways).

The taller of the two walked up to the shorter one's side; both took off their bamboo hats.

I was shocked to find that standing before me was none other than Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame. I mentally cussed. Inner was a bit more expressive, shouting swear after swear after swear. I showed no recognition of the two.

I already knew Itachi (well, sort of); he was my childhood crush's older brother. I can say with a clear conscience that I now hold no romantic interest for Sasuke, and I embarrass myself with the memories of when I would pine relentlessly for the lost cause that is the younger Uchiha boy.

Kisame I had only heard about a few times. He had fought Asuma a while back, and Asuma reported that the large sword that Kisame held (I think it was called Samehada? I read it in the report somewhere…) sucked out the victim's chakra and was very dangerous not only because of that, but also because of the shark skin that covered the blade.

'Well,' I thought. 'This bites. It had to be them…'

"This is interesting," Itachi stated. Kisame turned to him and asked why.

Itachi looked at me, his Sharingan already activated. I looked at his feet. "This girl is one of Sasuke's friends."

"Was," I corrected automatically, not meaning to say it aloud.

"What?" Kisame asked.

I looked up at him, very pointedly ignoring Itachi's eyes, and repeated what I had said. "I said he 'was'. He left a long time ago. I wouldn't say we're still friends."

"My apologies," Itachi said, though I wasn't entirely sure he meant it. He looked at my hitai-ate. "It looks like you've left the village," he stated.

I continued to focus on objects less red and menacing than his eyes. "I did," I replied, being careful not to display any emotion.

"Hey, you think this one will be easier to convince than the others, Itachi-san?" Kisame asked in an undertone. Just for that, I decided I would definitely make it harder for them. I know, I was being impulsive, but seriously! Just because I'm a girl and Itachi seemed to know me didn't mean that I would be a pushover!

Feigning ignorance, I asked, "Why would you be convincing me in the first place, Shark-face?" Oops… maybe I went a little far on that one…

"What did you just call me, Pinky?" he asked, glaring menacingly and smirking enough to give me a rather frightening view of his sharp teeth.

I hid my nervousness. This would be my chance to prove that I was strong enough to join the Akatsuki. "Are you deaf as well as butt-ugly? I called you Shark-face."

He reached for his massive sword, slowly bringing the huge thing out in front of him, giving me a chance to back out at the sight of it. "You and I both know that I'm really attractive. And my hearing's just fine, Forehead-girl."

I stopped breathing. I glared the most menacing glare I could come up with. "What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me." I bit out each word like I was carefully spewing poison at the blue guy. I crouched into a fighting stance. Itachi noticeably took a step away from the two of us, but I ignored him. Kisame was going to be in a world of pain when I was done with him.

The annoying fish-faced fool laughed and crouched just like I had, pulling some of the wrappings off of his sword.

I put away my kunai and took off my backpack, setting it by a nearby tree. "You'd better be able to move that sword around pretty damn fast," I warned.

He laughed again. "I don't think my speed will be a problem, _kunoichi_."

"Are you trying to come off as a chauvinist jerk? Because that's what it sounds like," I stated as calmly as I could.

"Maybe." His grin widened, which I didn't really think was possible.

We started with a stare-off, waiting for the other to make the first move. Thankfully, I'm really patient (most of the time), so that part wasn't so bad. I was planning my first move after about two minutes when he charged, obviously fed up with waiting.

I waited until the last possible second, watching the victorious look on his face as his Samehada came flashing towards me with impossible speed, to perform a substitution jutsu and I came up behind him. I decided I would be a major show-off and not use any weapons, save for my fists and feet, so I gathered my chakra to my right fist and slammed it down into the ground. A large crevice yawned open in the earth, and Kisame barely had a chance to jump out of the way by the time he realized I wasn't what his sword had hit. He jumped clear of the crack, and spun around to face me.

"Someone's got issues," he stated with a wide grin. I grinned back. To any outsider, this exchange would probably have looked like some good-natured (albeit psychotic) sparring between good friends. Let me just say, it wasn't. I was ready to beat the crap out of this oversized fish-boy. And I'm sure he was trying to injure me as well.

There was no more time for conversation, because the next thing I knew, Kisame was charging me again. I kept dodging his ginormic sword, trying to keep as much space between myself and the chakra-sucking sharkskin. The whole time, he was grinning like a fool.

At one point, the very tip of Samehada barely grazed my upper arm, which was bare, leaving a huge gash and drained quite a bit of my chakra in a split-second. Grimacing, I shot out of easy reach of the sword and brought my healing chakra to my left hand to heal my wound. It took only a few seconds, but as soon as I was done, I had to dodge another bone-crushing blow from that brute of a blade.

It was at this time that Kisame shouted to Itachi, "You were right! She's definitely a medic, Itachi-san!"

Itachi called back, "Knock her out, we'll take her with us."

Kisame turned his attention back to me, a hard glint in his beady eyes. "Stay still, Pinky. I'll try to be gentle," he told me.

"In your dreams, Sharkie!" I taunted. I leaped away, bringing a blade of my medical chakra to my fists. I wasn't going to hurt him too badly, but I didn't think about my plans past that point. Looking back on it now, I probably should've thought ahead. It would've been nicer if Kisame _had_ knocked me out then and there. Instead, being the impulsive creature that I am, I charged him head on, ducking underneath the sword when he swung it at me, and touched my hands to his arms, blocking the nerves with my chakra so he wouldn't be able to move them.

I jumped away while Kisame dropped his massive sword, arms hanging limp at his sides. He had this ridiculously incredulous look on his face, and I could tell that he was straining to move his arms by the way his muscles bulged on his neck (from what little I could see of it, that is. Those cloaks have really high collars…). I laughed and walked up to him.

"What were you saying just a moment ago? _You_ would knock _me_ out?" I reached up with my fingers, chakra still running through them, bringing them to his forehead, stopping just an inch or two away. I had to stand on the tips of my toes in order to reach his face with my hands. I felt really small then. "I'm not sure I _want_ to be gentle, Fish-boy," I muttered to him.

A look of surprise and worry flashed across his face. Then he grinned maniacally. "Bring it on, Forehead-girl," he taunted.

I was originally going to be nice and just knock the jerk out; but when he said that, I decided he would be wishing that I had knocked him out. I smiled and said, "Have it your way, then."

I closed the distance between my fingertips and his head, shoving my chakra through his skull to give him the worst headache he would probably ever have in his entire life. Personally, I hate headaches, and I originally would've said that I wouldn't wish a killer one on my worst enemy. Times change, I guess.

Kisame fell to his knees, barely staying upright as he groaned in pain. "What the _hell_?!" he shouted at me, teeth clenched in agony.

"Hey," I replied, "you asked for it, Sharkie." I started to feel bad about his arms, seeing that he wanted to bring his hands to cradle his throbbing head, so I knelt down to help the nerve problem with his left arm, jumping out of the way as soon as it was finished. He whipped it up to his temple and leaned forward in anguish.

Unfortunately, I had totally forgotten that Kisame and I weren't the only ones in the road.

"Sakura," I heard a voice call my name from directly behind me. I whipped around, kunai in hand, only to come face to face (well, more like face to chest, but that doesn't matter) with Itachi. I noticed too late that his Sharingan was activated still. I had looked him in the eyes, and that was all he needed to make me pass out.

**_This one was one of my favorite chapters. It's one of the only ones that really stays in character (sort of, heheh) for most of the chapter. Beware! It all goes downhill from here! YEAH OOC! JK, it does get OOC a bit, but I still like it, and my sorta-beta loves it. :)_**

**_REVIEW!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	4. Exploration and a Fetish

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters within the series. That magnificent privilege goes to the amazing Kishimoto-sensei._**

I woke up to a horrible headache and the feeling that I was resting (rather uncomfortably) on something hard and moving. Without moving or giving any hint that I was awake, I let my mind drift to my limbs, finding that they were tied at the wrists and ankles. I realized my arms were hanging out in front of me, and my legs were on the other side of whatever I was folded over. My head was throbbing something awful, and I couldn't hold back a groan when whatever I was resting on shifted rather suddenly.

"Is she awake?" I heard someone ask. They sounded familiar…

"I can't tell. The only thing I'm worried about is my head. I still can't move my arm…" said the thing that I was currently folded over. I finally realized where I was, and with whom. I cussed under my breath, opening my eyes. I found that what I was currently draped over was Kisame's left shoulder, facing behind him. It was much darker than when I had been knocked out. I looked over to my left to find his sword hanging on his back and his right arm hanging limply by his side. Itachi was a few feet ahead and to the right of Kisame, looking back at us with a blank expression.

"Since she's awake, she can heal you now," Itachi stated blandly.

I grumbled, "I don't think I want to."

Kisame must've heard me, because he growled at me, "You'd better, or you'll just end up like the rest of 'em."

I groaned. "You're so _pushy_."

A little while later, we stopped and headed off the road and into a dark clump of trees. Kisame set me down, roughly, on the ground and kneeled in front of me, glaring. Itachi stood next to him, staring down at me with his Sharingan activated.

I pulled a blank; I had no idea what they wanted. "What?" I asked rather stupidly.

Kisame rolled his eyes. "Are you gonna get rid of my blasted headache, or what?"

I stared at him. "Why should I?"

Itachi answered for him. "I'm sure you wouldn't enjoy being subjected to the Mangekyou Sharingan, would you?"

I shivered. Kakashi-sensei had witnessed the power of Itachi's Mangekyou firsthand. He was in the hospital for days afterwards. I was pretty sure I wouldn't like that form of torture, so…

"Fine! You both are so pushy! Untie me so I can heal you," I told Kisame.

He shook his head, grinning. "You can heal just fine without me untying your hands. Deal with it."

"Deal with it? How would you like it if I told you to deal with your headache and your numb arm?" I asked, outraged.

"I don't have to worry about dealing with it, because you'll just end up dead if you don't do it anyways," he retorted.

I sat there, fuming, for a good forty seconds.

"Hurry up. Leader expects us back soon," Itachi ordered.

"Fine…" I muttered. I brought my tied-up hands to Kisame's forehead and closed my eyes, concentrating on healing his headache.

He sighed when the aching pressure was released, and then said, "Now my arm, if you don't mind."

"I _do_ mind…" I grumbled. He shifted so his right side was closer to me, making it easier for me to reach his arm. I had the nerves unblocked in a matter of seconds.

I sighed grumpily. Suddenly, Kisame jumped up and picked me up from my spot on the ground, flinging me back onto his shoulder. I landed with an 'oof!', to which Kisame laughed. The next thing I knew, both Kisame and Itachi had taken off through the trees, jumping from branch to branch with a speed only skilled shinobi could muster.

After about an hour of my rough treatment, Itachi and Kisame shot out of the cover of the trees and landed in a small clearing. Kisame set me down (much gentler this time, to which I was thankful) in front of a large rock, leaving my hands and feet bound. "We'll rest here tonight," he stated, taking Samehada off his back and setting the massive sword on the ground next to me. He sat down and leaned back against the rock, resting his head on his joined hands. Itachi took the other side of me and sat cross-legged, staring into the depths of the forest in front of us with his Sharingan off.

It wasn't too long after that that I felt my stomach start to gurgle at the lack of sustenance within it. I tried to ignore it as best I could. I surreptitiously snuck a glance at the men on either side of me, making sure that they hadn't heard my obnoxious stomach. I returned my gaze to my bound hands just before a loud 'grrrr' erupted from my torso. I blushed, totally embarrassed, because I knew that no one within a five-foot radius would escape that sound.

Kisame snorted, and tried covering it with a cough. I peeked out of the corner of my eye at Itachi, and _thought_ I saw him smirk a little. Deciding I needed to explain myself to the currently amused shinobi on either side of me, I said, "I'm hungry."

"We noticed," Shark-face said with a huge grin. "Too bad for you, though."

"Why?" I asked incredulously. Surely they'd have some sort of food with them, wouldn't they?

"Neither of us feels like getting you something to eat," he explained.

I glared. "What you mean is you're too _lazy_ and _incompetent_ to get me something to eat, am I right?" I asked venomously.

"We're perfectly capable of getting something to eat, we just don't need to eat anything right now, and we don't want to get _you_ something just yet. So, deal," he answered with a large smirk.

While I was stewing for the next couple of minutes, an idea popped into existence. "Did either of you, by any chance, manage to grab my backpack?"

Kisame, obviously seeing a chance to enrage me further (the jerk), started to say 'no', when Itachi reached over to his right and revealed my khaki bag. "This?" he asked.

"Yeah, I still have some granola bars in there…" I trailed off at the sound of my stomach gurgling again. I put on a vulnerably needy face, "_Please_? Just one? I'll share…" I whined.

Rolling his eyes, Itachi reached into my bag and fished around for one of the plastic-wrapped granola bars. He pulled out three, handing one to Kisame, one to me, and opening his own. We ate in a semi-companionable silence. Even though just one granola bar wasn't enough for any of us (especially me), I refrained from pushing my luck and asking for more. "Thanks," I said to Itachi once I finished mine.

He nodded. "You should sleep now. We're leaving early tomorrow."

* * *

I woke to find myself being carried in someone's arms. Suddenly confused and alert, I snuck a glance at my surroundings without moving a muscle and found that I was being carried around by Kisame. Thankfully, I wasn't tossed over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes this time. Deciding I wasn't in any danger (or at least not any _immediate_ danger), I went back to sleep, feeling warm and somewhat safe for the first time since I had set out on my mission.

I woke up much later to find myself in a warm bed. I searched from my position for any chakra signatures nearby, and found about four (two of which I didn't recognize). I sat up and surveyed my surroundings.

I was currently lying on a small bed with sheets of dark blues and grays, which was in a room of similar colors. There was a small wooden bureau across the room, which sat next to a small, open and empty closet. Next to the bed was a small desk with an average lamp sitting on the side closest to me.

I cautiously lifted the blankets off of myself and swung my legs to the side of the small bed. I hissed at the feeling of the cold wood floor under my bare feet, which reminded me of my shoes and other belongings. I found my shoes easily enough; they were placed over by the door on a small, dark-blue rug. I got up and ignored the cold floor, searching for my khaki backpack. I found it lying on the floor at the foot of the bed. Smiling in relief, I grabbed the bag and sat back down on the bed with my legs crossed. Reaching inside, I found the last of the granola bars, which I hungrily wolfed down. I looked around for a trashcan, finding one conveniently located on the other side of my small desk. I balled up the plastic wrapper and tossed it into the can from my seat on the bed.

I noticed then that there was no window in my room, which left me feeling uneasy and trapped. Frowning, I got up and headed toward the door. I smoothed out my outfit and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to make myself somewhat presentable. I warily took hold of the door knob, half-expecting someone or something to attack me as soon as I opened the heavy wooden door. I twisted the knob and pulled the door open slowly… and nothing happened. No barrage of sharp metal objects flying towards me; no creepy missing-nin attacking me; nothing out of the ordinary.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I stepped out over the threshold, turned to my right, and made my way toward the chakra signatures that I recognized. It wasn't long until I found Kisame and Itachi sitting at a large dining room table. They both looked up at my approach, Itachi wearing his blank mask and Kisame wearing his shark-like grin.

"She's alive," Kisame teased, smirking at me.

I gave a small smile in return and sat down across from the two of them. "So…" I frowned.

"So?" Kisame asked, signature smirk fading temporarily at my serious expression.

"Why am I allowed to wander around this… place… without any supervision? I mean, I could attack any one of you at any time without warning, you know…" I asked, voicing the question that had been nagging me the moment I walked out of my bedroom door.

Kisame's grin returned full-force. "Like anyone in their right mind would attack over eight S-class criminals without knowing where they are and how strong their opponents are. Seriously, Pinky."

His statement made sense, but it did rile me a little. Obviously he had forgotten how strong I was. "I could easily bring this building to the ground, you know," I stated.

"It would be smarter of you to refrain from doing such things," Itachi replied, "unless you don't mind having at least six of the world's strongest shinobi on your tail."

He had a point.

"Whatever…" I said intelligently.

I noticed Itachi and Kisame exchange a purposeful look before I heard someone screaming in pain.

I jumped up, alarmed. "What the hell?"

"While you are staying here, you need to prove yourself useful," Itachi stated, seemingly ignoring the pain-filled screams coming from a room down the hall near my own bedroom.

"Which means you'll be completing a series of tests to show us and our Leader that you are a capable medic nin," Kisame said, also seeming to ignore the God-awful screaming.

"Are you both not hearing that?!" I shouted, appalled. How on earth could anyone _not_ hear the ruckus?

The screaming got closer and louder as the two of them just stared at me, blank faced.

I turned around to face the source of the screaming to find three ninja I had yet to meet. Two of them were dragging the third one over to the dining room, the latter screaming in pain. He had slicked back silver hair and a bare, muscular, _bloody_ torso. There was a spear stuck in his chest right over (and probably into) his _heart_, and several kunai sticking out of his arms and torso. There were deep gashes all over his body, and blood splattered all over the place (including the floor, ew). The worst part (and by far the weirdest) was how his face was contorted in, not pain, _pleasure_. He was _enjoying himself._

The two that were dragging him into the dining room stopped and dropped him unceremoniously onto the floor. The first one had long blonde hair that was partially pulled up into a high ponytail, and partially left down. His bangs were off to his left side and covered his eye and half of his face. He was tall (definitely taller than me), and of the average shinobi build: lean and muscular. The second one was about the same height as the first, had black, short hair, and an orange mask that covered all but his right eye. He was lean and muscular (just like all of the guys I had recently met in Akatsuki).

The blonde looked at me and said blandly, "He's all yours, un." He and the dark-haired guy went around me to sit at the table.

I recognized him, but I couldn't place where I had seen him before. It seemed that he recognized me, but he didn't give much of an indication that he did.

I turned to the bleeding (and probably dying) shinobi that was currently soaking the tiled floor with his blood. My medic side took over and I knelt down next to him, ignoring the blood that was most likely getting all over my bare legs. I took a steadying breath and let my chakra build up around my hands. I touched my hands to his forehead to make him pass out so I didn't have to listen to his screaming when I pulled out the pike. As soon as it was pulled free of his chest, I tossed it aside and quickly set to healing his heart, noticing that he was already starting to heal even before my chakra reached the torn organ. Frowning, I finished healing the hole in his chest and went to ripping out the kunai and healing the rest of his wounds. The whole procedure took about ten minutes, and I touched my fingertips to the guy's head again to make him wake up.

As soon as his eyelids opened, he turned his violet glare on me, shouting, "What the hell?! Why the fuck did you have to knock me out?! It was just starting to get fucking good!"

Wide-eyed, I stared back. Good? _Good_?! "You…" I stopped myself. I didn't want to make enemies too quickly.

I stood up and noticed the blood dripping from my knees to my bare feet. "Ugh. Can someone get me a towel or something?" I asked of the crowd of four sitting around the table.

The masked one jumped up, proclaiming, "Tobi will! Tobi is a good boy!"

I ignored the fact that he was referring to himself in the third person and said thanks when he gave me a light blue towel. I took the cloth and wiped up the blood that was coating my legs and feet, stepping out of the red puddle and towards the trashcan that 'Tobi' held out.

I sat down at the table, away from everyone, and glared at Kisame and Itachi. "Was that one of the tests?" I asked as calmly as I could.

Kisame grinned. "Yeah. Hidan's immortal and does this weird ritual thing-"

"IT'S NOT FUCKING WEIRD!!" Hidan shouted, while pushing himself to his feet.

"Yeah it is, un," the blonde guy said.

I twitched. "A… _ritual_?"

Kisame turned his attention back to me. "Yeah. It's pretty gross, if you ask me." Hidan loudly resented that comment.

"Ritual. Which means it was done on _purpose_…" I said, hiding my anger with a calm expression.

Kisame nodded, a disgusted look on his face.

"This means that this was all done for the sake of testing my skill…" I deduced calmly.

Kisame nodded again.

"And he _enjoys_ the pain?" I asked, disgusted.

Kisame nodded.

I stood up woodenly and made my way over to the sputtering shinobi. "ENJOY THIS!" I shouted, having gathered my chakra to my fist, and punched him in the chest, sending him flying across the room and through a wall. I went in the opposite direction to the hallway that led to my room, and, turning to face the rest of the guys, said, "I refuse to fix him ever again." I went to my room and closed the door quietly. I heard at least three of them laughing loudly, Kisame among them.

**_I also really liked this one. :) It was kinda funny, in my opinion. YAY CRACK! XD_**

**_Review, please!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	5. Mouths

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters within the series. That magnificent privilege goes to the amazing Kishimoto-sensei._**

Once I was safely inside my room, I grabbed my bag and dug around for a new outfit (well, a new set of the same outfit that I always wear), pulling out a clean set. I paused, looking down at my still-bloodied legs, and sighed. I really wanted a shower.

Conveniently enough, someone was passing by my bedroom door at that particular moment, and I ran to open the heavy wooden door and ask of whomever it was where a bathroom was located. I inwardly groaned when I came across Hidan, and he glared at me while attempting to nurse his fist-sized bruise in the middle of his chest.

"What the hell do you want?" he asked hostilely.

I glared back. "I _was_ going to ask where a bathroom would be…"

He paused for a minute, looking me up and down as if he was seeing me for the first time. Finally, "Two doors down on the left, that way," he pointed.

"Thanks," I grumbled.

"Whatever," he replied, continuing on towards what I assumed was his room.

I followed his directions and found the bathroom easily enough. It was relatively clean, but you could tell guys used it more than girls (toilet seat was left up, sink was messy, mirror was smudged, etc.).

I sighed, closing and locking the door, and took a much-needed and relaxing shower.

* * *

"Took you long enough, un," complained the tall blonde guy I had met (sort of) earlier.

I had just stepped out of the bathroom holding my dirty clothes to find the guy standing impatiently across the hall from the bathroom door. "Aren't there any other bathrooms here?" I asked innocently. Truth be told, I don't like it when people whine, which is why I had trouble putting up with Naruto for so many years.

He frowned, saying, "No. And even if there were, this one's closer to my room, un."

"'Beggars can't be choosers', you know," I recited, walking toward my room.

"Yeah, well you're not even a member yet, un, so don't go acting all high and mighty, Haruno," he spat.

I whipped my head around to face him. "How did you know my name?"

"I researched you after you killed Sasori, un. He was my partner," he replied, hatred coloring his tone.

_That_ was where I had first met him! How could I have forgotten? I had seen him briefly before and after I had killed the puppet master. I mentally berated myself for forgetting.

"Look, I'm sorry that I had to kill him; I was on a mission, and I had to follow orders. You know how it is," I said, trying to explain myself.

His eyes narrowed. "I don't care what your excuses are, un. You killed him, and that's that." He turned around and slammed the bathroom door behind him.

'Well, I tried,' I thought, returning to my room.

* * *

For the next few days, I spent most of my time in my room, only venturing out to go to the bathroom or get food. I often heard the rest of the guys in the living room, shouting about something that had happened on the television. I ignored them for the most part, still a little sore about the whole test thing. They could've just dragged some poor guy that they had fought back to wherever the heck this building was and had me heal him that way. I hadn't been made aware of any more upcoming tests, but I was wary.

One particular day, I had been sitting in my room, reading a book I had found in the desk in my room (some previous occupant must have been unable to retrieve it before they… _left_), when I felt the unmasked chakra signature of the blonde guy whom I had yet to hear the name of. He knocked sharply on my bedroom door, calling, "Sakura, un?"

I dog-eared the page and closed the book, setting it on my desk. "You can come in," I replied, slightly worried that he'd come in with murderous intent at the memory of my killing Sasori.

The door slowly creaked open and he walked over the threshold, closing the door behind him. He fixed his startlingly blue gaze on me. Walking over to my desk and grabbing my chair, he turned it so the back was facing me and sat down, crossing his arms over the back and resting his chin on his arms.

I blinked, releasing the breath that I didn't even know I had been holding. I waited for him to speak, fearful of angering the blonde again.

"So…" he said slowly.

"So…" I replied, fidgeting with my fingers.

He remained silent.

I grew frustrated. Giving up on waiting for him to speak, I said, "You know my name, but I don't even know yours."

He tilted his head to the side a little, and smirked. "Deidara," he said, introducing himself.

"Deidara," I said, trying out the new name. I looked down at my hands, "What brings you here?"

He sighed. "My arm."

I blinked, looking up at him. "Your… arm?"

"My arm," he repeated. He sat up and rolled up the sleeve of his black t-shirt to reveal a series of thick, black stitches forming a band around his left arm. "Kakuzu can sew things together pretty well, un, but I'd like my arm to actually be healed completely. Besides, these stitches are itchy."

I stared at his arm. Making up my mind, I moved over on my bed to give him room to sit down. I patted a spot in front of me and said, "Sit." He got up, sliding the chair back to its rightful spot, and sat in front of me on my bed. I began to reach for his arm, but stopped myself, looking up at him. "May I?" He nodded and placed his arm in my hands.

"Your hands are cold, un."

I cracked half a smile, too intent on examining his arm to pay too much attention to what he said. "What happened? It looks like it was severed."

"It was. Back when I was fighting… what was his name? Had silver hair, mask on his face…" he trailed off, thinking.

I blinked. "Kakashi-sensei?"

He frowned. "The Copy-Nin, right?"

"That's what he's been called, yeah," I replied.

"He was your sensei?"

I nodded. "A long time ago." I continued examining his arm and where it had been severed. "It looks like it healed pretty well; the bone is straight, and there doesn't seem to be any sign of infection…" I poked and prodded at the muscle around the wound. "The muscles are fine… Have you ever had times when it's gone numb?" He shook his head. "Then the nerves are fine…"

"The only problem is when I try to take out the stitches. Then my arm starts to fall apart again, un."

I shivered. All of my years in the hospital, and I'd never been too good with amputated limbs. "Okay, this might feel a little weird, but just try to hold still," I instructed, gathering chakra to my fingertips. I formed a sharp point in the chakra blade at my fingertips and carefully severed the thick threads holding his arm together, cutting one at a time. I immediately stopped when he uttered a small groan of discomfort.

"What's wrong?" I asked worriedly, afraid I had accidentally stabbed him with the chakra blade.

"My arm's coming apart again, un," he replied, wincing.

"Okay," I said, thinking quickly for a better solution. I began healing through to the bone where I had already cut off the threads, making sure that the bone healed straight. I got all the way around to the threads I hadn't cut, stopping the healing flow of my chakra and creating a blade again. I cut two threads before I then started healing, then switched to cutting threads, then switched to healing. I got to the last thread and made quick work of completely healing his arm.

When I finished, I barely noticed the drop in my energy at the loss of my chakra, focusing instead on making sure he could move his arm properly. After he had finished experimentally flexing his biceps, I grabbed his arm again to make sure I had healed everything.

It was then that I noticed a weird sensation on my elbow, where it was resting on his open hand while I prodded the area of his arm where his wound had been. Looking down, at first all I could see was his open hand. I lifted my elbow, temporarily forgetting his arm.

"Holy shi-crap!" I shouted, quickly avoiding the cuss word I had been about to say. I wiped my elbow on my blanket and grabbed Deidara's hand. "Oh my God. You have a mouth in your hand!" I exclaimed.

"I actually have two…" he said, holding up his right hand with a grin. I stared at both of his hands; they had identical grins to the one he was wearing on his face.

"No. Freaking. Way," I said intelligently, staring at his upheld hand. I dropped his other hand and eagerly reached for his right, bringing it closer to my face. "This is _amazing_," I whispered. "I've never seen anything like this."

"I'm probably the only person in the world who has them, un," he explained proudly.

I looked up at his face, "May I?"

He nodded, a curious look in his blue eyes.

I took his hand and turned it so it was laying in my lap, palm (and mouth) up. Cautiously, I traced the lips, wondering at the reality of this phenomenon. Suddenly, a tongue darted out and licked the tip of my finger. I pulled back, startled.

"Sorry. They kinda have minds of their own, honest," he apologized, his cheeks tinting pink.

"T-that's okay," I replied.

A chakra signature abruptly appeared outside of my closed door, followed by three others shortly thereafter. Without so much as a "may I come in", Tobi burst through the door, shouting, "Tobi heard Sakura-chan scream something! Is Deidara-sempai being mean?"

Kisame, Itachi and Hidan appeared behind Tobi. Kisame and Hidan looked at us with wide eyes, until Hidan smirked evilly and said, "You know, Deidara, it's not wise to go screwing the girl with the rest of us in hearing distance."

Deidara scowled and was about to reply when Tobi cut in, saying, "_Deidara-sempai_!! That's indecent!"

Deidara glared at the masked man and growled, "You idiots, I wasn't doing anything improper! She was just looking at my hands, un."

I finally broke out of my stupor at the conclusion that everyone had obviously come to, and said, "I was just healing his arm, and I saw the mouths in his hands. It… startled me."

Itachi calmly pushed through the crowd at my doorway and bent over Deidara's perfect arm. "Well done, Sakura. You've passed the second test." Without waiting for my reaction, the crowd at the doorway dispersed and Itachi walked out of my room, leaving Deidara and I alone.

After a few moments of uneasy silence (on my part, at least), I said, "Well, that was awkward."

He nodded.

**_;D Deidara and Sakura are a cute couple, I think. I'm glad that I was indecisive enough to make this an AkatSaku fic. I really loved writing this chapter. Oh, and I know that Sakura swears, but you'll understand how this helps create the image that is Sakura in this fic in a few chapters._**

**_Review please!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	6. Introduction

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters within the series. That magnificent privilege goes to the amazing Kishimoto-sensei._**

****  
My third test was to fight one of the Akatsuki… and win.

Surprisingly, Kisame was picked to be my sparring partner.

Unsurprisingly, I won. (Because I'm obviously that amazing.)

I ended up using one of my, according to Kisame, "underhanded" medical jutsu techniques. In all honesty, it wasn't underhanded. I didn't even give him a headache like I did last time! All I did was use my chakra blades to numb his arms again, and that was that. I only got a few nicks from Samehada and he only got a few scratches from the debris that flew up when I punched the ground. And even if it _was_ in the least bit underhanded, how does that saying go? "All's fair in love and war," only in this instance, there was no love involved. Which means you can modify the saying to "all's fair in war".

So there. I won, fair and square.

Kisame was pissed afterwards, but he was otherwise a good sport about it.

It was after I had completed this test that I met the Leader for the first time.

* * *

"This way, Sakura-chan! Follow Tobi!" the orange masked ninja chirped. I obeyed and followed the exuberant individual up a set of stairs that I hadn't known existed until that point in time. Granted, I hadn't really explored the house that I was staying in past the bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen and family room, but still (ha ha, _family_ room, Akatsuki, family ha ha). We had climbed the darkened staircase until we reached what had to be the third floor (what? More than one floor? I had some exploring to do), where we walked across the landing to a rather normal looking wooden door.

"Here we are," Tobi enlightened. "I'll wait here for you."

Masking my nervousness, I walked past Tobi and opened the door. I could sense no one in the large room, but I closed the door quietly and stood in front of it, waiting for whoever this _Leader_ was to show himself.

I took the chance to look around at my surroundings, memorizing possible escape routes and noting things that looked out of place (which was hardly anything). There were large bookshelves lining the walls to my right and to my left, and directly in front of me was a large wooden desk with hardly a scrap of paper on it. The only things on the desk were a pen and a thin scroll. Behind the desk was a large, high-backed chair, facing away from me and towards the wall behind the desk. There was one door on the far right of that wall, and it was closed. I figured that this Leader would probably either come up behind me or from that door up ahead of me, so I moved a little closer to the desk to avoid being attacked by a door.

Before I had even set my foot back down after taking a small step, the chair behind the desk slowly spun around, revealing a young man (I hadn't even sensed his chakra signature) with bright orange hair and _oh my God look at all of those piercings_! He had tons! Literally _tons_ of piercings all over his face, and _in his arm_ where the sleeves rolled back when he placed his elbows on the desk.

I skillfully kept my mouth sealed shut, forcing my eyes to stay at a normal size. He looked up at my face, and his eyes were so strange: it was like he had a set of rings instead of normal irises. They were intimidating, to say the least.

It was then that he spoke. "Haruno Sakura," he said, and his voice was a deep, thoughtful sounding baritone.

I held back a gulp. "H-hai," I answered. I mentally cursed myself for stuttering. I must have sounded so stupid, like a frightened little girl.

He stared at me a moment longer, then nodded almost imperceptibly to himself, looking down at the scroll which he now held open on his desk. "Your skills are impressive for one so young. You have passed all of the tests that have been thrown at you with flying colors. You fought and killed Sasori about two years ago. You even managed to beat Kisame, not once, but twice, am I correct?"

"Hai," I affirmed.

"Your medical skills surpass even those of the Godaime Hokage, I would imagine." He looked back up at my face, staring intently into my eyes. "I would assume that you have noticed the kidnapping of medic nin of recent times, have you not?"

"I have."

"Then you would understand that the Akatsuki is in need of a medic."

I nodded.

"Then the question remains: would you be willing to join the Akatsuki as a medic? Your primary mission would be attending to the injuries of the other members, but you may be sent on others as well. Do you accept my offer?"

I knew right away that it was accept or die; and I also knew that my ongoing mission for Konoha would require me to accept; I just needed to play my part and pretend that I had to think about it. So, I spent a number of seconds looking like I was deliberating the idea of becoming a full-fledged Akatsuki. The Leader looked at me with a blank expression, awaiting my answer.

Finally, I nodded and said, "I…will accept your offer, Sir."

I wasn't sure if I was imagining it, but I could've sworn that I saw the ghost of a smile touch his pierced lips. "A good choice, Sakura. You may call me Pain, and Tobi will bring your clothes and ring to your room. You may leave," he said, returning his gaze to the scroll on his desk and picking up a pen.

I didn't hesitate. As soon as I turned around, I could just barely feel his chakra. It was quite possibly the most tremendous, ominous aura I have ever felt in my entire life.

* * *

"So," Deidara said once I arrived at the bottom of the stairs. I looked up, hiding my fear of the Leader, Pain, behind a thoughtful mask. "How'd it go, un?"

I grinned. "Well, I don't have to be killed and dumped in some random location at this point, so I think it went well."

Deidara beamed in response. "So you're a member now, un?"

I nodded, which made him smile even wider.

"That's great! I was really worried that we'd have to kill you even though you're skills are so much greater than the others, un," he said, relief evident in his tone.

Inner sweat-dropped. 'He said that so calmly.'

I brushed it off. "Yeah, that would've sucked," I replied. We both turned and walked toward the living room, where Kisame and Itachi were sitting on a couple of recliners, watching the television. Kisame looked up at our approach, and Itachi barely even flicked a glance in our direction, choosing instead to watch the flashing screen.

"You in?" Kisame asked, and I _thought _I saw a flicker of unease in his beady eyes. Itachi grew unnaturally still.

I smiled. "Yeah, I'm in."

Both of them relaxed instantly, Kisame grinning his shark-like smile and Itachi relaxing his posture a little.

Deidara and I went and sat on the couch that was located between the two recliners, turning our attention to the television. Kisame was in control of the remote, but was kind enough to ask me if I wanted to watch a movie. I nodded, and he flicked to a movie channel.

After a few minutes, Hidan came into the family room and sat on the far end of the couch that Deidara and I were on. "What kind of crap are you watching now?"

I turned to stare at him with a straight face, "Go get us some popcorn if you're going to complain."

He glared. "Fucking get it yourself," he retorted, settling into the couch.

* * *

I grinned. At least he didn't complain after that.

That night, I returned to my room after we had all eaten our dinner and found a folded Akatsuki cloak and a small ring sitting on my bed. I softly closed my door and walked over to my bed, sitting down next to the folded clothing.

It finally sunk in that I was part of a criminal organization, and I would be broadcasting it when I put on that cloak and that ring. I placed the ring on my desk and brought the cloak to my closet, hanging it up on one of the numerous coat-hangers.

**_Soo.... That one was a wee bit shorter than the rest. Sorry 'bout that. But I couldn't allow the chapter to go on longer because the next segment belongs in the next chapter, not this one (haha, I make no sense... _) Okay, my writing style is to get it all out, and then decide the chapters. I'm currently in the deciding chapters stage... So, yeah. :)_**

**_Thanks for reading, and please review!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	7. Suspicion

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters within the series. That magnificent privilege goes to the amazing Kishimoto-sensei._**

"Look who's come back to the world of the living," Kisame taunted good-naturedly from the living room. I had gotten used to his teasing rather quickly, so I just sighed and trudged over to the cereal cabinet. For an evil organization, this place was pretty normal looking.

I grabbed a box of cereal, a bowl and a spoon and set them all on the counter, tiredly rubbing my eyes to get them to focus. The past few days had been especially trying. Deidara and Tobi had gone out on a mission, and Hidan had gone to meet up with his partner, Kakuzu. All four of them came back within minutes of each other, and two of them were wounded (need I say who? Obviously it was the two most reckless members: Hidan and Deidara).

Hidan's wounds were the less serious of the two, but they were enough that they would've killed a lesser man. It didn't help that he also just _had_ to do his masochistic ritual right after the battle, so he was even worse off than he was before. Of course, since he was immortal, he could heal gradually and still live through the blood loss.

Deidara. Reckless? Yes. Immortal? Not so much. So his wounds weren't as serious to begin with as Hidan's, but the blood loss was substantial enough that he was weakened. When he and Tobi came in, he was being carried in by the masked nin. Tobi was in hysterics, crying that Deidara had lost his cool in the battle and had consequently been critically injured. I had dropped what I was doing and healed his wounds, having him brought to his room so he could sleep and regain his energy.

When Kakuzu and Hidan came in, however, Hidan was walking just fine (well, he limped a little, but he brought it upon himself, so no sympathy from this kunoichi) and boasting how he had single-handedly killed a large group of ninja in Grass Country, to which Kakuzu landed a well-placed and well-deserved punch in the face. The green-eyed nin then proceeded to leave the bleeding and groaning Hidan on the floor in the hallway for one of us to take care of (namely me).

So, I healed Hidan (grudgingly). Seeing as I had to heal both guys from numerous and serious wounds, my energy and chakra levels dropped dramatically. I hadn't even finished my lunch before Deidara had come in, and it was only about twenty minutes later that Hidan had arrived. Exhausted, I stood up from my kneeling position, walked shakily to my half-eaten sandwich, sat down, and proceeded to fall asleep at the table.

After that, I guess it was Kisame that had brought me to my room, because I woke up wrapped in my blankets about twenty-seven hours later.

Which was when I decided I was hungry and I got up, retrieved my breakfast (more like late lunch), and sat down to enjoy a bowl of cereal at four in the afternoon.

"You were out for a long time, Sakura-chan," Tobi noticed.

I nodded, concentrating on eating. When I had swallowed, I said, "It took a lot out of me."

Deidara came in and sat next to me, followed by Hidan (who stood leaning against the doorway). I looked up at the blonde questioningly. "Thanks, un," he said.

I nodded, chewing my energy-giving cereal with fervor.

"Hidan _would_ say thanks, if he wasn't such a stuck up bastard, un."

I snorted and nearly spewed milk out my nose. Tobi admonished his sempai, saying, "Deidara-sempai, that wasn't nice!"

Hidan cussed energetically at Deidara and stormed out of the room.

Deidara grinned.

* * *

"Let's play truth or dare!" exclaimed an excited teen on the television. Every one of her friends nodded enthusiastically, giving the affirmative. I looked around the dark living room at the five other shinobi sitting in various spots around the room. Kisame was starting to doze off; Itachi looked like he was already asleep; Hidan glared at the television set; Deidara rolled his eyes and looked at the clock perched on the wall at the far left of the room; and, lastly, Tobi was leaned forward in his spot next to me, staring intently at the game being played out on the television. Kakuzu was nowhere to be seen (I figured he was probably either sleeping or counting his money in his room), and Pain was never downstairs with us anyways (most of the time, everyone thought he was away on a mission or something, because we weren't all allowed to stay in the same place at once. Seven out of the now ten was pushing it).

I sighed.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say Tobi was trying to learn from the young actors, probably plotting up a game of Truth or Dare for us otherwise unsuspecting shinobi.

Ugh.

In any case, it would be interesting to see what would happen.

* * *

I walked around the corner into the kitchen to find Deidara and Tobi whispering excitedly. "What the heck are you two plotting now?"

They jumped. For ninja, they certainly weren't very observant of others.

"Uh, uh… Deidara-sempai and Tobi were discussing what we should have for dinner!" Tobi hurriedly explained.

"Y-yeah, dinner, un…" the normally mature blonde stuttered childishly.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, what did you want? I was just thinking about cooking myself something to eat, anyways." This was true. Even though we all lived in the same house, it didn't mean that we all ate together. I normally made myself some dinner around six, and the guys would just pop something into the microwave a little while later.

That made them pause, not long but noticeably enough. I smirked inwardly. Tobi quickly blurted out, "Ramen! Tobi and Deidara-sempai want ramen for dinner tonight!"

I stared. Ramen? "All we have is the instant stuff. But, if that's fine with you…"

"Ramen is definitely what we want, un," Deidara said hastily.

"Okay then…" I went off to find the others and propose the meal plan.

* * *

"Kisame?" I called as I knocked on his bedroom door. A muffled 'what' reached me through the door.

I heard scuffling before the door opened, revealing the freakishly large blue nin. "What?" he asked, looking rather tired.

"Well, Tobi and Deidara wanted ramen for dinner, and we have enough instant stuff to feed a small army, so I was wondering if you wanted to join us for dinner?" I asked. It was true. We nearly had a whole cupboard filled to the top with ramen packages.

He blinked once, twice. "Sure, why not." He stepped out of his room and into the hallway, closing his door behind him, to follow me to the next bedroom along the long passage, which happened to be Itachi's.

I knocked once, "Itachi?"

The door opened a few seconds later. "Hm?"

"We're having ramen for dinner… you wanna eat with us?" I asked.

"Aa." I took that as an affirmative, since he did the same thing as Kisame and followed me to the next room, which was Kakuzu's. I followed the same procedure, and, surprisingly, he decided to join the growing entourage. I ended up gathering everyone who was in the house. I even went so far as to invite the leader, but he wasn't home.

I went back to the kitchen, my line of shinobi following me, to find that Deidara had already gotten some packages out of the cupboard. He looked up, startled, at the line of people who flooded into the kitchen behind me, sitting down at the table.

"I should probably get some more out, un…" he muttered thoughtfully.

"Probably. I'll cook them," I offered.

* * *

It had been a simple meal, and I found that, even though I was a spy in this strange house full of strange people, it was a rather enjoyable way to spend dinner.

I hadn't realized that it was so unusual for them to all eat together. "We haven't all eaten together… ever. It's… different," Kisame said around a mouthful of noodles. A few of the others nodded.

"Really?" I asked, intrigued. These guys all got along so well together, and yet they hadn't eaten together…at all.

"Tobi likes it!" Tobi volunteered.

After everyone had finished, I said, "Now we just have to figure out who's doing the dishes." Everyone looked around at the mess of bowls and the huge pot that had held the vast amount of noodles.

The same thought entered through my mind as it did Tobi's. "Not it!" We shouted, touching our noses (well, he touched where his nose would be without his mask on, but I digress…). A few quizzical glances from the others and most of them followed suit… except for Deidara and Hidan, who were obviously too manly to even consider such an un-manly act.

"Well, we need a tie-breaker or something," I said.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors!" Tobi shouted cheerfully.

"Aw, _hell_ no!" both Hidan and Deidara said at the same time (only Deidara's ended with an 'un').

"Come on! It's just one round! Loser washes the dishes," I said, then a brilliant idea flashed through my mind. "Unless, of course, you're both a couple of _wimps_. Afraid of a few dishes, are we? What lame excuses for shino-"

"FINE!" they both shouted rather irately. I tried not to giggle.

They faced each other, glaring menacingly.

"Ready? Set… Go!" Tobi shouted, quivering with amusement. "Uh-oh, Sempai… Paper beats rock…"

"Aw, come on! The soap tastes freaking _nasty_!" Deidara complained bitterly.

I smiled apologetically. "I'm sure Tobi will help, right?" I turned to Tobi.

He sat still, looked at Deidara, then jumped up. "Of course! Tobi will do anything for Deidara-sempai!" Then he started gathering dishes, muttering something to Deidara when they met up at the sink that sounded an awful lot like "the sooner it's done, the faster we can play… you know".

I blinked, confused and a little worried. That sounded a little… strange.

**_Haha, I loved that last part! :3 I purposefully meant for it to sound somewhat...un-straight. Just for any of you DeiTobi fans... Which, admitedly, I'm not one of... Anyhoo, I liked this one, but I LOVE the next one. Get ready for awesome over-used cliches! Haha!_**

**_Thanks for reading, please review!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	8. Virginity

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters within the series. That magnificent privilege goes to the amazing Kishimoto-sensei._**

Most of us had gone to sit on the various pieces of furniture in the living room while Tobi and Deidara washed the dishes (most of us being everyone but Kakuzu and the two dishwashers) after dinner. I was still a little worried about what exactly it was that Tobi and Deidara were going to _play_, but I tried to brush it aside.

I jumped a little when Tobi sprang into the living room and shouted, "Truth or Dare time!"

Four sets of eyes with various expressions ranging from surprise to revulsion locked on the exuberant masked nin. "What?" the four of us asked tersely.

"Truth or Dare," he said slowly, enunciating each word like he was talking to a bunch of kindergarteners. Deidara walked in and sat on the floor, waiting.

"This should be interesting," Kisame mumbled, turning off the television and sitting down across from Deidara.

"Hn," Itachi murmured emotionlessly, sitting next to Kisame.

Tobi sat down next to Deidara, nearly jumping with excitement.

Well, I reasoned, what's the harm in it? I sat down next to Kisame. We all turned to look at Hidan, who sat obstinately in his recliner. "Fuck no."

"Stop being such a party-pooper, Hidan," I grumbled, patting the spot next to me.

He stared at the lot of us for a moment, as if he were contemplating our rather painful deaths. Finally, he got up and sat next to me, crossing his legs and leaning back on his arms. He glared at Tobi.

Unperturbed, Tobi asked, "Does everyone know how to play?"

I nodded, Kisame shrugged, Itachi sat motionless, Hidan snorted, and Deidara gave a half-nod.

"Tobi will go first, then, to show everyone how," he decided generously. I had a feeling he just wanted to go first. He looked around the circle, eyes resting on me. "Sakura-chan," he said, initiating the timeless Truth or Dare ritual. "Truth… or dare."

"Truth," I said, not quite sure what his dares would be like and how stupid they were.

"Okay… hmm… Is your hair naturally that pink? Or do you dye it…"

"It's natural," I replied, suddenly not in the least bit worried that this game would get inappropriate.

"Now it's Sakura-chan's turn!" he shouted, and I was sure that he was grinning like a madman underneath his bright orange mask.

"Okay…" I looked around the circle, trying to find a good victim. I decided on Hidan, since he had been a jerk to me ever since we met. "Hidan, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

I knew he was going to pick that. Inner grinned evilly. 'I've got a great one,' she supplied (I sound so schizophrenic, don't I?). I tried my hardest to hide my own evil grin, but just barely succeeded. I ended up smirking a little, trying to keep a straight face. "I dare you to wear a dress tomorrow."

He glared at me so venomously, I was afraid I'd have to start dodging kunai. "Hey, you asked for a dare, and I gave you one. Now you have to take it," I said, holding my hands up in a placating gesture.

"The only problem with that half-assed dare, _Sakura_, is that _I_ don't have any dresses," he said, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"Well, then I guess you'll just have to borrow one of mine," I paused. _Did_ I have any dresses with me? I might… "Of course, we _could_ just steal one… The thought of you in one of _my_ dresses grosses me out," I said.

Deidara and Kisame snickered, and even Itachi smirked a little at the expression on Hidan's face.

"Your turn," I said.

I knew he instantly wanted to get back at me by the look in his eyes and the sneer plastered on his face.

"Sakura-_chan_," he said, enouncing the unneeded honorific.

'Ah, crap,' I thought. "Yes, Hidan-_kun_?" I returned, stressing his own honorific.

He barely suppressed a twitch. "Truth or dare?"

I knew he wanted to dare me, so I immediately chose truth. Predictably, he was ticked off.

"What, are you feeling wimpy tonight?" he asked grumpily. I knew he had had something utterly terrible stored up for me if I had chosen dare (probably some sort of painful self-hurting ritual or something of the like). "Fine." He suddenly grinned impishly (though, on him, it made him look like some sort of hell-spawn, but I digress…). "Who was your first time with and how old were you?"

"My… what?" I asked stupidly. I had a feeling, but I wasn't entirely sure what he was talking about.

I felt the eyes of all the other guys on me. "The first time you ever got laid," he explained, rolling his eyes.

That caught me off guard. "I… uh… I haven't ever…" I trailed off, suddenly very aware that I was the only female in this entire _house_. A strange house in a strange land filled with strange _men_.

Hidan's eyes widened. "You're a fucking _virgin_?!" he exclaimed in shock. "How old _are_ you?"

I blinked, felt my face heat up as I blushed, then grew angry. "Yes, I'm a virgin. Is there a problem with that?" I crossed my arms over my chest, huffing in angered exasperation. "I'm eighteen."

"You're seriously only eighteen?" Kisame asked, bewildered.

I nodded, turning away from Hidan (who was staring at me like I had two heads). "Hey, eighteen isn't _that_ young. I'm probably older than Tobi. How old are you, anyway?" I asked the masked nin.

"Older than Sakura-chan, that's for sure," Tobi evaded.

I turned to Deidara. "How old are you?"

"I'm twenty-one, un."

I looked around at the lot of them, searching for someone who looked younger than the rest. "Itachi, how old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

I blinked. He didn't look that old. "Kisame?"

"Twenty-nine," he said, not grinning for once.

Lastly, I turned to Hidan. "You have gray hair-"

"Fucking _silver_, dammit!"

"Whatever. How old are you?"

"I've been twenty-two for a long time," he said, staring in awe at me still.

We were all quiet for a few moments, until, "Well, I can't be the _only_ virgin in this god-forsaken group, right?" I drifted my eyes meaningfully towards Tobi.

Tobi caught the look I gave him. "Ah…well, Tobi's actually… you know… done that…"

I blinked.

"Well, hell," I said, completely at a loss.

Everyone was still staring at me.

"Alright. Enough with the staring. Are we playing still, or not?" I asked, irritated by being singled out.

Mumbled assents were issued from the group of amazed shinobi.

The game lasted for about ten more minutes, a few silly dares being made (I dared Kisame to run around in his boxers screaming 'I'm Superfish!', which I doubted he'd actually do), and a few truths being spilled (Deidara gets checked out by a lot of guys on a regular basis, haha!). But nothing was as shocking to any of them as the wonder of my still-intact virginity. Was it seriously that astonishing?

I later learned that it may have been something better kept to myself.

I should've figured that something bad was going to happen judging by the way Kakuzu shot down the hall towards the living room like his entire stash of money and other valuables was on fire when I went to bed. The rest of the guys were still sitting around in the living room by that point and I heard them all talking in low voices by the time I closed my bedroom door.

Alas, no alarm bells sounded in Sakuraville that night.

**_Haha, I loved this one. XD "You're a fucking virgin?!" is such an oxymoron. Hurhur. Yeah, sorry that this one was short, too. But now it's getting into the SakuraxSOMEONE section. I think I'll have a chapter or so for each pairing. I think, unless someone requests it, I'm not having PainxSaku or KakuxSaku. Pain wasn't part of the TOD, and neither was Kakuzu. So I don't think they really fit in with what I'm planning. BUT, if I do get a lot of requests for either of those pairings, I'll try to fit them in._**

**_Thanks for reading! Please review!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	9. Kisses

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters within the series. That magnificent privilege goes to the amazing Kishimoto-sensei._**

"Why was Kakuzu in such a hurry last night? Did something happen?" I asked sleepily the next morning. All of us (minus Kakuzu) were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast.

Deidara looked away, avoiding my eyes. Tobi stopped fidgeting. Kisame acted extremely interested in whatever was in his cereal bowl. Itachi stared blank-faced (what a shocker) at the table as if he hadn't heard me speak. Hidan tried to hide a bit of a smirk by filling his mouth up with cereal.

"What?" I asked, confused beyond belief.

"Kakuzu had a feeling that money would become involved in a conversation a few of us were having, so he was rather interested," Itachi stated eloquently.

Everyone visibly relaxed after Itachi said that. I was suspicious at this point. What could they possibly be hiding from me?

But Itachi's statement was completely plausible. I couldn't question it without making the others aware that I was too suspicious. I sighed. If they didn't want to tell me something, then I guess I'd just have to let it be… for now.

* * *

By the next day, everyone was still avoiding looking me in the face, as if they were guilty of something horrible (well, they were, but you know what I mean). So, I went to the one person who didn't seem to avoid me altogether just because of whatever it was that they had talked about with Kakuzu.

Itachi.

I searched for his chakra signature and found him in his room. I knocked twice, waiting for him to answer. The door opened, revealing the blank-faced Uchiha. "Yes?"

"Um, can I come in?" I asked, hoping that he would let me in so I could figure out what the deal was.

He stared at me for a moment, his black eyes assessing me. Finally, he nodded and stepped to the side, letting me in.

I looked around his room for a second; it was impeccably clean, no clothes lying around like I would expect of most any other guy, and there was a bookshelf standing near his dresser. I noticed that there were also no windows in his room, just like there were no windows anywhere else in the house.

He closed the door and walked past me to sit down on his bed. He looked up at me and gestured to a spot next to him. I blinked. 'That was… unexpected,' I thought. 'Have you ever noticed how _hot_ he is?' Inner asked. I mentally punched her.

I hid my surprise and nervousness and sat next to him on his bed, drawing my legs up to sit cross-legged. He sat back against the headboard and brought one knee up to rest his arm on, leaving the other leg sprawled out behind me.

"What's troubling you, Sakura?" he asked, his deep voice sounding completely at ease. I had never seen or heard him so… relaxed. He's always been so formal around others. I wondered if this was what he was really like… And he said my name. He'd never said my name except for that one time when he knocked me out…

I took a deep breath. "I don't understand it," I finally said.

"Understand what?" he asked, still relaxed but giving the impression that he was all ears.

"Ever since the other night, everyone's been avoiding looking me in the eye. Did I do something wrong?" I asked, finally letting out what was bothering me.

He blinked, surprised. "Why would you think something was wrong with_ you_?"

"It's just the way that they act around me; like they're guilty about something. I don't know," I said, sighing with frustration.

"You did nothing wrong, Sakura. Maybe they _do_ feel guilty about something. Who knows?" he said, and I had a feeling he was trying not to get too specific.

"Well, _you_ were supposed to know. That's why I came to you instead of someone else. Kakuzu kinda freaks me out; Hidan's annoying; Deidara won't say a _word_ to me; Tobi… is Tobi; and Kisame is just being really quiet, like he's pretending I don't exist." I paused. "You're the only one who hasn't really treated me differently." Except for now.

He seemed to hesitate a moment before replying. "I'm sure it's nothing," he finally said.

I got up and walked to the door, pausing before I reached for the handle. "Hey, Itachi?"

I turned around, only to (once again) come face-to-chest with the Uchiha. I looked up, wary of what he was planning to do.

My heart nearly stopped when I found his arms around me. Was he… _hugging me_? My heart picked up a frantic rhythm, trying to find the right beat. Tentatively, I reached my arms up from their position at my sides to gently wrap them around his waist, leaning my face against his chest. I could hear his heart beating, and it wasn't nearly as fast as mine.

"Don't blame yourself," he said softly, placing a chaste kiss on the top of my head. That was it for my heart. It stopped, only to pick up again triple-time.

He let go of me momentarily and opened the door. I was sure my face was as red as a cherry (haha, go puns), but I focused on my breathing and walked calmly out the door, down the hall, and into my bedroom.

Holy hell.

* * *

After the whole Itachi incident, _I_ was the one avoiding people. I stayed in my room most of the time, much like I had for a good part of my first week here. If I was honest with myself, I realized that I was avoiding the rest of the guys because I was afraid that they knew about… what happened with Itachi. I mean, nothing _really_ happened, but I wasn't sure if I could face them (especially Itachi) because of it. I didn't know what Itachi was planning, but it had to be bad; Itachi didn't _hug_. I could say to some random person on the streets of some foreign country, "Hey, did you know that Itachi hugs?" and they'd be like, "You're a raving lunatic," and shove me in an asylum. Itachi and hugging just… didn't work.

So, I had concluded that he was up to something, and thus, I should avoid him.

* * *

A few days later, having made up my mind, I decided to come out of hiding.

"Sakura-chan!" Tobi cried from behind me. I jumped.

"T-Tobi! You startled me," I said, willing my racing pulse to slow down.

"We've been worried about you, Sakura-chan," he admonished, comically shaking a finger at me like a parent scolding a misbehaving child.

What he said had shocked me. "You were?" Since when did S-classed criminals worry about other people?

Tobi nodded. "Of course we were." Tobi wrapped an arm around my shoulders and walked me to the kitchen, where Deidara was sitting and munching on something. The blond looked up at our approach.

"Hey, Sakura!" he said in greeting, getting up to stand in front of Tobi and I. "Are you feeling okay, un?" he asked, putting a hand to my forehead. He brought the other to his, checking our temperatures and comparing them, I assumed.

Then I felt something moving underneath his hand and on my forehead. I blinked. Was his hand… _kissing my forehead_?!? I blushed, and I was absolutely positive that he felt it because he attempted a frown and said, "You're heating up, Sakura, un."

Right then and there I knew that he had consciously kissed my forehead with his hand, and that he was picking on me for blushing.

I willed the blush away and said, "I'm fine, Deidara. Thanks." I stepped back, away from Deidara's lecherous hand and Tobi's arm, and fixed myself something to eat.

**_Aaaw. I love DeixSaku and ItaxSaku. I think that I should warn you all that each chapter eventually goes up a bit in rating because the guys go from being cute and innocently flirting, to outright hitting on the poor girl. The next chapter should be skipped if you don't like KisaxSaku. It's understandable that a lot of people are uncomfortable with the pairing, seeing as he's so much older than her and he acts like a monster-shark sometimes. But I think the pairing is cool, so... Yeah. That's how it is. :)_**

**_Thanks for reading! And please review!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	10. Ow

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters within the series. That magnificent privilege goes to the amazing Kishimoto-sensei. I also do not own Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Yes, that does appear later on..._**

**_I couldn't resist! ;_**

A couple days later, I had successfully brushed aside both of the incidents and pretended that the two were either just fooling around or high on something. Tobi had been especially clingy lately, but I figured it was just because of when I had decided to hide in my room for those few days. He _had_ said that they were worried about me…

The rest of the guys had started acting semi-normal: Hidan and his cussing, Kisame and his shark-like grins, et cetera.

But… I was still a little worried.

Which was why I was not paying attention when I was peeling a carrot for a snack.

I had been deep in thought even before I reached the refrigerator for a carrot, and even deeper in thought when I brought it to the sink to peel it. So deep, in fact, that I didn't notice the strong chakra signature that was located somewhere near the entrance to the kitchen. I suppose, however, that it was a familiar enough signature that it didn't worry me out of my train of thought. Indeed, I was so preoccupied that I jumped when I saw a hand settle on the counter on either side of me out of my peripheral vision, cutting my finger with the vegetable peeler.

"Ow," I said, dragging my thoughts to the situation at hand (more puns, haha). I had temporarily forgotten that someone was behind me, until I heard:

"Startle you, Pinky?" It could be none other than Kisame. His nickname for me had stuck, even though I was kind enough to drop the Shark-face and Sharkie names.

I attempted to turn around, but was stopped from progressing any further because Kisame still had his arms on either side of me. I forgot about my bleeding finger.

I felt extremely short standing in front of him. I looked up at his face, and was suddenly very nervous at the expression he had. He looked… I wasn't sure what he looked like. It was like he was looking at me like he wanted something, but there was something more to it. I had never seen a look like that before. It was almost… a tender expression.

I wasn't sure I liked the way my body reacted to that look. Apparently, it knew more than I did. I felt like someone had unleashed a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. I felt my face starting to heat up.

I suddenly felt one hand at my waist, and the other grabbing my hand, bringing it and my bleeding finger to his face. He glanced at the cut, which was at the tip of my index finger, then brought it to his mouth, sucking away the blood. The whole time he was looking at me, watching my expressions change. At first I was shocked, then sort of weirded out, and then the blushing came back full force.

Kisame obviously noticed, because he began _licking_ my finger, running his tongue around the cut and sucking on it.

I blushed even harder. He _knew_ what he was doing to me. I could see he was hiding a smile.

Suddenly he let go of my finger, reaching behind me to fumble around in the cabinet for some bandages. He wrapped a strip of the white cloth around the cut and tied it. He finished and looked at me, our bodies still only inches away from each other. I blinked when he grinned his signature shark-like smirk. He ruffled my hair and walked out of the kitchen towards the hallway with all of the bedrooms.

I stood in front of the sink, dazed.

What the _hell_ had just happened?!

* * *

I came out of yet another bout of intentional hibernation a couple days later for lunch. I aimed for a little after two so that I could steer clear of most of the guys. Heck, the only ones that didn't really bother me (yet) were Hidan and Kakuzu. And, well, Tobi was just Tobi. He bothered me, but didn't at the same time. Not like the others…

I sighed as I paced down the hallway to the kitchen.

"'Tis but a scratch!"

"A scratch? Your arm's off!"

"No, it isn't."

The hell?

"What's that then?"

"I've had worse."

"You liar!"

"Come on, you pansy!"

I peeked in the living room where nearly all of the guys were seated around the television, either smirking or laughing (well, except for Itachi, but I thought I saw him smirking _just_ a little…) at whatever it was that they were watching.

Kisame looked up. "Look's who's come out of hiding."

Everyone but Itachi looked up, blinked, and then returned their attention to the TV.

Kisame laughed heartily at the fight that was being played out. "You should watch this. It's hilarious."

I stared at the lot of them. All six of them were deadly S-class criminals, and yet here they were, watching some stupid show on the television and _laughing_. I shook my head, said 'no thanks', and continued on my way to the kitchen.

"Peanut butter… peanut butter," I muttered to myself while searching for my sandwich fixings. I heard laughter from down the hall and a faint, "Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!"

"Yes I have."

"Look!"

"Just a flesh wound."

I shook my head. I found the peanut butter and then dug around in the fridge for some jelly. I was in the mood for something not entirely good for me, so I was indulging in some good old fashioned PB&J.

"That's not really healthy," Hidan said from the doorway.

I looked over my shoulder at the Jashinist. "So? It tastes good, that's all that counts."

"It's still not fucking healthy for you, idiot."

I put the sandwich together and replied, "Screw you, Hidan."

"Fuckin' wouldn't mind if you did."

I blinked once.

Twice.

Three times.

"Uh… About that… I hope you were being sarcastic," I said, and I truly did mean it. I didn't want to think that he liked me like that… Heck, I didn't even really want him to like me, period.

He just laughed and left the room.

I finished my sandwich and debated whether or not I should go back into "hibernation", or go watch that ridiculous movie that the guys were watching.

Hmm…

Judging by the way that they have all been acting, I thought that it would be wisest to just go back to my room. But, if I were completely alone, who knew what a criminal of their caliber would do? So, would it be safer for me to retreat, or to go and hope that none of them try something while I'm with all of them?

I deliberated for a few moments, creating a mental list of the pros and cons of each idea. The one with the most pros was watching the movie with them, so I prayed that they would behave themselves and made my way to the living room.

"…How you English say, 'I one more time, mac, unclog my nose in your direction', sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about advancing behavior?! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey-bottom biters!"

"What the hell are you guys watching?" I asked, sitting down on the couch next to Kisame and Deidara. They all laughed.

**_Ah, Hidan... Your subtlety amazes me... That's a funny word, "subtlety". It's looks so weird.... Anyhoo, I liked this one, and I think I changed my sorta-beta's views on Sakux_____ pairings. Hurhurhur :3 This will be the last update for a little while. I'm going to Rome in a few days with my Latin class, so I won't be anywhere near a computer and my mind shall be far, far away... It really already is. I'm a bit nervous, but I'm also really excited._**

**_Thanks for reading! Please review!_**

**_Much love (and wish me luck! :D),_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	11. Missions and BooBoos

_Hey everyone! I'm back!_

_:'( You might wanna go back and just read the end of the last chapter for a refresher._ _I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in... holy manure, 5 months! But, I have had a bit of a problem with my muse. See, he almost overdosed on peanut butter cookies, and it was just a very hard time for the both of us. He's been in rehab, and he just got back out a couple days ago, and we're back in business. I've got a beta! She's wonderful; her name is Deep Blue Dragon (Erica) and this chapter wouldn't have been quite so error-free without her. Give her love! Also, Rome was wonderful, and thanks so much to everyone that said they hoped I had a good time. The food was AMAZING, and the flights were long and eventless (which is a great thing; I'm still not comfortable with flying). I can't really think of anything else that's not pointless to put up here, so I hope you all enjoy this chapter! :D_

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any characters found therein. Naruto belongs to the ever-amazing Masashi Kishimoto._**

* * *

"Deidara?"

"Mm?"

I stared at the lump of clay that the blond was currently molding into something, frowning as I thought about being stuck at the lair even though I was _supposedly_ a member. "When am I gonna get to go on missions with you guys?" I didn't want to sound too suspicious, but I also didn't want to sit around doing absolutely _nothing_ while I waited for the guys to come back.

He looked up from his clay and stared contemplatively at me. "I'm not sure, un. You should go up and ask Leader-sama about that one." He returned his attention to his clay.

After a few moments of careful deliberation, I left Deidara's room and headed down the hall for the door that would lead to Leader's quarters. It always creeps me out when I have to go to his office. The hallways are dark and the staircase is cramped, and leader prefers to hide himself until he's sure that you'd soil your undergarments when he decides to appear; damn his ability to mask his chakra.

But, he wasn't anywhere that I could find him. I wasn't allowed to go past his office, so I had to call out to him to make sure he wasn't actually there. After receiving no response whatsoever (thankfully he hadn't tried to scare me), I huffed and went back downstairs, not even bothering to hide my irritation when I went stomping down the wooden staircase, muttering about stupid leaders not being around to do their jobs.

It was as I was stomping down said stairs that I ran into Tobi, who had been uncharacteristically quiet as he was in the process of descending the staircase. I assumed that he had come out of one of the many doors that marked the separate floors between Leader's room and the floor that we all lived on.

"Tobi! Do you know where Pain-sama is?"

"Uh, he's not here anymore. He just left when Tobi was done talking to him. Sorry, Sakura-chan," he said with a shrug.

I huffed dejectedly and walked with the masked ninja back down the stairs. Tobi turned to me and asked:

"Why did Sakura-chan wanna see Leader-sama?"

I turned to look at him and replied, "I wanted to know if I would be going on missions with the rest of you guys anytime soon. I'm getting kinda bored just sitting around here all the time, you know?"

"Ah, Tobi understands that feeling. Before Tobi joined, Tobi had to sit around all the time or follow Zetsu-san around. It wasn't very exciting."

"Hm."

It was then that Tobi decided to grab my hand. I stared wide-eyed at our joined hands and felt myself being tugged around by the seemingly oblivious young shinobi.

* * *

All of this attention from these supposedly extremely scary S-class criminals was messing with my head. I was becoming paranoid. I was looking around corners to make sure I wouldn't be glomped by an over-excited Tobi; I was completely avoiding going into anyone's room except for Deidara's (mostly because he was too busy working on his clay to make any moves on me, thankfully…); I wouldn't eat any meals with the rest of the guys except for dinner.

God. Being an Akatsuki _sucked_ sometimes.

But, not too long after my unproductive jaunt up to Leader's room, I was given permission to go on a mission with Hidan and Kakuzu.

When I heard the word mission, I was nearly overcome with relief.

Not so much when I heard who the mission was with.

Damn it all.

* * *

"Hurry the hell up, Sakura!" Hidan's head yelled at me.

I just stared and snickered at his decapitated state. He had been recklessly fighting a jinchuuriki (who got away) when he was caught off guard and lost his head. Literally.

His expression had been priceless: just this pure mix of shock and outrage as his head went flying up above his body; when he started falling back down, his expression changed to one that clearly said, "Oh, shit."

That look was stuck in my mind as I stood above his head and laughed. (I really couldn't help it. It was just so damn funny!)

"Bitch! Stop laughing and _fuckin'_ _heal me_, dammit!"

Okay. So he talked tough, but you have to admit that a shouting head isn't all that scary when all he can do is swear at you or possibly bite your ankles. I kept my distance so that he wouldn't bite, because I honestly wouldn't put it past him.

Hidan snarled at me and I tried to stop laughing. It was just the funniest, creepiest thing that I had seen since joining the Akatsuki.

"Okay!" I shouted over his constant stream of profanities while trying to keep from laughing harder. "Okay, calm down."

I reached down to pick up his head and he turned (somehow, don't ask me how) to bite me. "Hidan, you bite me and I'll use your head as a soccer ball for the rest of this mission, got it?"

He stopped and glared at me.

I reached for him again, "I mean it! Don't bite me." I picked up his head and brought it over to his body, placing it so that the vertebrae were in-line with the rest of his spine.

Taking a deep breath, I placed my hands, now covered in green medical chakra, over his neck and healed him.

"_Damn_," he said while sitting up. "That shit felt so much better than that bastard's freaky tentacle things."

Figuring that was the closest I'd ever come to a 'thank you' from him, I said, "You're welcome," and got up and walked back over to Kakuzu, who seemed to be fuming over the lack of money-producing jinchuuriki in the immediate vicinity.

* * *

After we had reported our (unsuccessful) results to Pain a couple days later, I was assigned a new mission with Deidara and Tobi. Somehow Leader-sama figured out that I didn't really like working with Mr. Tentacles and Mr. Mood Swings. (Hidan had a bad habit of being violently happy, and then dropping down to a dangerously violently unhappy state in a matter of seconds.) I didn't exactly feel safe in that environment.

And, honestly, tentacles just weren't my thing.

So, two days after the mission briefing, Tobi, Deidara and I headed out to round up some escaped prisoners for a very high-ranking client. I hadn't known earlier that the Akatsuki missions system worked just like the normal shinobi system: clients paid for favors and missions to be completed, we went out and kicked ass and got paid. I guess the only difference was that our missions were almost always ranked A or S.

* * *

"That's the last of them, un," Deidara said with a satisfied (if not slightly sleepy) grin. He had knocked out and tied up the last of the escapees and tossed the unconscious prisoner into the pile with the rest of the unconscious prisoners. There were about ten in total.

Tobi, Deidara and I surveyed our handiwork. "Well, I'd say we did pretty well. Didn't even take an hour to get them all," I said, wiping my gloved hands off on my Akatsuki cloak. In fact, it had only taken around forty minutes to track and round up all of the escaped prisoners and pile them in a clearing near the prison. Now all that remained for us to do was to somehow deliver said prisoners to the aforementioned prison.

I looked around, suddenly at a loss. What were we going to use to transport all ten of these convicts?

What to do…

"Um, Deidara-sempai?"

"What do you want, Tobi?" Deidara glared out of the corner of his eye at the masked shinobi.

Said shinobi brought a finger to the front of his mask (where his lips would be) in a thinking gesture. "How're we gonna bring all of these guys back to the prison? Tobi doesn't think Deidara-sempai has enough clay to build a bird and fly all of them back… Does Sakura-chan have any ideas?" He turned to face me, tilting his head questioningly.

Deidara began to fume. "Of course I have enough clay, un! Idiot! What kind of brilliant artist doesn't have enough clay for any situation?" He then proceeded to mutter profanities while stuffing his hands into the clay pouches at his waist. If I could have seen Tobi's face, I'm sure he would've had a rather sly expression.

Within a few minutes, Deidara had two giant clay birds with large beaks, perfect for stuffing five full-grown men into each. "Take that, un," he muttered irately.

Tobi clapped his hands. "Once again, Deidara-sempai has proven himself to be a true artistic genius! Tobi is so proud to have Deidara-sempai as his sempai!"

I discreetly rolled my eyes. I wondered if Tobi was faking his personality and was really a horrible evil genius, disguising himself as an innocent, young, playful shinobi.

…Nah.

* * *

We were travelling back towards the base in Amegakure an hour or so later, after collecting the payment, when Deidara told Tobi to go on ahead of us.

Tobi looked back, an air of suspicion around him, but did as he was told.

I stopped on the branch next to Deidara, and he turned to look at me. A curious look flew across his face.

And then he blushed slightly.

"Um, Sakura, un…" he started, turning his face away to look at the forest floor beneath us.

"…Yes?" After the way everyone had been acting prior to this, what with all the hugs and kisses and what not, I was a little worried that he would try something.

"Um, yeah. I didn't want Tobi to know, un, because he, like, you know, looks up to me so much, which is stupid, but, um, yeah, I, uh, kindafracturedmyfingerIthinkwhenIpunchedthatoneguy, un."

I blinked. "So, you're embarrassed that you threw the punch wrong, and didn't want Tobi to know?" I asked, amused and slightly relieved.

He nodded, a self-conscious look on his face.

I sighed. "Which hand?"

Deidara held up his right hand, looking abashedly at the forest floor. I looked down at his hand and noticed that he had an ugly bruise forming on his index finger, which was starting to spread up to the back of his hand.

"Ouch," I said in sympathy.

He made a small noise at the back of his throat, probably trying to agree without sounding like a big baby.

Men and their pride…

Looking around, I found a conveniently fallen log a little bit away from the path we were currently standing on and suggested that we sit down.

After we were settled, I turned myself so that I was sitting facing Deidara and he rested his hand on my lap. The healing process took about ten minutes, and the drop in my chakra was barely noticeable. The fracture was right on the knuckle, but it was easily healed.

"There," I said. "All done." I looked up at his face, but it looked like he was concentrating on something, so I waited a little.

And waited some more.

And that was when I noticed that his hand was still on my leg, and Deidara's face was moving steadily closer to mine.

"Um, Deidara…?"

He looked up from my lips, a hesitant look in his eyes, but his face kept moving forward, inch by inch…

Internally, I was sort of freaking out. Did I really want Deidara to kiss me? I mean, I'm a freaking spy and if I get attached to any of the Akatsuki, I won't be able to do my job right, and then I'll either die at a very young age at the hands of the Akatsuki, or I'll die at a very young age at the hands of the Godaime. And if I had to pick the way I'd die, I'd choose c) None of the above.

While I was fretting about my impending doom, I had spaced out enough that I was jolted back to reality at the feeling of Deidara's lips against my own.

Aw, shit.

Why 'aw shit', you ask? Because I was actually starting to _enjoy_ it. That's why.

My eyes had started to slip shut, and my hands were slowly reaching up to wrap around his neck, and my lips were moving with his…

"Sempaiiii!! What are you _doing_ to poor Sakura-chan?!" screamed an extremely flustered Tobi, who grabbed me by the shoulders and lifted me up and away from Deidara.

Just in time, too. If I had gotten any more into that kiss, I dare say I would've been attached to one of the Akatsuki.

_Shit._

At this revelation, I was silently sending a very heartfelt 'thank you' to Tobi.

"Tobi! What the _hell_ are you doing here, un?! I told you to go on ahead! Dammit, un!" Deidara stood up and started to walk rather menacingly towards Tobi with a considerably murderous aura rolling off him in dark waves.

Seeing this as my chance to escape, I headed back to the path and ran full speed toward the Amegakure base.

_Dammit, this is _so_ not good…_

* * *

_I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'm working on chapter 12 right now, so don't worry about another 5 month drought. Loki is working his butt off (my muse), and I'm writing when I have the time._

_Remember to review! You know I love them!_

_Much love and thanks for reading!_

_child_of_the_moon_

_XO_


	12. Come Out of the Closet

**_Hey guys! Again, I'm so very sorry that I haven't been updating as quickly as I, or anyone, would like. Thank you so much for not giving up on me, though! I'm still working very hard on LAL. There have been times when I have a large chunk written and then I go back, re-read, and delete it because it just plain old_ sucked_. So, thank you for sticking with this, and I hope you enjoy this (short) chapter. (Also, you may want to just go back and re-read the last chapter.) :)_**

* * *

I'm sure you can already guess what I did when I got back to HQ.

Yeah, I'm like a freaking bear that's confused about when hibernation season starts.

I literally hid in my closet as soon as I finished reporting the mission to Leader. I felt Deidara and Tobi's chakra signatures enter the premises and instantly concealed my own. Faintly I heard Deidara call my name a few times, and when he got no response, I heard Tobi give a strangled cry of pain.

I tried to calculate how long I would have to stay secluded this time. Two days? A week?

I groaned. Maybe I should just pretend nothing happened. Would Deidara do the same? Or would he try to make a move on me in the presence of the other guys?

Would the others even _care_?

…

Well, considering that they've all kinda showed an interest, maybe someone will protect me…

This got me thinking about who I'd be paired up with on the next mission.

Which got me thinking about the last time I had an opportunity to send an update via wind jutsu to Tsunade.

Which was last week.

I quickly formed the hand seals necessary to initiate the jutsu, whispered the message, and sent it out.

I jumped guiltily when I heard a knock from the door to my bedroom.

* * *

"Sakura," a deeper voice called.

_Kakuzu? What the heck would _he_ want?_

The door opened slowly, and then closed again. I stayed very still and very quiet, slowing my breathing down as much as possible and hoping that he hadn't come in because of that teeny tiny flare of chakra that occurred when I did the little wind jutsu.

The closet door opened, and I stared up (craned my neck, really; he's pretty tall) at Kakuzu.

He stared at me, a strange look on his unmasked face.

Speaking of which, I had never before seen his face with out his mask and hitai-ate on. He was actually quite handsome, you know, if you like stitches and funky black-and-green eyes.

"Why are you in your closet?"

I blinked. "Um, well… you see… uh," I stuttered trying to think of something convincing.

He waited, a small frown appearing on his lips. Let's go with the truth…

"Well, uh, Deidara―"

"Ah, I see," he interrupted. Which was a good thing, seeing as I didn't really want to explain all the lovely details (and I say lovely with a sarcastic tone).

"Yeah." I scrunched my nose up in a mixture of embarrassment and awkwardness.

"And what was that flare of chakra earlier?" he asked rather bluntly.

Damn.

This time I was a bit faster coming up with a suitable answer. "I got scraped up a little on the mission. I was healing myself."

He seemed to buy it, his posture relaxing infinitesimally.

Inner sighed in relief. _'That was a close one.'_

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall of the closet, and suddenly I felt as if there was something in my face. My eyes popped back open again, only to find Kakuzu's face inches away from my own.

"Kakuzu! What―" I stopped when I felt his lips on my forehead, and I felt a blush quickly work its way up my neck and settle into my cheeks.

He pulled back after a second, and stood to leave.

"Wait! Why…?" I asked, standing up to follow him.

He stopped at the door to my room and turned, a bemused look on his normally impassive features. "You're cute when you're flustered," was the only answer he gave me as he left.

* * *

I sat in the middle of my bed for hours after that.

So… I'm cute? That's why everyone's acting like they are?

Huh.

Now I was in a bit of a predicament. If the reason that the guys are attracted to me is that I'm cute (of all things!), then to solve this problem, I'd have to make myself…_un-cute_.

I frowned. How to do this?

* * *

A knock on my bedroom door woke me up.

Wait… I had been sleeping?! I was supposed to be figuring out a battle plan to counteract their advances! Gah!

I sat up with a start, scowling. "Who is it?" I asked grumpily.

"Itachi," came the reply from behind the door.

Oh. What could he want?

'_You mean other than our incredibly _cute_ self? Hm, what indeed?'_ Inner asked sardonically.

I mentally flipped her off. "What is it?" I asked, thinking that with this particular question, this particular person would not feel the need to open the door. Itachi is generally a very polite person.

Wait. What do I mean _generally_? He's the most polite person I've ever met. How he could kill his entire clan and still be such a gentleman is beyond me.

And, for once, my assumption was correct. He didn't open the door; instead, he just said through the door that if I was hungry, there's some take-out on the kitchen table and I should help myself.

What's this? The Akatsuki orders take-out? Interesting…

"Thanks, Itachi," I replied. "I'll be out in a minute." As if in response, my stomach grumbled rather loudly. I could have sworn that Itachi had heard it through the door; I could practically _feel_ him smirking at me.

Okay, so he's only polite when anyone's looking.

* * *

A few days passed, and there were no problems to speak of. Deidara didn't bring The Incident up, and the ever-antisocial Kakuzu didn't even come out of his lair to hang out with the rest of us. Kisame and Itachi left for a mission, and eventually so did Tobi and Deidara.

Pretty soon, it was just me and the plant-man, Zetsu.

"So…" I said awkwardly. We were currently sitting rather formally at the dining room table, him on one side, and me on the other. A large plate of left-over's from the other night sat timidly between the two of us.

I was sitting with my hands in my lap, twiddling my thumbs and biting my lip nervously.

Zetsu was sitting with his hands folded together on the table and was currently staring rather creepily at me.

I don't know, I guess pupil-less yellow eyes make me jittery. Especially when they're coming from an emotionless bi-colored face.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when he moved to say "itadakimasu", which is pretty sad because manners shouldn't be so damn scary.

"You seem nervous, Sakura," he said, his voice deep and, I must admit, just a teensy bit menacing.

"Eheheh…" I glanced off to the side. "Well, this is our first time meeting, and staring at people tends to make them a little nervous," I explained. He didn't seem like the type to take any BS, so I tried being as straightforward as possible while still being somewhat polite.

"Hm."

Thinking he was done talking, I decided to grab some food from the platter. I was planning on grabbing some sesame chicken (one of my favorites), but that was before he started talking to himself.

"I don't know what they see in her," he said, his voice a little lighter than before, more carefree.

Just as I was about to say something to the effect of, "I'm right here, dumbass", Zetsu spoke in the deeper tone he used previously.

"Don't be so rude."

At this point, I wasn't quite sure whether he was talking to himself again, or if he could somehow read my mind and was reprimanding me for thinking about calling him a dumbass.

This quandary was answered when he said "whatever" and continued eating.

I quietly ate my meal and began compiling a list of "what the hell" moments that I'd had since 'joining' the Akatsuki, this one being highlighted and underlined for emphasis.

* * *

**_Again, I'm sorry it's so short. The next chapter's a big fight/spar scene with Kisame. Honestly, it's the longest fight sequence I've ever done, and I hope it comes out okay._**

**_This chapter was the un-beta'd version. (I'm sorry, Erica, but I just couldn't wait any longer!) I'll put up the beta'd version as soon as my beta sends it to me. :)_**

**_And now for the review responses!!_**

**_For Ikutolover345: I'm so happy you're enjoying this! Honestly, it's a pain in the butt to write, but it's also very fun. I'll try to update faster, but I can't guarantee anything. I'm _hoping_ chapter 13 will be up within the next two weeks, but you never know. Can I have that cookie, pretty please? :3_**

**_For Inuyashalover17: Again, I'll try to update chapter 13 ASAP. If I take too long, I'm counting on you to tell me to get a move on, 'kay? :) Hope you're enjoying LAL._**

**_For LadyKagome93: I'm so glad you like it. I hope you liked this chapter, as well, even though it was really short. Thank you for keeping with this!_**

**_For cookie0monsta: I'm so happy you're enjoying this so much! I totally agree with the nosebleed, though. Some of those scenes were hard for me to write, but I'm glad they came out so well. I hope you liked the fluffy little KakuzuxSakura scene there. :D_**

**_Thanks so much to everyone for all of the reviews! (I put these up because I never responded to them and just found them in my inbox while I was uploading this.) I hope you all liked my first attempt at KakuxSaku fluff. Your reviews give me fuel, so press that little review button at the bottom of the page, plzkthx!! :D_**

**_As always, much love_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	13. Wrestling With a Shark

**_Hey! As promised, I'm updating today. :) Just because I love all of you readers. Big cookies to everyone who's patient enough to wait for my sporadic updates. lol_**

**_So, um, well... I don't know how to warn you about this one. It will probably be kind of... not so good... because most of it's a huge battle/spar between Kisame and our Cotton Candy Coiffured Champion (totally used thesaurus . reference . com on that one lol). It's my first really in-depth fight scene, ever, so tell me if you like it. And sorry to the people who aren't huge fans of KisaxSaku. Dunno what to say other than that I love the pairing..._**

**_Oh, yes. And the beginning. Hope you all get a kick out of it. This fic is rated T for a reason..._**

**_Have I been forgetting to do disclaimers lately? I think I have... *too lazy to go back and check previous chapters* Eheh... Well, I don't own Naruto or any characters found therein. ...end disclaimer..._**

**_Onward!! :D_**

* * *

"Guh, Kisame… It's too big…"

"Wimp."

"No, really, it's too big," I complained, trying not to pant from the effort I was putting forth.

Kisame sighed in exasperation. He then proceeded to lift Samehada and hefted the huge sword onto his shoulder.

One-handed.

"Shut up. You're such a show-off."

"You're the one who wanted to see how heavy it is," he replied, grinning.

I crossed my arms and started walking towards a bench. We were currently inside a previously unknown-to-me indoor training area within the base. It was huge, and had everything one could possibly want as far as keeping up one's personal fitness was concerned.

Kisame sat down next to me, and we both settled into a comfortable silence for a couple seconds.

And then he started chuckling.

"What the heck is so funny, Fish-face?" I asked, annoyed. Somehow, I knew that he was laughing at my expense. I just wasn't entirely sure _what_ he was laughing about.

Once his laughing subsided, he turned to grin mockingly at me. "You wouldn't have been able to lift Samehada anyways."

I blinked. "Why not?"

"Only the owner of the sword can wield it. There's a jutsu that I put on it in order to make sure no one can touch it."

I stared at him, confused. "And what, exactly, is so funny about that?"

"I didn't use the jutsu."

…And…?

"Which means you really are a wimp." He continued grinning, but this time I perceived it as more of a challenging sort of smirk.

Something snapped. I turned away from him, my expression turning murderous. "…cocky bastard…" I mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear, and then…

"What the―!" One punch and I sent the insufferable jerk across the room, where he lay dazed on top of a bunch of collapsed exercise dummies.

I started walking towards him, chakra flaring up my arms. Kisame's eyes shot up at my approach, and then narrowed in anticipation. "You're still a wimp, _Sakura-chan_," he called out, just adding more fuel to the fire.

"So you're arrogant _and_ stupid. Way to be, Sharky," I called back, and then I started running towards his still sprawled-out form. Just seeing him laying there, completely unguarded and unworried, was making me see red. '_He's really pushing it…'_

Just as I was about to land a chakra-laden punch to his gut, I noticed something wasn't right. I couldn't stop my fist in time, and the body that it made contact with exploded in a burst of water.

'_Dammit, a water clone…'_ I straightened and quickly looked around while trying to sense his chakra.

There was nothing. _'Where the hell is he? Up? Right? Left? Behind?'_

I slowly looked down. The floor was a really nice hardwood finish. I'd really hate to ruin it…

And if he was really under the floor, then I'd just have to draw him out somehow…

I quickly formulated a plan, running swiftly to the exit, knowing that if he really wanted to fight me, then he'd stop me before I could get outside. It was either that, or he'd come outside looking for me, and _then_ I could tear up the ground to look for him if he tried that stunt again.

It turned out that he preferred the latter option, appearing from behind me once I was outside with his hands rapidly working on a water jutsu. I recognized it as one he liked to use to create a body of water, so I quickly prepared a fire jutsu of my own to counteract. Fire wasn't my forte, but it was the best I could come up with on such short notice.

I watched as his chest swelled up and his cheeks began to bulge, his eyes somehow managing to laugh at me when his mouth couldn't. In return, my own chest bulged and a hot sensation began to work its way up my throat, and I began to taste smoke on my tongue.

We both released the jutsus at the same time, and our water and fire connected with a loud hiss. For a moment, I was worried that his water would push the fire shooting from my mouth back and end up soaking me as well as creating a rather large pond out of the outdoor training area. It wasn't until I had used up all of the fire that had built up in my lungs that I started to panic.

I quickly ducked and shot out of the way of the jet of water while a shadow clone took the hit for me. I jumped back into a tree before he could notice me and made my way through the limbs to a large pine behind him. I paused there to catch my breath.

I surveyed the steadily growing pool of water, amazed at how quickly the level was rising. It looked to be about thirteen feet deep at this point, and I really didn't want to have to use up precious chakra by trying to stand on top of the water, so I grabbed a few kunai and threw them at his back, knowing that he would either sense them before they hit and consequently stop his water-vomiting, or he would get stabbed in the back and stop because of the shock.

Not the nicest of plans, but hey, it's Akatsuki. What do you expect?

Kisame turned, sensing the kunai, and deflected them with a few of his own, thus effectively halting his jutsu. The only downside to this was that he now knew where I was.

Still boiling mad, I jumped down and landed lightly on the water, barely causing a ripple. "I can't believe you just threw up a whole pond. That's just disgusting."

"Hey, it works. And now we're in my element, so you should probably prove that you're more than just piss and vinegar, Pinky. Otherwise, you'd just prove to me that you really are a wimp…"

It really figured that water is my least comfortable element. I could count the number of water jutsus I knew on both my hands, which is pretty sad considering I'm the Hokage's apprentice and I should know a ton of jutsu of every element. But, I guess water is my weak point.

We stood across from each other, calculating and devising plans. I had to figure out how to get rid of all of this water…

An important part of this jutsu of Kisame's was how the water was contained. He would project the water from his mouth and simultaneously build a solid wall of chakra to contain it around the perimeter. It helped having chakra levels that rivaled that of the tailed demons.

I looked around the pool of water, finding where the water stopped at the edges. He had formed walls between trees, thus using less chakra to form the wall and using the trees as a natural barrier. So in order to break this barrier, one would just have to get rid of the trees…

Or at the very least, one of the trees.

As soon as I had made my decision, Kisame rushed at me, fingers flying through seals as he smirked. "Enough standing around," he said menacingly, and a large shark made of water leapt from the water and came soaring at me.

Feigning surprise, I stood in place until the last possible moment, and then jumped out of the way of the shark.

It hit the pine that was directly behind me, splintering the wood and breaking it apart. Water began streaming out of the crack in the barrier.

'_Yes!'_ I exclaimed inwardly.

That is, until I noticed that the water had stopped flowing out and Kisame was charging me again.

He had patched up the hole! _'Bastard!'_ I thought venomously. I quickly blocked a swift punch to my gut and grabbed his wrist, wrenching his enormous weight above my head and tossing him across the 'pond' into a tree.

Quite pleased with my feat of strength, I grinned and charged Kisame as he was getting up, throwing kicks and punches as fast as I could.

He blocked a great deal of them; I _had_ heard somewhere that he was a master at Taijutsu (rivaling the ever-obnoxious Might Guy). I received a few kicks and jabs myself, but was able to block and parry most of what he dished out.

That is, until he started acting like the villainous Akatsuki that he was and resorted to underhanded tactics.

Such as implementing water jutsu in between punches in what had _obviously_ transformed into a Taijutsu match, getting me soaked _and_ adding a few bruises to my collection.

Jerk.

Having had enough, I used a substitution jutsu to end up directly behind him and kicked his legs out from underneath him, sending him into the water before he knew what had happened.

Inner began to do a victory dance, shouting, _'Haha! Take that, loser! Cha!'_, and for once, I didn't feel like beating the snot out of th― Wait.

I stopped my train of thought there (because I sounded _so_ psychotic, even to myself) and got back on track.

There was a barrier that was in dire need of being ground into bark mulch, and I was suddenly very happy to oblige.

Swiftly drawing chakra to my hands, I began to make my way to the nearest tree, which happened to be a rather large maple. I could have sworn that it sighed in relief when Kisame grabbed me from behind just as I was about to demolish it.

"I don't think so," Kisame said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. Meanwhile, I was trying to breathe through the chokehold that I was currently under, when I realized that I was within kicking distance of the maple tree.

Ha! Take that, Fish-face!

I transferred the chakra that had been in my hands to my feet, and kicked wildly, shattering the wood and causing rather large splashes with the water, becoming even more soaked (if that was even possible at this point).

I bit Kisame on the arm and he let go, cursing while I ran to another tree.

He started patching up the hole the tree left behind with chakra, only to be waylaid by _another_ tree being ground to mulch… and another… and another.

I was quite proud of myself. There were around fifteen trees left, and at this rate, the water would be down before I got to the last five.

My current tactics would have worked, if Kisame hadn't decided that it would be more beneficial to him if he just let all the chakra in the barriers dissipate.

I got sucked under by the force of the water leaving through the trees, and Kisame (as far as I knew at the time) had been brought down as well.

We ended up on top of each other in another clearing a few hundred yards away, panting while trying to catch our breath.

I would have made some witty jibes on his apparent lack of anything resembling a brain, but I was frozen in a state of shock when I realized that I was on top of him, our legs tangled together, and my face mere inches from his.

Well, honestly that wasn't what _really _shocked me. What really shocked me was that I was realizing _now_ (of all times) that he really wasn't all that bad to look at. He had really high cheekbones, and the 'gills' on his cheeks weren't gills at all, but rather tattoos of some sort. His mouth was slightly open from trying to catch his breath, and his lips... I tried to stop and find the negatives. His eyes were a little creepy, but overall… he wasn't so bad.

My hands were conveniently placed on his chest, and with our bodies flush against each other, I could feel his muscles rippling with every breath.

Good _God_, whatever he does to get his muscles so toned, _don't_ let him stop.

I was sorely tempted to kiss him, and I could see that he was thinking the same thing with the way his eyes were locked on my lips.

He moved his head forward, very slowly, eyes shooting up to mine, gauging my reaction. I didn't move, lost between indecision and want. He stopped millimeters from my lips.

And then he had to ruin the moment. "I wanted to be on top," he said, pouting and trying to hide a smirk.

I smacked him on the shoulder. Hard.

"God, Kisame! You're such an ass sometimes," I said moodily, blushing, and stalked back to the compound.

He laughed, and I found that I liked the sound, despite being rather irate with the blue man.

* * *

**_So, what'd you think? I'd love to hear some feedback (and thanks to everyone for all the reviews I've had so far!), so please, feel free to press that little "review" button down there... :)_**

**_Hope you all enjoyed this! I hope to have the next one up in about two weeks. Hope the wait isn't too long..._**

**_Thanks so much for reading!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	14. Karaoke

**_Hey guys/girls (probably mostly girls, am I right? lol)! As promised, here's chapter 14. I had hoped to get it up by Friday, but I really haven't been able to work on it that much. So, this chapter's really short compared to the rest, but I've been dealing with a lot at home recently. My parents are both unemployed right now, so it's been kind of... not very fun around here. I can't guarantee anything, but I'll try to have chapter 15 up within 2-3 weeks. Sorry for the wait. :(_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any characters therein. Those lovely creations belong to Kishimoto-sensei. :)_**

After stealthily reporting to Tsunade-shishou later that week, I wandered into the living room, planning on watching an old movie with a bowl of popcorn.

To my surprise, I found nearly all of the Akatsuki sitting on the various couches and recliners and watching taped episodes of an old sitcom. My sights zeroed in on one of two large bowls of popcorn and I plunked my butt right down next to it, and consequently Deidara.

"Popcorn, un?" he asked without taking his eyes off the TV.

"Thanks," I replied, snagging a big handful and turning my attention to the set. I remembered the show; my father and I used to sit in the living room after dinner while my mom was cleaning up and we'd watch this very show.

Smiling at the fond memories, I popped another piece of popcorn into my mouth and relaxed.

That didn't last long, though.

* * *

I found out that night what the Akatsuki were like when they were drunk. Hidan happened to have a massive stash of beer and various other intoxicating beverages hidden in a secret compartment in his bedroom.

Now, before you start thinking anything funny, no, I don't drink.

Not very much, anyways.

So, after Zetsu came in and said that Leader was gone, Hidan ran to his room and came back with an armload of bottles.

Of course, he was grinning from ear to ear (which is really creepy, so pray you never have to witness that), thinking he was oh-so-clever for having a "top-fucking-secret stash". It obviously wasn't top secret to the others, seeing as they were hardly surprised, which meant that it most likely wasn't top secret to Leader and he just didn't care.

Deidara jumped up from his seat beside me to grab a six-pack and Tobi followed a bit nervously, saying, "Deidara-sempai, what if Leader-sama finds out? Tobi is a good boy, and good boys don't get in trouble for drinking!"

To which Deidara replied with a curt "shut the hell up, un".

Kisame grabbed a bottle of rum, Kakuzu snatched a container of sake, and Zetsu took a scotch bottle.

As everyone was opening up their various cases and bottles of liquor, Hidan came towards me and offered a beer. Not knowing what else to do, I took it, holding the bottle by the neck gingerly and not opening it.

I looked over to my right at the recliner and saw Itachi sitting there with a slightly exasperated look. He wasn't drinking anything, and he seemed to prefer watching out for the rest of the Akatsuki in lieu of partaking in the festivities.

Hidan flopped down onto the couch next to me and started guzzling one beer after another…

After another…

After another…

And after yet another…

And another…

I began to contemplate whether or not an immortal can get alcohol poisoning, and if so, what to do about it.

Soon after, he was rip-roaring drunk out of his wits, at which point he jumped up and yelled at Tobi to 'fucking turn on the radio, bitch' (or at least that's what I _thought_ he said).

As soon as a station was tuned in, Hidan started singing.

Badly.

He was so animated, sloshing his beer, twisting his hips, shouting what he knew of the lyrics. It was quite a sight.

And then he turned to me, singing (if that wretched keening can be called _singing_) something like 'I'm bringing sexy back' (again, couldn't tell with the slurring) while holding his beer bottle upside-down to his mouth like a microphone.

At this, Kisame started laughing uncontrollably. I noticed him sprawled out on the floor by the radio with two empty rum bottles by his side, tears running down his face as he clutched his stomach.

Even as I watched, his laughing intensified. He was seriously in drunken hysterics. He tried to catch his breath and he snorted, which of course just made him laugh harder and harder until nearly everyone else was either grinning or laughing along with him.

Zetsu was grinning (also a very scary image) drunkenly as he sat askew in his recliner. I looked away, shuddering.

Tobi was passed out on the floor. When Deidara saw this, he called the prone boy a lightweight and laughed, tripping over his feet to sit next to me on the couch again.

When he finally managed to make it over, Hidan pushed him out of the way and nearly sat on top of me to prevent Deidara from getting close. I tried inching away, but a hand stopped me.

"Oops! Soorry, Sa-ku-ra," Hidan slurred, face flushed from the alcohol and the precarious position his hand was currently in.

"I wus _aymin_ fer yer showlderr," he slurred drunkenly.

"Whether you were aiming for my shoulder or my boobs, you should remove your hand _now_, or I'll remove it for you," I said threateningly. He grinned and squeezed…

And then he pulled away as he yelped in pain when a small tongue of fire lit up his hand. "Wut thuh _fuuuck_, man?! Itachi, you bazterd!"

I looked over at Itachi to find him smirking slightly at Hidan while raising a wine glass to his lips.

* * *

The rest of that night was a blur. I woke up on the floor with my head on Zetsu's chest, my feet on Hidan's stomach, my right hand in Deidara's hair, and my left hand on Kisame's arm. It was weird waking up to the sound of Zetsu's heart mixed with Hidan's chainsaw-like snoring, but mostly the sound of Zetsu's heart. I mean, who knew that the creepy plant man had a heart?

I carefully extricated myself from the pile of drunken (and thankfully clothed) bodies and stepped to the edge of the living room. Stretching, I looked back at the scene, finding Itachi, Tobi and Kakuzu all sleeping on the recliner, couch, and loveseat respectively. Seeing nearly the entire Akatsuki all sound asleep was quite the endearing sight.

Or at least, it _was_ until I remembered that I was technically still an active Konoha kunoichi, and, like it or not, these guys that I'd somehow gotten relatively close to were still my enemies.

I was obligated to take them down at the word of my Hokage.

I could kill them right at this instant… maybe.

I mean, physically, it was very probable that I could manage to eradicate at least half of them before everyone started waking up. And I knew that even drunk ninja, especially ones of this caliber, could effectively immobilize and kill me.

That certainly sobered me up pretty quickly, so I headed back to my room to sleep off the rest of the alcohol and hope that I wouldn't have to think of such a morbid deed for a good long while.

* * *

**_Hope you all liked that little fluffy bit towards the end. :) Again, I'll try to have the next chapter up relatively soon. Give me a couple weeks and it should be longer and more entertaining than this one._**

**_Thanks for reading, and please, don't hesitate to leave a review telling me what you think/what you might want added to this story._**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	15. Peeping Toms and Food Fights

**_Hey! Again, I'm so terribly sorry I didn't update when I said I would. As a few of you know, I'm having a hell of a lot of crap going on a home right now, and if any of you are from my area of New England, you've probably heard about it in the news. :( The company my mom worked for went bankrupt, and now both of my parents are currently jobless. Mom had to go to court because some idiot was trying to sue her, and we don't know if she'll have to go to court again any time soon, so life just sucks right now. :P_**

**_But, I did manage to write this chapter (even though it's hella short). I might be putting up some one-shots just to keep you readers from getting bored (because, yeah, I love you all that much :D). And special thanks to Pendragon1 for kicking me in the arse and threatening me with cookie-consuming chibis to get me writing. Everyone send a thanks to her as well, because if it weren't for her, you wouldn't be reading this right now. :O_**

**_Sorry it's so short, but I promise it's entertaining (it's one of my favorites so far, lol). I didn't send it to my beta because I just _had_ to get it up now, now, NOW. So if you find mistakes, PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN REVISE IT! :D And beware of some more strong language and suggestive themes. _**

**_Thanks, and enjoy!_**

* * *

It was as if the Fates had stepped in on my sour mood, like there was a whole godly party of "Make-Sakura-Feel-Better" deities up there trying to brighten my ho-hum attitude (you'll understand why I'm being sarcastic later on).

After I went back to my room to catch some decent shuteye, preferably _not_ piled on top of some of the world's most powerful criminals, I woke to the sound of Hidan shouting at everyone to "shut the fuck up, you fucking inconsiderate dickheads!"

I snickered. It was obvious that he had a serious hangover, and thus his already sensitive shinobi ears were hypersensitive to any and all sounds. So the guys were probably chatting sleepily, and Hidan, overzealous idiot that he is, shouted at them to shut up; which only caused his (and probably everyone else's) massive hangover headache to get even worse.

Take that, idiot.

Smirking, I rolled out of bed, head throbbing slightly, grabbed some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom.

* * *

I stepped out of the bathroom utterly pissed off. While I had been taking my deliciously hot, soothing shower (and secretly sending a status report to Tsunade-shishou), Hidan burst in. Before I had a chance to yell at him to get the hell out, (because couldn't he see I was in the shower and consequently _naked_?) he slammed open the toilet lid and started puking his Jashin-loving guts out.

At this point, I was staring at him through the swirled-glass shower door, hands frozen in the process of lathering my pink hair, with my mouth opened into an appalled 'O' of horror.

Sitting with his face resting on the rim of the toilet bowl, Hidan turned to face me.

I turned the color of a ripe tomato, not gonna lie.

"H-Hidan!! What the _hell_ do you think you're _doing_?! Have you one _shred_ of decency in you at all?!" I screamed, probably loud enough to wake my dead grandparents, who were currently resting in peace all the way in Konoha (lucky them).

He laughed weakly, and then proceeded to puke in the porcelain throne.

Gathering my wits about me, I turned so he wouldn't be able to see at least my naked front. Even thought the shower door was swirled-glass, one could make out a few choice features of someone's body through it.

Damn Akatsuki, not buying dark, _not transparent_ shower curtains…

To make matters worse, Kakuzu strolled in just as Hidan started to remark upon how perhaps they should've invested in _plain glass shower doors_. Kakuzu stood in the doorway (I know this because I looked over my shoulder to send death glares at Hidan), and started to go off about the pros and cons of plain glass shower doors, saying what types would be more cost-efficient and maybe they should've just gone with shower curtains instead…

Fed up, I screamed at the both of them, "Get the hell out, you pigs!!"

Laughing, Hidan stood up and sauntered out as if nothing had happened (was he really sick from that hangover, or was he faking it?) and Kakuzu silently strolled away. "And close the door!"

* * *

I avoided Hidan as best I could, but let's face it: Hidan's a stubborn asshole when he wants to be.

He managed to be in the kitchen while I was walking by, talking to Kisame about the whole shower incident. Bristling with fury, I exercised my terrific restraint and barely managed to walk by the door without pummeling something.

Later on, Hidan came into the living room while I was reading up on my medical terminology and started talking to Zetsu about how apparently nice my butt is, but how I'm severely lacking in the chest department.

Suppressing an intimidating growl, I stood up and went to the library to study instead.

Tobi came in much later while I was reading and started browsing through the shelves of books. Hidan seemed to have a Sakura-Radar because he came in and said to the masked ninja, rather loudly, that yes, my hair color is indeed natural.

Hands clamped down on the edges of the table, I very nearly turned said piece of furniture into wood chips.

Standing up stiffly, I stalked out of the library, steam practically blowing out of my ears and every other orifice in my face.

The day went on in much the same manner, with me going to a different area of the base, trying to be _alone_, and Hidan somehow managing to find me and someone else to talk about various choice bits of my anatomy.

…Bastard.

* * *

Dinner time came around, and I decided to make something simple: torikara, which is basically deep-fried chicken nuggets, and some steamed vegetables.

I figured I was being rather generous, given my not-so-generous mood today. I set the table, served the food, and sat down to wait.

Sure enough, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach; all the guys began to filter in, sniffing the air curiously. Itachi sat near me; Deidara and Tobi sat across from each other; Hidan and Kisame sat next to each other, whispering suspiciously; and Zetsu and Kakuzu took up the last two seats.

From my position, I had a direct glare-route at Hidan, which would definitely come in handy.

A mumbled 'itadakimasu' was said, and everyone started digging in. I watched Hidan and Kisame carefully, and noticed how Kisame's eyes would widen when Hidan whispered something, and then they would both grin maliciously and cast a swift glance in my general direction.

I narrowed my eyes, and Itachi looked on curiously. Once the conversation level of everyone else went up (namely Deidara and Tobi arguing loud enough to drown out any other conversation), Itachi asked me what was wrong.

Taking a vicious bite of my torikara, I replied, "Hidan."

Itachi nodded understandingly, but smirked.

Eyes widening in horror and nostrils flaring in anger, I put two and two together and came up with: shit. Which, in this situation, means that Hidan told Itachi and Itachi just didn't want me to know that he knew so I wouldn't hate his ever-loving guts for the rest of his blasted life.

Dammit!

I composed my features as best I could, and said to Itachi, "If you found any enjoyment in what happened this morning, I will personally see to it that you are castrated in the most painful way imaginable, _Uchiha_."

"What happened this morning, Sakura-san?" he said smoothly, innocently.

"That's better." At least I knew I could trust an Uchiha. Wait? What am I saying?

A+ and a gold star for Itachi; can't say so much for Kisame, though.

Because I heard him snicker at whatever Hidan said.

I saw red.

I furtively mixed some of my stewed vegetables with a chunk of torikara, creating a rather unappealing ball of food.

Which I swiftly maneuvered onto my chopsticks and flung directly into Hidan's face. A slimy piece of carrot ricocheted off Hidan's face and landed on Kisame's cheek.

All was silent.

It was like the calm before a storm.

Because all hell broke loose and let's just suffice it to say that it was an all-out food _war_.

Admittedly, when all was said and done, I felt quite a bit better than I did before.

But Hidan's still the number one bastard, and Kisame pulls up a close second.

* * *

**_Lol. So? Like/dislike? I was happy with it. 'Specially Hidan. :D And the semi-submissive Itachi. lol Review, please!_**

**_And I'll try to have the next update done before the new year. I have vacation, so I shouldn't have any excuses! Feel free to kick me in the rear if I'm not updating when I say I plan to. Chances are, I just haven't felt motivated enough. :)_**

**_As per usual,_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	16. Christmas, Akatsuki Style

**_Well now! I know I told a few of you that I'd put up a Christmas one-shot, but then I got thinking, 'why not just put up a Christmas chapter instead of a whole new fic?' So, out of that thought, came chapter 16. It's a little different than usual, but I figured it'd just fit a little better than having a one-shot based on this fic. Let me know if I should upload it as something separate and have a different chapter 16 put up. Enjoy, and Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!_**

* * *

So I guess just because the Akatsuki is a bunch of murderous villains, doesn't mean that they don't celebrate Christmas.

I woke early Christmas morning (and when I say early, I mean exactly 2:43 in the AM) to a bright orange mask in my face, thanks to the number one hyperactive and surprisingly elusive Akatsuki member, Tobi.

I didn't scream or cry out in surprise; I mean, come on, I've lived with the Akatsuki for, what? At least three months now.

No, I took my pillow, chucked it at Tobi, and proceeded to burrow under my blankets in search of some more shuteye. But no, Tobi wouldn't have any of that. I could practically _feel_ his determination coming off him in tangible, happy waves.

I tensed up, now horribly awake and aware, and prepared to do a quick transportation jutsu to some undisclosed and (hopefully) not Tobi-infested location in the compound in the hopeless hunt for more sleep.

Then I heard tired footsteps approaching. And _then_ I heard the tired voice of Deidara saying, "Tobi, just _go to sleep_, un. It's way too early for even Itachi to be awake. No one wants to open presents this early, un…"

He trailed off as he staggered sleepily away. Tobi sniffled.

I rolled my eyes. Itachi normally woke up at about 4:00, maybe 4:30 _every morning_; no sleeping in on weekends, folks. Itachi's just an early bird.

But everyone else (normally) slept until maybe 6:30 to 7:00 every morning.

Then again, this _is_ Christmas, and normally people want to wake up early to stare at the presents in excitement and anticipation of what wondrous things could possibly be contained beneath the red and green wrapping paper…

Nah, it was still too early, and I drifted off again as I heard Tobi leave the room…

Only to be woken up again not even an hour later by the whole crew.

* * *

"Does anyone understand the importance of at least six hours of sleep?" I asked, rather Grinch-like this morning.

If I could've seen Tobi's face, I would have said that he was grinning maliciously from ear to ear.

I began to wonder again whether or not he really was an evil mastermind…

Kisame chuckled and said, "It's Christmas, Sakura. There's no such thing as sleeping in on Christmas."

Tobi nodded enthusiastically.

Hidan mumbled grouchily, "At least not when you've got a friggen ninja with mind of a friggen four year old…"

I snickered, having heard him quite clearly since he was sitting next to me on the couch.

We had a small, neatly trimmed fir tree set up in the middle of the living area (Tobi had spent hours making it look _just right_) with a good amount of presents wrapped in varying degrees of neatness sitting beneath it.

I looked up at the slight sound of footsteps, eyes widening in slight surprise as Pain and Konan stepped into the room, each holding a steaming mug of coffee. Inner laughed as I suppressed a smile at the sight of the entire Akatsuki in one room: we looked like a demented family sitting around our too-small Christmas tree while sipping from mugs of coffee and hot cocoa.

Pain went into the kitchen and came back with two chairs, setting one down for Konan and sitting in the other. "Shall we begin?" he asked, sleep just barely evident in his deep voice.

Tobi jumped up and ran to the tree, grabbing a present marked "To Tobi, From Sakura ".

Everyone else soon followed suit, grabbing one present (following Tobi's lead and grabbing their presents from me), while I grabbed the first one that was for me, marked "To Sakura, From Leader".

I watched Tobi open his present first; it appeared we had a tradition here: everyone took turns opening their presents. Huh, imagine that; Akatsuki could be civil.

Tobi's gift, from me, was a stuffed animal and a bag of gummy candies. He's so strange; he's always acting goofy and childish, even though I know that he's a lot older than me (refer to our disastrous game of Truth or Dare). So I didn't know what to get him. But apparently he was extremely happy with what I gave him, saying he had been really hoping I'd give him something cute and fluffy.

Point proven?

Next to open their gift was Zetsu. He lifted his package and started debating with himself as to what would be in it. "It's not hard," his white half said, poking the wrapping paper. "**And it's pliable, like clothing perhaps**", his black half continued, bending the gift slightly.

"Just open it already, Zetsu," Hidan said impatiently, fingers itching to rip his own wrapping paper off.

"**I'm getting there, Hidan**," Zetsu said. "Please be more patient."

Huffing angrily, Hidan sat back and crossed his arms petulantly and proceeded to mumble obscenities about 'stupid plant people'.

Gently, trying not to rip the paper, Zetsu's white hand started unwrapping the gift. After what felt like hours, he finally revealed a folded black t-shirt. Lifting it up to show everyone, he smirked. The shirt, which I had bought at a local civilian clothing store, read, "Allow me to introduce myselves."

Everyone smirked, and Tobi laughed outright. Zetsu folded it and thanked me, still grinning.

Next was Deidara. He eagerly tore the wrapping paper from his gifts, revealing first some painting supplies, and then a light blue t-shirt that read, "I'm with stupid →". Laughing, he said, "Thanks, un. I've needed some more paints."

I smiled back and said, "You're welcome."

Hidan whispered an exasperated 'finally!' and ripped open his first gift: some weapon polish for his scythe.

"It's been looking sort of rusty lately, but that could just be blood, so…" I trailed off, not sure whether or not he would appreciate it.

Hidan grinned. "Thanks. I ran out a month or so ago." He the proceeded to open up his second gift, still smiling. His smile dropped for a second when he saw what was inside, and then laughed and said, "You wish!" and held up the custom-made red shirt: "Sakura's Bitch".

Everyone laughed as he put it away. Now it was my turn, and I opened my present from Pain. It was a brand new medical text book.

"I thought you might appreciate it," he said. I smiled, thanked him, and set it reverently on the couch next to me. Tsunade-shishou didn't even have something as nice as this, and she had a whole _library_ of medical texts!

Hidan called me a nerd and smirked, obviously trying to egg me on.

Too happy with my gift, I said 'thank you' and turned to watch Kakuzu open his gift. I hadn't known what to get him, so I had asked not only Hidan (who was really no help at all), but Itachi and Kisame as well. Together, we came up with this idea.

Kakuzu pulled out a nice leather wallet (not that he used wallets very much; he had _bags_ of money lying about) and a Monopoly game. "I figured you'd like the money aspect of the game," I said while giggling at his expression. Without his mask on, he had this comical confused look on his face at the sight of the game.

Smirking just slightly, he said, "I would. Thank you."

Next up: Itachi. He's always so serious, so I didn't know what to get for him either. He opened his gifts with minimal rippage of the paper and pulled out a black sweater and a book of poetry. With a barely-noticeable smile, he thanked me and started flipping through the book, pausing on various pages to read familiar pieces.

Kisame picked up his presents and tore open the paper like, well, a shark if sharks had fingers. He laughed as he picked up the movie "Jaws" and a stuffed shark.

"I thought you might recognize someone from the movie; I always thought you and Jaws looked related," I said.

He looked at me seriously and said, "Jaws was my father."

I blinked. And then started laughing along with everyone else.

Next up was Pain. He opened his gift from me and pulled out a new stationary set and a nice fountain pen. He nodded his thanks, and I smiled back.

Konan opened up her little gift bag and pulled out some seeds and garden tools.

"I thought you would like to have a little garden," I said, suddenly not so sure she would appreciate it. She smiled and thanked me sincerely, and my worries were laid to rest.

* * *

After a little while, Tobi said, "We should change the order of things. Tobi thinks Sakura-chan should open all of her gifts now!"

When no one dissented, Pain said, "I don't see why not." Tobi took that as his cue to grab all of my gifts and dump them at my feet.

Blinking, a little surprised, I grabbed the first one. It was from Konan. I pulled out a red scarf with a small pink flower embroidered on the end. I looked up and thanked her, wrapping it around my neck just because I could.

Tobi handed me his gift, and I found a pink scrapbook inside. "So we can put in happy memories of us, Sakura-chan!" he said, happy and boyish as per usual.

"Thanks, Tobi," I said, and I meant it. But it's too bad, because who knew how much longer Tsunade-shishou would let me stay here?

Zetsu handed his to me, unwrapped. It was a rare potted flower; bright hues of blue and pink and white colored its petals. "It's so pretty! Thank you, Zetsu," I said. He nodded and sat back down, looking away from me.

I blinked, slightly confused and curious, but returned my attention to my gift pile.

I picked up Deidara's next. Unwrapping it, I found two red and pink flower hair clips (I guess I seem really girly to these people), and a beautiful painting of my namesake: a cherry blossom. It looked so realistic. I turned to Deidara and told him I'd hang it up in my room. I then put the flower clips in my hair and grabbed the next gift.

It happened to be a gift from Kakuzu. It was small, thin, and wrapped precisely. A card, maybe? Knowing him, it was probably something either shoplifted or something that cost little to nothing. Opening it carefully, I found an IOU.

Of course. Kakuzu didn't have to buy anything to write an IOU. Smirking, I read it aloud. "One free meal at a restaurant of your choice. From Kakuzu."

I looked up at him, sitting there completely serious and Kakuzu-like. "And by free, is it safe to assume that you'll either threaten the owner of the restaurant of my choosing or haggle the price down to something you'd be willing to pay?"

"Yes," he replied, all-business.

"Okay, then. It's a date," I said, laughing. I didn't miss the slightly victorious look in Kakuzu's strange eyes, or the bristling auras of the other six guys (not including Pain) around me. Perhaps I shouldn't have worded my reply that way?

In any case, I tried to ignore the sudden un-Christmassy tension in the room by picking up Hidan's present next. Worried, I poked the present tentatively.

"It's not going to bite me or otherwise maim me in any way, shape or form, is it?"

Hidan laughed. "Probably not. But that would be interesting…"

I opened up the first present, to find a t-shirt that read: "Skinny Bitch".

"I am not!" I said defensively.

"You're not what? Skinny or a b―" Hidan started to reply, only to be cut off by my rather loud and impetuous "neither!"

He laughed and said, "Whatever."

I opened his next gift, only to wish I never had. I could feel my face turning as red as a tomato. I couldn't move my fingers. I couldn't blink. Was I even breathing?

I stared in horror at a matching set of lacy panties and a bra.

I couldn't hear the guys laughing over the blood rushing in my ears.

Knee-jerk reaction, I turned and punched Hidan as hard as I could in the face. Okay, so it wasn't as hard as I could; his face wasn't smashed in. But, let's just say I might have had to heal it later so he could talk.

Stupid Jashin-worshipping immortals…

Konan was trying not to laugh, and Pain was barely winning the battle over his facial features: his lips were twitching up from a straight line to a smirk and back to a serious line. He gave up and grinned, turning his face away so his stoic reputation wouldn't be smashed to bits.

I put the box cover back on the unwanted gift and put it behind my new medical text book so no one would grab it before I had a chance to burn it.

"Completely unnecessary, how the heck did you even know my size? God, you're so immature," I mumbled, moving on to Itachi's present.

Everyone quieted down as I opened it, schooling my features into a more normal, less embarrassed expression. I opened a small jewelry box and found a small cherry blossom pendant hanging on a silver chain. I smiled; it was so pretty, and I had never received jewelry from anyone besides my parents before.

I turned to say thanks, when Itachi said, "There's another one," pointing to a large, neatly wrapped box. I picked it up, slightly surprised to find that it was heavier than the rest of the gifts, and unwrapped a box full of medical supplies.

"I thought you might want to store those in one of your scrolls so you'd have plenty," he said, eyes as unreadable as ever.

"Thanks, Itachi."

My mood was back to normal now, and I reached over to grab the last gift. There were two small-ish packages stacked one on top of the other and tied with a ribbon. Opening the smaller one first, I found a box of brand new kunai. "How'd you know I needed more?" I asked, grinning.

"I noticed you didn't use as many in our last spar, so I figured you needed some more," he replied, shrugging. "Open the next one."

I did, and pulled out some new pajamas. They were a light blue cami that said "Bite me" across the chest inside a set of shark's jaws, and some pj shorts with shark figures swimming around.

Of course, sharks.

Laughing, I said, "Well, I guess this means you're no longer a total jerk, Kisame."

Sheepishly, he scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously. "Uh…"

Catching on, I narrowed my eyes. "What?" I asked, tone allowing no room for weaseling his way out.

"I kind of got rid of your old pajamas… so you'd wear these?" he said, not seeming apologetic in the least, just a little worried about how bad I'd hit him.

"Kisame…" I growled, and then proceeded to punch him in the arm.

The rest of the day went by in a fog of good cheer and great food. Who knew Konan could cook?

I healed Hidan and Kisame grudgingly, but punished them further by not talking to them for the rest of the afternoon.

Christmas with the Akatsuki was definitely different.

* * *

**_So, should I keep this as part of Living a Lie, or should I upload it as a one-shot instead? Feedback is always appreciated, and thanks to everyone for your wonderful reviews!_**

**_Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	17. Smokey the Bear Would Not Approve

**_Hey! I'm so sorry (I've been saying this a lot lately) for not updating when I said I would. But I can totally explain! My excuse: teh hoemwerks of dewm. No seriously. I had, like, three projects due around the same time, and I'm a professional procrastinator of the worst kind, so I dug my own grave there. But I'm done with my most demanding class tomorrow, so you should be expecting more frequent updates because I'll have less to worry about. College searching is still underway, so that's also a tad time-consuming, but it shouldn't be so bad now._**

**_And I know I said around New Year's, and, you know what? 18 days later isn't really that bad, considering. lol Count your blessings, right?_**

**_Anyhoo, enjoy! This chapter is dedicated to _LittleLambR.H. _for requesting some more ItachixSakura. I had already been planning for some eventually, but I decided he'd been neglected long enough. :) Hope you enjoy it, darlin'! lol_**

**_Disclaimer: All characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi. Not me. *sniff*_**

* * *

"Itachi," I whined, putting on my best pout.

He looked up from his poetry book (which _I_ gave to him) for a second, noted my pout, and then went back to scanning the lines of poetry.

"Hn," he muttered in acknowledgment.

"Don't you 'hn' me, mister! You promised!" I growled, all playfulness gone.

Sighing, he picked up his bookmark from the living room table and stuck it in the book. He then placed the book on his lap, and gave his undivided attention to me.

"Yes," he said, sounding just a tiny bit regretful. "I suppose I did. Let's go."

I jumped up from my place on the couch next to him and pumped my fists into the air, shouting, "Finally!"

You know how I said a while back (my most recent spar with Gills) that fire wasn't my best element? Well, guess who was about to teach me the secrets of mastering fire jutsu?

If you guessed a certain Uchiha Itachi, then give yourself a pat on the back and gold star, my friend, because you are _correct_.

I was pumped. No, more than that; I was _ecstatic_.

Here I was, hardly above-average Haruno Sakura, being taught by probably _the strongest_ Uchiha alive (I seriously doubted Sasuke was strong enough to get the upper-hand if these two were to have it out any time soon). The Uchiha clan was and will always be regarded as the most powerful fire-using shinobi clan of all time, and I was going to learn from one of them!

If you're not excited by now, just pretend, because, yeah, this is _that_ good.

It's like the best Christmas present _and_ the best birthday present an aspiring shinobi like myself could ever possibly wish for.

* * *

"Hn," Itachi mumbled for the umpteenth time.

I groaned in exasperation. "What am I doing wrong _this_ time, O Wise One?" I asked sarcastically.

"Your stance isn't spaced correctly, and you're breathing in from your chest, not your diaphragm. And that you're not hitting that Tiger sign at the right time, so it's messing you up."

I resisted the urge to stomp my feet and scream like a two year old.

"Again," he said, leaning back against the wall of the compound behind me while I faced the open yard once again.

'_Okay,'_ I thought to myself. _'Concentrate, Sakura! Feet spread a shoulder-width apart; rat, tiger, dog, ox, rabbit, tiger; breath in, and release!'_

I felt my chakra heating up in my chest and streaming in hot waves out of my mouth. I watched as the first flames took shape beyond my fingers…

And then they sputtered out, turning into pitiful sparks rather than the simple Phoenix Flower Jutsu.

Clenching my fists, I literally bit my tongue to keep from screaming in utter frustration.

I heard Itachi's slight intake of breath.

"_Don't_ you even think about saying 'hn', Uchiha!" I ground out angrily. I'd heard enough monosyllables from that overconfident jerk to last me at least three lifetimes. "I still don't see what I'm doing wrong!"

I heard him step closer to me. "It's still your stance."

"Yeah, well you said shoulder-width, and this is shoulder-width!" I griped.

He paused, deliberating. "I don't know how to describe the stance better than I already have. Perhaps…" He trailed off, a slight look of concentration crossing his face.

I furrowed my brows. What could he possibly be thinking?

Suddenly, his attention flashed back to me. "Again."

"…Okay…"

I turned back to the yard, away from Itachi, and proceeded to run through the steps in my head, carefully adjusting my stance _yet again_, and then started forming the first hand signs.

That is, until I felt his hands on my waist.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I yelled, startled. If it had been anyone else, I wouldn't have been so surprised. But this was freaking _Itachi_, of all people!

"Correcting your stance," he replied simply, innocently. I couldn't turn my head to see his face and gauge just how innocent his intentions were, so I tried to ignore his hands.

This was decidedly very hard to do.

"Any time now, Sakura," he said, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Oh, right. Sorry," I mumbled, mind fuzzy all of a sudden.

I allowed him to position my hips and feet into the correct stance, fighting back a blush as I felt one of his knees pull forward to space my legs apart farther. All the while, I kept reciting to myself like a mantra, _'He's trying to help, he's trying to help…'_

"Alright, first seal," he said, hands still resting on my hips. I could feel his breath on the nape of my neck, and I fought back the urge to shiver.

Rat. Tiger. Dog. Ox. Rabbit. Tiger. Breath in…

And release.

Surprisingly, a series of fist-sized flames shot out of my mouth and into the tree-line about fifty yards away.

My eyes widened in shock, watching the flames lick the bark of the targeted trees with awe.

"I did it," I whispered reverently.

"I did it!" I screamed happily, turning around to fling my arms around Itachi's neck.

I barely noticed the proud little smirk on his face when I leaned back to laugh excitedly.

"Yes, you did," he said calmly.

As he spoke, I realized how close our faces were; mere inches, really. Without even meaning to, my eyes zeroed in on his mouth. _So close._

His hands drew me a little closer, slowly, giving me a chance to back away, I realized. But I also realized that I didn't _want_ to.

So, still feeling the adrenaline rush, I lifted myself up on my toes and kissed him.

I'm still blaming it on the adrenaline; it's like a natural high. And… maybe I'm also blaming it on how good he smelled, like smoke and the forest and something else I couldn't quite place. Plus, you have to admit, he's pretty dang attractive.

We pulled apart slowly, and I noticed how he looked less withdrawn but still just a little unreachable.

And then I saw the slight twitch of the lips that signified a smirk (usually at my expense).

"What?" I asked.

"I'm not entirely certain that Leader would enjoy his forest burning down," he said, gesturing with a nod of his head towards the tree-line behind me.

Reality came crashing down like a ton of bricks. "Shit." (Hidan's been rubbing off on me, I'd say…)

After three water jutsu and 20 minutes of franticly running about like a headless chicken, the forest was no longer afire. I heard something suspiciously akin to a chuckle coming from the Uchiha at my antics, but I'm not sure whether I was hearing things or what. We went back inside, and I forced Itachi to promise to teach me more fire jutsu; he consented as long as I promised not to burn down the forest.

* * *

**_Enjoyed it? Review!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child-of-the-moon_**

**_XO_**


	18. Looks Like Rain and an Author's Note!

**_Woohoo! I'm updating! Betcha didn't think this would happen so soon! lol_**

**_This chapter is for _xXBlueDazeXx_. Hope you enjoy!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any characters found therein. That right goes to Kishimoto Masashi._**

**BIG SUPER EDIT!! PLEASE READ AND TRY NOT TO CRY, MY DEARS! TT____TT**

_My computer, my dear, dear computer... HAS A VIRUS, DAMMIT! FML~! Basically, I can't do anything. First, the internet didn't work. It kept coming up with this thing that said "Windows XP Antivirus Pro - Continuing to this site could be dangerous for your computer! Do you wish to go anyways? Download XP Antivirus Pro to prevent any hackers or malware from infecting your computer!"_

_:| Seriously? Frak you, XP Antivirus Pro! You stupid virus!!!1! Taking away my beloved interwebs... D':_

_Guh. I just wish stupid Fairpoint worked. Like, seriously, it does NOTHING for my computer. "Oh, hey! I'm gonna do a virus scan for ya! Just sit there for FIVE FRIGGEN HOURS and wait for the results! Which will always be YOU HAVE NOT A SINGLE VIRUS! NO WORRIES! :B"_

_Frak you as well, Fairpoint. Frak. You._

_(Shut up. It's better than dropping the REAL F'bomb...)_

_All in all, my computer isn't fixable. So then, how the hell are you on the interwebs, Jenn? Well, let me tell you. My mom does the video editing for our church, so she gets to bring home this nice fancy Mac laptop that DOESN'T HAVE MICROSOFT WORD. The only writing program it has is friggen TEXT EDIT. WHAT THE HELLLL._

_Basically, I'm just having this huge headdeskplz moment._

_FRAKKITY FRAK FRAKIN FRAK FRAKKKK._

_(admit it: that part right there made you laugh, or perhaps you only giggled. In any case, it was funny. Right? Right.)_

_Yeah. So. If there's ever a time when you're not sure why I'm not updating, you just may find your answer on my deviantART journal. I go on every day (except of course when I have absolutely NO COMPUTER TO UPDATE WITH). I haven't been on there in a couple days, so I've got, like, 30 messages and 130 deviations (estimating. I'm actually afraid to go on right now because of how high those numbers are. And knowing my inbox, they're pretty dang accurate guesses)._

_Sorry I can't update. I wish I could, but it looks like I'm gonna have to start afresh with a new computer unless someone can fix the damn thing. This whole mess has me so disgruntled. It's really rather ridiculous._

_So, until I DO get a chance to update, you'll have to survive on other fanfics. May I suggest Halcyon Redux by Paige O.o or Chaotic Waltz (by the same author)? They're both SasuSaku, but they're extremely well-written. You may enjoy them immensely. I know I do._

_Much love, my dears. Until I can update, this is a tearful farewell. TT_____TT See? I'm tearful._

_*Sniff*_

_Love you guys. :)  
_

* * *

The sun was shining through the trees, and judging by the angle the rays filtered through the limbs, I'd say it was around three in the afternoon.

Deidara and I had just finished a sparring session, where copious amounts of clay were used and exploded and the clearing we were currently resting in had developed a wider perimeter than it had mere hours ago.

We were lying on our backs, side by side. He had his hands behind his head, and I rested mine on my stomach. We were looking up at the sky, watching the birds as they flew overhead, probably judging the area a little safer now that the deafening explosions had ceased.

"Look, un," Deidara said, pointing suddenly up at a cloud coming into view. "That one looks sort of like a sparrow. See the tail?"

I nodded, smiling. "And that one," I said, pointing towards a different section of the sky. "That one looks like a bunny."

"No it doesn't," he argued. "It looks like a lion."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah, un."

I sighed, giving up.

I noticed his grin of victory out of the corner of my eye.

Seemingly out of the blue, Deidara sighed and said, "I sort of miss arguing with Sasori."

I felt a twinge of regret. That's the hardest part of being a ninja. You kill people, but you can't concentrate on who else you're affecting when you have to follow orders and get rid of your target. You basically have to de-humanize the whole thing.

And killing Sasori meant that I hurt Deidara.

"I don't blame you, though. Like you said, orders are orders. And he was a dick, un," he said, laughing slightly.

"What would you argue about?" I asked, turning to look at him.

He smiled. "About the meaning of true art. He'd say 'true beauty lasts forever'."

"But you don't agree?" I asked, slightly confused.

He turned and raised himself up on his elbow, watching me. "I don't. True beauty is found in that split-second before something is destroyed. You can't truly appreciate how beautiful something is until you watch it disappear. If something's always there, you never have the chance to miss it, to want it. If something's there one second and gone the next, you can reflect on it and see how precious it was just before it was lost forever."

I thought about what he said. It made sense.

"But," I countered. "What if, say, a painting was to suddenly disappear? You'd forget every small detail if it wasn't around for you to look at every day. You'd eventually forget it forever."

He smiled, shaking his head. "That's not true. You'd remember that it disappeared, wouldn't you? That's remembering that something beautiful existed, and it'd stay with you for the rest of your life."

"But isn't that like living forever? Like being eternal? That's what Sasori believed, right?" I asked.

He shook his head again. "No, un. Sasori was more materialistic. Why do you think he created all of those puppets? If he admired someone's jutsu, he took that person and made them into a puppet so he could keep them forever. He didn't want to just _remember_ that they had a specific skill; he wanted to _own_ that skill."

I soaked this information up like a sponge. I had never been very artistic myself, but this new knowledge about Deidara made me appreciate him more as a person, not just a shinobi.

"You really like art, don't you, Deidara?" I asked, somewhat rhetorically.

"Art isn't just about liking or disliking," he replied.

I looked at him questioningly.

He lay back down, folding his arms behind his head and turned his attention back to the sky. "It's a passion. Saying you like art is just telling someone that it's a hobby or a passing interest. For me, it's a passion."

* * *

We relaxed in the grass for about an hour after that, until I pointed up at a particularly ominous cloud moving in rather quickly.

"That one looks like a thundercloud," I stated intelligently.

"I'd have to agree, un," Deidara replied.

I calculated that we'd have to start running for the compound within the next thirty seconds or risk being drenched. "I think we should go back," I said, standing up.

Deidara did nothing except close his eyes and smile softly.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was the most innocent guy in the whole world with that expression.

But I did know better, and that look meant that he was trying to hide the fact that he was considering something particularly devious.

"Deidara, come on," I said a little more urgently, looking up at the dark cloud. I could feel the temperature dropping and the wind picking up. The humidity level started to rise, making the air seem thicker than it was earlier.

Still, he didn't move.

"Deidara," I said sternly. "Get. Up."

It was then that he opened his eyes, and looked at me with the most serious expression I'd ever seen on him. He opened his mouth to speak…

"I'm not moving until you kiss me, Sakura."

I froze. _That_ had not been what I expected him to say.

The whole world seemed to get darker as the cloud approached, and the sudden decrease in light woke me up. "Hell, no. Now get up and let's go, Deidara," I insisted, holding out my hand as an offer to help him up.

He shook his head. "I'm serious, un. Kiss me, and I'll go back with you."

I started to say that I could just leave him and run back myself when the rain started. I could hear it coming through the trees, hitting the leaves farther off, and then rushing towards us like a wave.

Just as it started raining on us, he said, "You wouldn't leave me. You know that I'm serious. I'll stay out here all night, if I have to. And then I'll get sick and die and it'd be your fault for being too much of a prude to just give me a simple, little kiss."

I frowned, already soaked to the bone. He had a point, though. If he stayed out here like he said he would, he'd end up catching pneumonia or something worse.

Inner picked that moment to start griping at me, saying, 'Come on! What's the worst that could happen if you kissed him? He's kissed you before.'

I proceeded to mentally punch her (don't ask how; you'd have to have an Inner yourself to know how it's done) and then, reluctantly, knelt down on the ground beside him.

I put my arms on either side of his shoulders, leaned forward, and said, "Don't you even think that you can do this again, Deidara. I'm only doing this to save me the trouble of wasting my chakra on you."

He grinned, said something to the effect of "yeah, whatever", and pulled my face to his, kissing me gently at first, and then more heatedly. I gave in, ignoring the warning voice in the back of my head (which wasn't Inner, it was my conscience, there is a difference), and forgot about the rain. I felt his left hand slide down to my waist where my skin was showing, and the mouth in that hand proceeded to trail kisses across my hip. It was a strange sensation, but I concentrated more on trying to remember how to breathe.

I brought one of my hands up to his face, brushing his bangs back from his eye and the scope that he kept in place there. Pulling back, I opened my eyes and noticed the slightly triumphant, if a little hazy, expression in his one visible blue eye. He smiled.

"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked.

I frowned, smacked his chest and got up, forcing him to release his hold on my hip.

"Let's go, before we both catch pneumonia," I said, trying to seem unaffected.

He jumped up and grabbed my hand, interlacing his fingers with mine as we ran back to the compound together.

The next morning, we both woke with 'the sniffles', as my mom would call them, and sore throats. I healed myself, and left him to suffer; at this he called me a 'heartless bitch', but grinned triumphantly at the same time. I blushed and ignored him.

* * *

**_Hope you enjoyed. I couldn't really figure out how to 'end' this chapter, so I hope the way I did was alright. :)_**

**_Also, check out _LittleLambR.H._'s fanart she did for chapter 17! -- .com/art/Living-A-Lie-151400282_**

**_Please review!_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child-of-the-moon_**

**_XO_**


	19. Worrying

_**Hello, dear readers! Good grief, I've missed Word.**_**_ I'm not sure whether you remembered or not, but my computer had a virus, I couldn't get on the internet, and so I had to use my mom's laptop. Which didn't have Word. It only had TextEdit. WTF. Consequently, I couldn't work on this fic (or anything, for that matter), until the computer was fixed. I only just got it back, and just finished writing this chapter yesterday. My beta (YOU ARE AWESOME, ERICA) was able to finish editing this chapter and return it to me this morning, so I'm super happy. :)_**

**_Anywho, this chapter isn't really fluffy until the end. It's basically a filler, but I figured until I got a better idea I'd have to deal with this. Hope you all don't mind. :)_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or any characters found therein. Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto  
_**

* * *

An unnatural breeze started moving the hangers in my closet late one night. I was jolted from my reading at the sound of the metal clothes hangers bouncing off of each other behind the closed doors of my closet.

I dog-eared my page, placed the book down on the desk beside me and silently padded over to the double doors. Glancing around and quickly checking to make sure no one was near my room, I opened the doors.

Receiving a message via wind jutsu is always strange; you can feel the soft stirring of air around your face, but there is no sound. Once the message is relayed, sounding like the sender is right there whispering into your ear even though no one else can hear it, the wind stops completely, and the air is still again.

I crouched on the floor of my closet, listening intently as the wind relayed Tsunade-shishou's message. She said that Naruto has been sneaking out of the village, or at least trying to, in hopes that he might find me and bring me back. Though ANBU had found him within hours each time (I wondered exactly how many times he'd run off), Tsunade was a little worried about Naruto finding out more than he should if he were to successfully sneak away. After all, he wasn't the 13 year old goof-ball we all remembered him being. He was nearly at jounin level, and as such fully capable of stealth if he put his mind to it.

I frowned at this thought as Tsunade whispered a soft farewell and the wind ceased. Things were going to get a lot harder if Naruto got too involved. I hated to think that I might be assigned to help Itachi and Kisame track down and capture my best friend.

* * *

"Hidan told me he saw you wearing that underwear he bought for you, Pinky," Kisame said with his usual predatory grin.

I stopped dead in the path. Kisame and Itachi, noticing that I wasn't beside them anymore, stopped and turned to look at me. Was that a smirk on Itachi's face?

Truth be told, I had worn the underwear that Hidan got me for Christmas, but only because they were the only pair that weren't in the laundry!

"Screw you, Fish-face. Both of you wipe those smirks off your ugly faces before I wipe them off for you," I threatened, and to my great pleasure, they both sobered up pretty quickly. I returned to my spot between the two of them and said, "I believe the terminology for this situation would be 'you've been whipped'."

Kisame kept his mouth shut, and Itachi, silent as ever, avoided eye contact. Point proven? I'd say so.

We were headed towards Iwa, where rumors of the six tails were running rampant. Pain had ordered me to team up with Itachi and Kisame while Deidara was recovering. He had attempted to perform a sneak attack on the aforementioned jinchuuriki (what Deidara's version of a 'sneak attack' was would be anyone's guess), and ended up severely injured. He was lucky that Tobi knew this random time/space ninjutsu that basically teleported him wherever he wanted in a matter of seconds. I wasn't able to heal him completely, but I got the worst of the injuries taken care of. Plus, Pain said not wasting all of my chakra on his extensive injuries should serve as a lesson to him, in the hopes that he wouldn't be so reckless in the future.

Silly Leader. Reckless is Deidara's middle name. And his last name. And his first. "Deidara" is only his nickname, which was given to him by his parents in the hopes that he would grow up to be a little less reckless.

All three of us stopped at the same time. A tiny flare of familiar chakra had jolted me from my musings. My guess was Itachi and Fish-Face had sensed it as well, judging by the way their shoulders tensed and all earlier traces of amusement were tucked away for later. Now their eyes glinted with the battle-hardened stoicism all shinobi developed if they lived long enough.

Me? I was frozen in shock. That flash of chakra was painfully familiar; I'd recognize it anywhere.

Sasuke.

"We need to leave," Itachi stated blandly, but I didn't miss the way his shoulders tensed more than normal.

"What, you don't want to kick your brother's ass again?" Kisame chuckled.

I blinked at the totally blasé tone Kisame used. I had heard about those brief fights from Naruto, and I knew they were never pretty. And now that I'd given Itachi half a chance, I could see that he wasn't exactly the battle-hungry type everyone made him out to be.

"Not today. I'd rather get this mission over with without having to waste any of Sakura's chakra," Itachi replied, voice calm and collected (what's new?).

He caught my quizzical gaze. "My eyes," he offered as explanation. "That, and I'm sure Sasuke's strong enough to at least leave a few scratches."

Kisame snickered. I frowned.

"Let's go, then. To the trees?" I suggested.

* * *

I collapsed onto the couch in the living room. "Good grief, I didn't know that ritual lasted so long!" I whined.

"It's a pain in the ass, but at least it's over for now," Hidan said tiredly, flopping down onto one of the recliners and covering his eyes with one of his arms. I could tell he was especially tired because he only swore once; and it was a relatively mild cuss word, too.

My stomach growled, and before I could even think about standing up to go fix a sandwich, Kakuzu was handing me a tuna sandwich, cut diagonally, just the way I liked it.

I smiled in thanks, taking the proffered food, and settled tiredly into the couch, while Kakuzu took one of the other recliners and relaxed into the soft cushions.

Deidara limped into the room holding two sandwiches in one hand and a glass of water in the other. He sat down to my left and sighed wearily. "Those sealing rituals sure take a long time, un."

"Mmhmm," I mumbled in assent, munching happily on my sandwich. I was so exhausted that I barely registered Itachi sitting on my other side with his own sandwich and a cup of tea. I also hardly noticed Kisame come in and sit at my feet, resting his head on the small space of cushion between Itachi's and my knees.

I looked around after I finished my sandwich and found the others in various stages of exhaustion all around the room. Tobi was lying down on the floor, fiddling with the remote and flicking from channel to channel.

"Pick a damn channel and stay with it, Tobi," Kisame grumbled. Tobi stopped his finger millimeters from the button and left it there. I chuckled sleepily.

While everyone was either asleep or watching the television, I sat still and reflected on what I'd learned. Tsunade-shishou would like to hear about how the Akatsuki extract the bijuu from the hosts. It could be a valuable playing piece in bringing down this organization.

This got me thinking about what it would be like to watch Naruto, suspended in midair, suffer through three days of the painful extraction ceremony. He would be helpless to stop it, just like the others before him.

Watching that boy (he couldn't have been more than eighteen), with his pain-filled honey-brown eyes, screaming in pain… It was the worst thing I'd seen in a long, long time. I forced myself to keep from replacing the black hair with blond, the brown eyes with blue, and the pale white skin with sun-tanned bronze.

I had to close my eyes really hard to keep the tears from coming to the surface. If I cried in front of these guys, they'd know something was up. They would suspect me of not being exactly who I had them believe I was.

I felt a decidedly male arm wrap around my shoulders in a sideways hug. Crap.

"The first time is the worst," I heard Itachi say softly. "It was for all of us."

That made me open my eyes to see his expression. His face was turned away from mine, facing the television. His expression was passive and nonchalant, as per usual; but his eyes, when they flicked in my direction, were the softer, compassionate eyes of the real Itachi. The eyes that he hid from everyone so he could stay detached.

I smiled. "Thanks."

I leaned my head back on his shoulder and closed my eyes, allowing myself to be lulled into a well-deserved sleep.

* * *

_**I'll try to have the next chapter done soon, but no promises. One never knows when a virus will strike next...**_

**_Please review! I love reading your feedback!_**

**_As always, much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO  
_**


	20. Foxes and Missions and Bears, Oh My!

_**Hey all!**_****

**_So, heads up: this chapter has... no fluff. Seriously. :| I figured it was time to have a semi-serious chapter, maybe explaining what I thought some odd-jobs would be that Sakura would receive from Pain. _**

**_Sorry if you don't like that, but dealing with scholarships and the whole graduating thing doesn't really leave much room for creative, semi-romantic/fluffy writing. :| My brain's scrambled. lol_**

**_Hope you all like this chapter anyways. I had yet another virus, but this time it was quickly and efficiently taken care of. I hope to have a fluff-filled chapter next, but no promises. _**

**_Loving your reviews! Special thanks to ..CHoMP. for kicking me in the arse and reminding me to keep it up. lol I'm hoping for maybe a special chapter or something for my 300th review, but it's a tentative plan._**

**_Enjoy! :D  
_**

* * *

I glanced at the address printed on a small, torn piece of paper, and then stared at the matching apartment numbers next to a plain oak door.

What was the guy's name again? Kuri? Kumi?

I knocked on the door. I heard footsteps trudging across a carpeted floor to reach the door. From the sound of it, this agent I was supposed to meet with was a rather large man…

The door was opened. Once again, I found myself at chest-height.

I tilted my head back to look at the man's face, when the name hit me: Kuma, meaning 'bear'.

Certainly a fitting name for such a freaking huge guy, seriously. I mean, his muscles had muscles! And even though I've got one helluva right hook, this guy intimidated me without even saying anything.

"Akatsuki?" He asked quietly, his deep baritone practically vibrating the floor beneath my feet.

I nodded once and said, "I'm Sakura. Pain-sama sent me to ask you a few questions and give you an assignment, if you don't mind, Kuma-san."

He grinned, all teeth, and ushered me inside. "Of course not; anything for the man that freed Rain from those tyrants." He closed the door after I had stepped inside.

Kuma's apartment was small, but not uncomfortably so. I supposed it just looked really small because he was so big. He led me to a sparsely decorated kitchenette and offered a seat.

"What did you mean by 'tyrants' earlier?" I asked.

He blinked at me, somewhat shocked. I began to worry that I'd seriously screwed up and blown my cover to some random Akatsuki agent, but then he spoke.

"Didn't you know that Pain-sama and Angel-sama defeated Sanshouuo no Hanzou?" he asked, awed at my apparent lack of knowledge in that department.

I pointed to my slashed headband. "Ex-Leaf. They didn't teach this in the Academy; so no, I have no idea."

"Figures," Kuma replied. Sighing at the depressing state of shinobi education, he explained, "Hanzou was pretty much Rain's dictator for quite a while. During the Ninja War, most of Rain's shinobi were either killed or became nuke-nin. In short, Pain-sama and Angel-sama stopped him and brought Rain up to an even greater level than it has ever been. No other countries have been able to take over since then."

"Wow. I knew he was powerful, but I didn't ever think about how Rain became independent from the other countries. I remember learning about Rain being used as a battleground for the other nations, but I didn't know what happened after." We sat in silence, pondering our impromptu history lesson.

After a moment, Kuma looked up from the table. "You said Pain-sama had some questions for me?"

I nodded, and thought back to my mission briefing. "First off, he wanted to know why you were living outside of Rain. He said that he could easily prepare a nicer place for you, plus, as an agent of Akatsuki, you'd get better protection in a village that actually supports and understands our goals."

Kuma laughed. "Actually, I left because my aunt was sick and needed someone to look after her."

Unbidden, the picture of this 6-foot-something bear of a man standing over a stove stirring a pot of chicken noodle soup came to my mind. I schooled my face into a neutral expression before I could so much as let out a snort of laughter. "Is she better?" I asked.

Kuma frowned slightly, and said, "I suppose she's better off; not suffering, I'd hope. She died a couple weeks back. The medic I brought her to for the autopsy said that it was a severe case of the flu, but I didn't think she was weak enough that it'd kill her."

I nodded. "You'd be surprised by how many people die from that. I'm sorry for your loss."

There was another pregnant pause.

"Okay, that answers that. He also wanted to know if you were still keeping an eye on your target," I asked.

Kuma nodded. "Yep. You can tell Pain-sama that he's been moving between borders and getting closer to where we're expecting him. He should be happy about that, I'd think."

I nodded. "And also if you had heard any news of progress on that jutsu…?" I asked, repeating Pain's words verbatim and remaining utterly lost about the real question.

"No, it's still giving them difficulty, but they hope to have it in a more workable stage within the next few weeks." He looked at my face as I committed his answer to memory. I looked up as he laughed loudly.

"He didn't tell you anything about any of these questions, did he?" he asked, mirth shining in his pale blue eyes.

I gave him a lopsided smile and replied, "Nope. Not a word. He just told me to―"

"―Repeat what he says and don't worry about it, right?" he said, laughing.

"…Yeah. How did you know?"

"I had the same job as you quite a few years ago. I got sent to various clients and other agents and asked questions and gave out assignments just like you're doing now. Speaking of which," he said, trailing off purposefully.

I took the hint, and handed him a sealed scroll. "He asked that you report to him as soon as you can. Other than that, I'm done here."

"Thanks, Sakura. I'll be sure to report to Pain-sama as soon as I can." We stood up and Kuma showed me to the door. After a brief farewell, he closed the door, and I walked down the stairwell to the front door of the apartment. Now to get back to the checkpoint so I could meet up with Kakuzu…

I stopped dead in my tracks and pulled up the hood of my non-Akatsuki cloak (thank God I had left that back at the base). Making sure my chakra was completely masked, I took to the roofs, avoiding the painfully familiar blonde spikes and blue eyes of my best friend on the street below.

How coincidental, that Naruto would be in the same random town outside Rain that I was in. That kid was a lot smarter than he let on, and I was glad that he wasn't as good at detecting chakra as some people were. He hadn't noticed me. As soon as I was far enough away, I stopped and sent a quick message to Tsunade stating Naruto's location and could she please retrieve him because it was seriously impeding on my mission, thank you, miss you very much.

I met up with Kakuzu later and we both managed to make it back to our base in Rain without Naruto realizing he had been so close to finding me and one step closer to bringing Team 7 together again.

* * *

_**Don't forget to press that 'review' button!**_

_**By the way, did anyone else freak out when they noticed that it changed? Because I totally did. lol**_

_**As always,**_

_**Much love!**_

_**child_of_the_moon**_

_**XO  
**_


	21. Let's Go Shopping, Kakuzu!

_**Warning! Extremely long author's note dead ahead!**_

_**DISCLAIMER (AND **__**SPOILER ALERT!!**__**): I don't own Naruto or any characters therein. Go find Kishimoto and riot outside his front door about how he's been killing off the Akatsuki and allowing Orichibuto to steal their bodies. :| Jenn is NOT amused.**_

_**Head's up, this chapter's short, too. :( Sorry beloved and devoted readers.**_

_**But! Any KakuSaku fans out there reading this? Hee… I actually enjoyed writing this KakuSaku scene better than the other one. I'm personally not much of a fan, but I wasn't creeped out by this one, at least.**_

_**Enjoy!! :D**_

_**Oh yeah. Another thing about this chapter: there's a big difference between this one and all the ones I've written previously…**_

_**I'm writing it from my brand spanking-new laptop!! You have NO IDEA how excited I am. Lol It's amazing.**_

_**Anyways, continue. ;)**_

_**

* * *

**_

"Well," I said, looking around the new base. "On the inside, this place looks… exactly like the other one." I frowned, decidedly unimpressed with Pain's fashionable sense of decorum (or lack thereof).

I mean, seriously! Different building, different setting, different style as far as the exterior. That would lead anyone to believe that the interior was different, am I right?

Apparently, I'm the only one in this lot who thought it was stupid.

"Whatever," Hidan had said, heading off into his room. Wanna know how I knew it was his room he was heading off towards? I don't care if you don't, because I'll tell you whether you want me to or not.

You walk in, right? Front door leads to a hallway, hallway leads to living room on one side, kitchen and dining room on the other, separated by a wall and a door-less doorway. Past that, there's another hallway with four doors on one side, five on the other. At the end of _that_ hallway, there's a door that, when opened, reveals a staircase that goes up a couple flights to Leader's office and rooms. I'm guessing Konan's rooms are up there too, but I'm not sure since I've never been past the office. Maybe it's like Tobi says and they're an "item".

Anyways, you could probably tell once you've lived with this group that Hidan's room is on the left side of the second hallway, fourth door down, closest to the stairway.

"Where's the variety? Hasn't he ever heard that 'variety is the spice of life'? I mean, come on! _Same exact layout_!" I whined to Kisame, who, like Hidan, decided he didn't really care and didn't know why it bugged me so much.

"Same layout means same escape routes and same places where we _know_ we can defend ourselves if the need comes up," he explained while shouldering his pack and heading towards _his_ room, third door on the right, which was closest to the bathroom (second door on the right).

I huffed, and decided I might as well go put my stuff away; my room was the first on the left, across from Itachi's and next to Deidara's. Zetsu's room was after Kisame's (so fourth door on the right); Kakuzu's was the last on the right, across from Hidan's; Tobi's was between Deidara's and Hidan's.

'Well,' Inner said, 'at least we still don't have to deal with Hidan's legendary snoring, right?'

I nodded at that; one positive to a whole group of unimaginative negatives. No sense of style, I swear!

"There _is_ one huge difference about this base that you might enjoy, un," Deidara said while standing in my doorway, hands behind his head.

I looked up from unpacking my pitifully small collection of belongings. "And what would that be?" I asked, curious. If there was one difference about this base, even if it was a teeny tiny one, I would gladly go check it out. Something to monopolize my time (when I wasn't out on missions) besides eating, sparring, reading, or watching the television would be quite welcome.

Deidara walked up to me and looked over my shoulder at my semi-unpacked stuff. "You wouldn't happen to have a bathing suit in that pile of crap, would you?" he asked dubiously.

I peeked over my shoulder to see his expression. "Why do you ask?"

He straightened up and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking up at my ceiling and feigning boredom. "Oh, I dunno, un." He turned his eyes down from the ceiling and looked at me from the corner of them. "Maybe, since this base is in a nice, secluded space in the Land of Water, there might be a lake nearby…"

I swear, my eyes nearly bugged out of my skull. "Where's the nearest village? I need a bathing suit."

Deidara laughed.

* * *

"Okay, Tobi. What about this one?"

Tobi stopped looking at the bathing suits lined up on the rack and turned to look at me. "Tobi likes it! Very pretty, and it brings out Sakura-chan's hair and eyes!" Tobi exclaimed, clapping his hands in a decidedly happy-schoolboy manner.

"Kakuzu?" I asked.

He turned from staring at the price tags on the perfume bottles to look at me in my bright green bikini.

"Too expensive," he said curtly, and turned around again after eyeing the pink and orange retro designs on the suit I was wearing. He looked about ready to have a stroke.

"What? It is _not_! It's only-- holy cheese. Never mind." I returned to the dressing room, shut the door, and proceeded to paw through Tobi's and my other choices, tossing the ones that cost equal to or more than the suit I was currently wearing.

Soon, I found that I was left with nothing. "Come _on_!"

I heard Tobi rush to the stall door, and could picture him waving his arms about in a rather comical manner while jumping from one foot to the other. "What's wrong, Sakura-chan?!" he cried.

I could hear him jumping from one foot to the other, and the frantic swishing sound on the other side of the door was probably him waving his arms about like a fool.

Deciding not to hold back my irritated sigh, I exhaled in a most annoyed and loud fashion. "According to Kakuzu, _every _suit you and I picked out is too expensive! He's so stingy!"

I nearly died of fright when I heard his deep voice on the other side of the stall door. "I am not stingy, Sakura. I'm merely trying to instill in you an appreciation for the price and actual _value_ of things. Also, I don't want to pay for something you'll only wear while we're at this base for only Leader knows how long and then never wear again. It's a waste of my money."

I blinked. "Must I repeat? Stingy. That one really looked good on me."

I heard him sigh quietly, and I became very worried that he would reach over the top of the stall with his tentacle-string-things and snap my neck. I've seen him do so to Hidan, and I'm not immortal.

After a few silent, anxious moments, I heard Kakuzu's footsteps come back to the door. How had I not heard him leave? Oh, right. Probably because my heart was the only thing I could hear. That, and Inner screaming rather profane words in my head about how I've doomed us both and that Kakuzu would kill us without warning.

I saw his hand reach over the top of the stall door.

'Oh, dear God! That thing's detachable, I've seen it!' Inner squealed in terror. 'We're all gonna die!'

The bathing suit that he held over the door effectively put the proverbial cork in her imaginary mouth.

"Are you going to take it, or what?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

I reached up tentatively, still not sure if I could trust him _not_ to kill me. A finger brushed the smooth fabric, and when he didn't move, I snatched it.

"Thanks," I said, holding it up in front of me. He pulled away and mumbled what sounded like, "finally, someone who knows how to be grateful."

The suit was a little more conservative than the others: it was a white- and green-striped halter top cut off and fitted a few inches above my belly button, with solid green boy-short style bottoms with a white waistband. There were little white tropical flowers on the green parts, and little green flowers on the white.

I put it on, looked in the mirror, and grinned. This one fit my style the best. For one not as… shall we say 'gifted'… in the breast department, it showed off my tom-boy side as well as my girly side. I really liked it. I looked at the price tag, and found not one, but _three_ different clearance stickers on it. Each markdown, in the end, added up to a staggering 90% off the original price.

Geez, that guy sure knew how to bargain shop!

I stepped out of the stall to show it off.

Tobi clapped more enthusiastically than the last ten or so times I had done the same pose in different suits, which made me wonder if he was actually being honest all those times I had asked, 'does this one look alright?' or 'does this one make my butt look big?'

Kakuzu looked at me for a while, and I squirmed inwardly under his intensely calculating stare. Did it look okay? Was it really as good as I had thought it was? Was that a _blush_ I saw creeping up from under his mask?!

He looked away before I did, walked up to the cashier and said, "I'll take it."

No haggling, no threatening, no nothing.

Which all made me wonder, did I look _that_ good in this thing?

* * *

_**Well, there's some microscopic KakuSaku fluff for you. Didn't see it? It's right there, right… I lost it. Wait! There it is! It's really small, but it's definitely there.**_

_**Lol Yeah, I'm mean. I had been hoping for some more fluff, but my muse has decided it's not quite time for that yet. Next chapter will have the lake scene, so that's prime material for some flirting and teasing, and hopefully some cute, fluffy… well, fluff.**_

_**Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it was short, but I plan to build it up some more next chapter.**_

_**As always:**_

_**Much love,**_

_**child_of_the_moon**_

_**XO**_


	22. Fun in the Sun, Torment in the Water

_**Hey all! This one is hella long! Nine pages and just over 3,000 words! Do I love you, or what? Hee~**_

_**Hokai, so heads up HidaSaku or KisaSaku haters: there's a small HidaSaku scene and a decidedly bigger KisaSaku scene, so don't read it if you don't like it. Don't say I didn't warn you.**_

_**I like how this one came out, and you can tell things are getting a tad more mature considering **_**I'm**_** worrying about getting nosebleeds, and I'm the authoress! Lol**_

_**Anyways, hope you enjoy!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or any characters found therein. This fic, however, is very much my idea, so there. :P

* * *

**_

Apparently, I _did_ look pretty good in that suit. It was either that, or Deidara was shocked at the colors or something because he _would not_ take his eyes off of me when I showed up at the lakeside with my suit on and a towel and bottle of sunscreen in my hand.

Kisame popped up out of the water somewhere off in the distance and wolf-whistled in my general direction. Itachi looked up from the book he was reading in the shade of the trees and stared for a good twenty or so seconds before determinedly returning his gaze to the novel. I was pretty sure I saw some pink on his cheeks, because he's too damn pale to just allow himself to sunbathe. He'd end up with a sunburn, and if I knew one thing about either of the Uchiha boys, it was that they hated looking less than immaculate.

Tobi popped out of the sand, having been buried up to his neck by Deidara sometime before I had arrived, and, shouting an exuberant 'hello', he pranced over to take my free hand and pulled me closer to where his and Deidara's towels were laid out. I found it odd that he was still wearing his mask while wearing his swimming trunks, because one would think that a mask would make swimming a little weird…

I guess I was wrong. Tobi jumped up into the overhanging branches of a tree and cannon-balled into the lake, screaming in excitement the whole way down.

Shaking my head, I turned and set my towel down on the sand. At that very moment, I felt chills creeping up my spine; I couldn't sense any chakra, but I just _knew_ someone was behind me. I spun around, eyes wide and fists clenched, only to find Zetsu silently stepping out of a tree.

Yes, you read that right. _Out of_ a tree, not out from _behind_ a tree.

"Scare ya, Sakura?" he asked.

"Our apologies," he continued, voice deeper and considerably more respectful, perhaps sounding a tad annoyed at his other half's lack of consideration for others.

Blinking at the bi-colored ninja, I inwardly laughed at myself. I'd been with the Akatsuki for how long now? And I was still freaked out whenever Zetsu spoke like he wasn't just one person.

Maybe he wasn't…

"You look great," he said in his lighter, more laid-back tone.

Smiling at him (them?), I said 'thanks' and sat down on my towel. I grabbed the bottle of sunscreen and was just about to squeeze some of it into my hand when I felt someone sit behind me. Turning to look over my shoulder, I saw Hidan settling into a comfortable position on my towel and reaching towards my hand. I started to wonder what the heck he thought he was doing, until I felt him remove the sunscreen bottle from my grasp.

"Quit your damn gawking, woman," he griped, squirting nearly half the bottle into his hand.

"Are you…?" I started to ask if he was seriously going to be putting sunscreen on me so I wouldn't have to, but then I figured that'd make him second guess his decision to be _nice_ for once in his life.

"What?" he asked, rubbing his hands together. His purple eyes stared into mine with no hints of malice or teasing. He was seriously being genuinely nice to me.

'Has Hell frozen over?' Inner asked, as dazed and awestruck as I was. 'Is the world ending, and Wave just hasn't gotten the memo?'

Hidan reached his hands out and started rubbing the sunscreen into my shoulders. Deciding he wasn't going to suddenly say 'syke!' and do something that would undoubtedly embarrass and/or maim me, I faced forward once again and allowed my muscles to relax under his careful ministrations.

I felt his calloused hands make smooth, soothing circles down my shoulder blades, along my spine, over the back of my rib cage.

"You know, you're actually pretty good at this," I said, closing my eyes as I felt my muscles relaxing even further.

He snorted half-heartedly. "Don't sound so fuckin' surprised. Of course I'm good at this," he responded, lifting up the back of the suit to rub the lotion where the sun _might_ hit it. He was being pretty thoughtful, surprisingly.

His hands moved up to my neck, one gently holding my hair away from my skin while the other slowly rubbed the sunscreen into my skin.

My mind was just going blank; it was so comfortably _warm_ outside, and feeling his strong hands on my skin in a completely _non_-sexual manner was just… really, really enjoyable.

That is, it _was_ completely non-sexual until I felt his fingers sliding down over my stomach. I was absolutely _positive_ he had crossed the line between being nice and being a total pervert.

So, when his hands started inching provocatively upwards underneath my suit, I did the only logical thing a girl _would _do if she was being felt up:

I turned around and sent him flying into the tree line. When I heard him emit a sound that sounded like something halfway between a groan of pain and a laugh, I yelled, "Pervert!" and snatched the sunscreen bottle from where he'd left it on my towel.

Scowling in a very scary way (at least, _I_ thought I looked scary), I squeezed some more sunscreen into my hand and proceeded to rub it onto my skin where Hidan hadn't had a chance to cover.

That's what I get for trusting a pretty-boy Akatsuki, I guess.

* * *

I was awakened by water dripping onto my face a while later.

Cringing from the cold droplets, I squinted and focused on Kisame's looming face.

"What the hell was that for, Fish Face?" I asked, rather irritated at being woken up in such a cruel manner when I had been enjoying sleeping in the sunshine.

"Are you gonna come out and swim, or what? They're not called bathing suits for nothing, you know," he said, laughing. He was probably the happiest I had ever seen him; water must put him in a better mood or something…

"Fine," I huffed. Grabbing his proffered hand, I reluctantly lifted myself from the towel and followed him out to the lake.

He let go of my hand to get a running start to jump into the water, and when he returned to the surface and saw that I hadn't even put a toe in, he yelled, "Hurry up, Pinky! Don't make me drag you out here, 'cause you know I will." He grinned, all pointy teeth, and laid back in the water, waiting for me to start wading in.

Sighing, I forced myself to move forward. Now that I had gotten accustomed to the warmth of the sun, I really didn't want to subject myself to the suddenly frigid temperature of the water.

I inched forward. 'Baby steps, Sakura,' Inner said. I told her to shut up.

My toes hit the water first, and I recoiled. "This water's too cold!" I shouted at Kisame's laughing form, which was further out than I had previously thought.

I turned around and started to walk back to the nice, warm, comfortable towel when I heard Kisame yell, "Wimp!"

The next thing I knew, his chakra signature was _directly_ behind me, and when I started to run back to the safety of the beach, he said, "Oh, no you don't!" and picked me up from behind before I had a chance to say anything to stop him.

I started kicking and yelling at him to put me down _right _now because this was _so_ not funny, when he started running out onto the water until I was sure we were nearly halfway out into the lake.

He repositioned me in his arms so that he was holding me bridal style so I could see his face and he could see mine. They say, when you're fighting, you can tell what your opponent is thinking by the way they move. Well, I figured out what he was planning on doing and _still_ couldn't stop him from grinning like the shark that he is and throwing me up in the air and into the decidedly chilly lake.

The sudden cold nearly made me inhale in shock, but I quickly remembered that breathing and water don't exactly mix, so I started kicking and clawing my way to the surface to give Kisame a very big piece of my mind…

Only to find that Kisame was no where in sight.

My heart nearly stalled.

I knew that he was abnormally adept in the aquatic environment, and because of this, I had this horrible feeling that he would use this to his advantage and scare the ever-loving crap out of me.

I told myself to calm the hell down when I noticed that I was breathing rapidly, and I looked around the dark water to pinpoint any movement.

He chakra was masked, ergo I couldn't sense him that way.

I was pretty much a sitting duck.

I looked towards the shores, and found that the rest of the guys were specks in the distance. No one would be able to help me now.

The water stirred near my feet, and I shrieked and pulled my feet closer to my body. Frantically, I stared down to where I had felt the disturbance, only to find the seemingly endless darkness that extended an unknown distance to the lakebed.

'Well,' Inner suggested desperately, 'maybe it was just a fish?'

I groaned and inwardly replied, 'He practically _is_ a fish. A very large, obnoxious fish-man.'

I spun around in the water in slow, calm circles, searching for said fish-man.

Something brushed up against my foot for a split (very deliberate) second.

I screamed and kicked away from that general area. If there's one thing I hate about being in water over my head, it's that you can't see anything beneath you. What if it wasn't Kisame after all? How big do fish get in lakes like this in Wave Country? Do they have alligators here? I could lose a foot! What good is a single-footed ninja?

A hand sliding across my bare waist effectively shook me from my increasingly hysterical thoughts. Goosebumps traveled all over my skin when the hand moved away, and I shivered, completely freaked out.

"Kisame! Stop that, you jerk!" I shouted at the water around me.

Nothing happened. The water stopped stirring around me, and I had the distinct feeling that, even though it _seemed_ like he was done, he most likely wasn't.

Calm breaths, Sakura. Think. Look around, see if you can spot him.

I looked around, couldn't find him.

If you can't feel his chakra, swim towards shore as fast as you can.

I paused, reaching out and trying to feel his chakra somewhere, _any_where.

Nothing.

So I prepared myself to swim as hard and as fast as I could. Taking a deep breath, I moved to kick forward when I felt a hand close tightly around my ankle. Before I could even scream for help, I was pulled under.

I tried wrenching my legs free from his grasp, but we were in _his_ element now, so Kisame had the upper hand. I felt his other hand attach itself to my wrist, and then the first hand came up to grab my waist. Opening my eyes, I could just make out his grinning face past the bubbles all of my struggling was making.

I really didn't like that look… I had a bad feeling that he wasn't going to let me go anytime soon, and my lungs wouldn't last as long as his.

'Way to go!' Inner griped nervously. 'You just _had_ to be a wimp and not go in on your own! Now we're gonna _drown_, moron!'

I glared, both at her and at Kisame (quite a feat, I tell you). His grin just grew wider, and I knew for sure that he was hell-bent on scaring the crap out of me. Or drowning me. Same difference, as far as he's concerned.

It wasn't until my lungs started burning that I _really _started freaking out. I looked pointedly up towards the oxygen-rich air above, down to my ensnared wrists, and back to Kisame's face. I knew that he understood it, because he shook his head and (if it was even _possible_) his grin grew even wider. How the hell could his lungs still be fine? I had good endurance, but apparently that was _nothing_ compared to him. The only thing I could hear was my heart pounding frantically, the poor organ futilely hoping to receive more oxygen in the blood it was pushing out to the rest of my body.

My heart nearly stopped altogether when I saw his grin disappear, and his face was a little more serious, but still retained his typical joking attitude.

I felt one of his hands slowly slide up from my wrist to my neck, fingers intertwined with my hair. The other hand, still holding my waist, pulled me towards his body.

I started to struggle, but he gave me this look that told me to just relax and _trust_ him. Under normal circumstances, I think I would've ignored his silent suggestion and continued kicking and thrashing about, but I think the lack of fresh oxygen to my brain impeded my otherwise competent decision-making skills. So I stopped struggling and let him swim for the both of us.

By this point, my lungs were officially screaming for air, and little bubbles were escaping from my nose and obscuring my vision, so I was extremely caught off guard when I felt his lips on mine, gently kissing me.

I was shocked, to say the least. Why the hell would two people be kissing underwater, when one was most definitely about to drown? It seemed like a very bad time to be getting romantic, and I was fully prepared to push away and try kicking away from him again, when I felt his tongue trying to pry my lips apart.

Okay, just regular old kissing underwater: not so bad.

Full on French kissing underwater? HELLO! I want to _breathe_, not swap spit, moron!

And the next thing I knew, I was breathing. It seemed like one of those things that you only read about in tragic romances where the boy and girl are shipwrecked at sea and they breathe for each other to stay alive. But I guess he felt like this was better than going up for air, so…

It was very strange, and it seemed a lot more sensual than those novels made it sound like, even though, _technically_, this was all for _my_ survival at this point.

When he decided that I had had enough to fill my lungs, he slowly closed his mouth and began kissing me again. I found my hands in his hair, wondering when they got there, and discovered that his gravity-defying blue hair was just as gravity-defying in water. But it was smooth and rather nice-feeling, I decided.

His hands were gently holding my face to his, and after a short time (it seemed longer), he removed his face from my personal bubble and pulled us up to the surface for some _real_ air.

As soon as my mouth was clear of the water, I breathed in huge gulps of air, thankful for the abundance of it above water. After greedily filling my lungs, I realized that my hands were resting on his strong shoulders, even though I was fully capable of keeping myself afloat.

Kisame laughed at my dazed expression (and I'm _quite _sure it wasn't because of him kissing me, it was because my brain was oxygen-deprived, thank you very much) and kissed my forehead (I faintly remembered Ino's obnoxious, yet dearly missed, nickname for me).

I cleared my throat nervously and pushed away from him, diving underwater and pushing my chakra to my limbs to make me swim faster. I really didn't want a replay of what just happened (or did I? I wasn't really sure, honestly), so I pushed as hard as I could to reach the shore before he caught up. I now could feel his chakra, and he hadn't moved from where I'd left him.

I could see the sandy bottom of the lakebed and knew I was close enough that I could stand up, so I did, and continued to walk out of the water and towards my towel.

Later, wrapped up and warm once again, I sat by Itachi while he read from his book of poetry that I had given him for Christmas. "You're still reading that?" I asked, amused that it took an Uchiha of all people so long to read a book.

He placed a bookmark where he had been reading and closed the book, looking out over the lake. "I've read it a few times already. I was just rereading a few of my favorite pieces," he explained.

"Oh."

I followed his gaze and watched the sunlight play off the small wavelets and occasional fish popping out of the water.

Kisame came out of the water, grinning once again, and winked at me. I felt my face heat up involuntarily, and saw Itachi looking between the two of us, instantly suspicious in his detached and calculating way.

Kisame came over and grabbed his towel, drying his hair and purposefully flexing his bare arms and torso.

"Show off," I muttered under my breath, and I saw one of Itachi's rare smirks.

Kakuzu walked out from the tree line towards Hidan, muttering something to him about a mission or something along those lines, judging by the way Hidan told him to 'fuck off, bastard, I'm having a fucking day off and I wanna actually _enjoy_ it for once without you fucking interrupting.'

Before Kakuzu could decapitate the loudmouthed Jashinist, Kisame shouted over to him, "Hey, Kakuzu!"

He looked over, irritated that someone was disrupting his attempt to get rid of Hidan once and for all.

Seeing that he had his attention, Kisame said, "You should take Sakura shopping more often." He grinned and I just _knew_ that he was thinking something lewd.

I saw Kakuzu smirk at that (he wasn't wearing his mask), and heard a few other sounds of agreement from the others that were there.

Tobi came over at that moment and said, "Sakura-chan! You should've used more sunscreen, because you're all red! Sunburns aren't good for you!"

I was red, but I'm sure everyone knew (including Tobi, because I keep thinking he's not really as immature as he sounds) that it wasn't from the sun.

Later, when we were all walking back, Deidara came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. I was about to tell him to stop touching me, when he recoiled very suddenly and gagged.

Extremely offended (was there something in my hair? Did I smell funny? Did I suddenly have a tumor growing on my back?), I turned around and saw him trying to wipe his hands on his pants.

Was I covered in lake slime or something? Fish eggs? Algae? What the hell?!

"Sorry, Sakura, un. It's nothing to do with you, you just taste like sunscreen…" he explained while grimacing.

I blinked. So that's all it was?

Laughing, I replied, "Well, that'll teach you not to try and lick me, you perv," and walked off towards the base.

* * *

_**Okay, so maybe it wasn't **_**that**_** long, but it was a bit longer than the ones I've been putting up lately… So what'd ya think? Like it? Love it? Heaven forbid, hate it?**_

_**REVIEW, and let me know what you think! I'm open to suggestions, since it seems that the looming events of prom and graduation are sucking my imagination dry. Give me feedback, and I'll see if I can incorporate some ideas into this (or possibly another) fanfiction. **_

_**Anymewho, I guess that's all--**_

_**WAIT WAIT WAIT! That's not all! I was talking to my friend Sarah (who I now believe is even more pervy than I am [possibly even Jiraiya, the all around pervy ero-sennin!]) and she had a very serious question pertaining to Kakuzu and detachable body parts (referring to last chapter with the "Oh, dear God! That thing's detachable, I've seen it!" thing that Inner says). Use your imagination, and if that doesn't get you crying/laughing/shuddering/bleeding-from-your-nose, then I don't know what will. :|**_

_**Lol**_

_**Anyways, let's end this author's note.**_

_**If you've read this far, I love you forever. XD**_

_**Much love,**_

_**child_of_the_moon**_

_**XO**_


	23. Candy Land and Cuddles

_**I'm back! Two updates in one week, what the heck! You're so spoiled! This is all because of Pendragon-sama, you know. I would've been content to wait until next week to update, but Pendragon-sama said that I get a fanart if I update again, so here it is!**_

_**(btw, it's shorter [and unbeta'd ((sorry, Erica, couldn't wait! It's teh fanartz!))] than the others, but very cute, in my humble opinion.)**_

_**DISCLAIMER: Me no own! Nyeh!1! :P**_

"Tobi is bored!"

Deidara rolled his eyes; the orange-masked shinobi had repeated himself at least twenty times that morning, saying that he was bored or wanted to play a game or that Deidara-sempai and Sakura-chan were no fun.

I sighed. There really wasn't much to do without the rest of the boys around. Everyone was out on their own missions except for Deidara, Tobi and myself.

Tobi was right, though: it was very boring.

I leaned back into the couch cushions, frowning. Deidara followed suit and crossed his arms. Tobi, from his seated position on the floor in front of us, flopped backwards and muttered, "Deidara-sempai and Sakura-chan are so _boring_."

"I heard that, un," Deidara grumbled.

I huffed again. "What is there to do around here besides eat, sleep, watch TV and spar? I mean, that's basically all we ever do when we're not on missions."

"There's nothing besides sitting here and being _bored_, un," Deidara answered, closing his eyes and frowning even more. He looked like a petulant child, and I'm sure I looked the same.

We both flinched when Tobi shot up to his feet and exclaimed, "Tobi has an idea!" He ran off into another room, while Deidara and I stared in the general direction he took off to.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked, nervous.

"I have no idea, un. But knowing him, he's got some stupid game he's going to shove in our faces any second now."

We waited, and, sure enough, Tobi came running into the room with a board game in hand and only stopped when it was two inches from our faces.

"See! See! It's gonna be so fun, Deidara-sempai, Sakura-chan! Tobi's a good boy!" he gushed, practically jumping up and down in excitement.

We were both silent, when Deidara said, "Tobi, you idiot, we can't see what it is with it in our faces!"

Tobi, unfazed, pulled the box back towards his chest and said, "Can you read it now? Isn't it gonna be awesome? Let's play! Let's play!"

I nearly burst out laughing. What would Pain say if he saw some of his lethal weapons, i.e. us Akatsuki, playing Candy Land? I imagined Pain walking in on us and the colorful children's game: his eye would surely twitch, and he'd probably be utterly speechless; maybe his mouth would be gaping in shock. More realistically, he'd probably just stare for a second, shake his head in exasperation and walk away, pretending he never saw anything.

"Candy Land, Tobi? Seriously?" Deidara asked, apparently amazed that his partner was such a child at heart.

"Deidara, don't act all surprised. You know you want to play a nice, cute board game with us," I said while moving from the couch to sit down on the floor. Tobi seriously squealed in joy and sat down and set about the task of getting the game organized.

Deidara stared for a second and, shaking his head and muttering something about immature wannabe ninjas who should at least _act_ like they're real shinobi, he sat down next to me and picked up a player piece. "I'm blue, un."

* * *

"What? You can't be serious!" I exclaimed upon seeing the Mr. Peppermint card. I had been so close! I was a mere three spaces away from the finish and, as luck would have it, I drew the peppermint card.

Deidara laughed at my stricken expression. "That's what you get, un, for being all overconfident earlier. 'Oh, hey, look who's gonna win, losers!' Those were your exact words, if I recall."

I scowled. "Shut up."

"'Pride goes before the fall', right, Sakura-chan?" Tobi chimed in cheerfully. His piece was directly behind where mine had been, so now _he_ was the one who was most likely to win.

"Not you, too!" I cried, reluctantly moving my piece back to the candy cane. "This game sucks."

"You're only saying that because you're losing, un."

"Deidara, what did I just say to you?"

He laughed. "You told me to shut up. As if I'm gonna listen to _you_."

My voice turned to an unaffected, calculating tone. "Hmm, yes. I suppose you don't _need_ to listen to me. After all, I'm only a highly trained, very skilled _medic_ who knows every possible way to exploit a person's… _vulnerable_ points to put them in the most pain. That's all."

His eyes widened, and he wisely kept his mouth shut after that.

* * *

I woke up that night on the couch, cuddled up next to a very warm body. It took a second for me to regain my thoughts, but I remembered that, after playing countless rounds of Candy Land and later eating dinner in the living room while watching a movie, I had fallen asleep on Deidara.

He shifted as he woke up, and mumbled my name.

"Hmm?" I acknowledged, sitting up fully and moving away. He grabbed my wrist to prevent me from leaving his side and pulled me back. I returned to my previous position, deciding that cuddling really wasn't all that bad.

"Nothing," he said. "Just making sure you weren't that idiot."

I knew instantly that by 'that idiot', he was referring to his very strange partner, who appeared to be asleep in one of the recliners.

I asked him why he thought I was Tobi, and he sighed.

"He's weird, un. I woke up one time with him… cuddling… with me," he said quietly, and I nearly burst out laughing at the image that popped into my head.

"Shut up," Deidara admonished, sensing my impending giggle-burst. "I kicked him off my bed and threw bombs at him for it, so he hasn't done it since."

I chucked softly. Deidara wrapped his arms around me and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "You're okay to cuddle with, though, un."

I smiled, even though he couldn't see it in the dark. "Thanks, I guess. Just don't throw bombs at me or something, or I _will_ castrate you."

He laughed quietly. "I wouldn't do that to you, Sakura. Never, not for any reason."

My guilty conscience stabbed at my heart, but I smiled fondly nonetheless. "Thanks, Deidara."

At that moment, I felt a looming presence behind me. Craning my neck, I looked over my shoulder to find a Tobi-shaped shadow standing behind me next to the couch.

"Tobi…?"

All of a sudden, I felt the couch cushions behind me sink in, and another warm body come up to rest against my side. Tobi wrapped his arms around my torso and rested his head on my shoulder. "'Night, Sakura-chan, Deidara-sempai."

Deidara groaned in annoyance. "God, Tobi, do you even _know_ what personal space is, un?"

His complaint fell on deaf ears, however, as we both heard soft snoring coming from behind Tobi's mask.

"Forget it, Deidara," I said, resting my arm across his stomach. "'Night."

He sighed and said goodnight, and we all drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_**Yeah, yeah, I know. But I warned you that it'd be short! This is all I can push out today! I mean, I wrote this all last-minute, finishing around 2:00 this afternoon, and I have four hours until I need to be ready for prom! I'm so excited for this, so that's why this chapter's kind of half-assed. Forgive me, but I've got these nervous butterflies in my tummy because I'm going with this guy that I've been crushing on since I was a toddler (we're practically BFFs anyways) and he's pretty much amazing. :3 I might edit this out later…. XD**_

_**Anyways, hope you enjoyed this four-pager. I'm sorry I couldn't be more creative, but you must understand why by this point. Lol**_

_**Much love (and wish me luck: maybe something will **_**happen**_** for once in this confusing relationship!),**_

_**child_of_the_moon**_

_**XO**_


	24. Jealous Much?

_**You know what? I'm not gonna apologize. I refuse.**_

_**Does anyone know exactly how busy the two weeks up until graduation are? On a scale of one to ten, probably an eighteen. I'm serious. :(**_

_**So I've had Baccalaureate, Graduation, and a funeral for a friend of mine all in two weeks. It. Sucks. And guess what? I have college in exactly thirteen days.**_

_**You know how I was all, "Oh hay, Imma gonna has updates every other week, plzkthx"? That's not looking very plausible. At least, not for the next couple months. I dunno about a few months down the road, but we'll see. So if there are no updates for a while, I promise I haven't dropped the story. I'm just uber busy with school and stuff.**_

_**Thanks for sticking with this! Heart you all to bits.**_

_**DISCLAIMER**__**: I don't own Naruto(:Shippuden) or any characters found therein. I **_**do**_** own a candle, a snap bracelet, a bathing suit/other clothes, and a box.

* * *

**_

"So," I shouted, "are you sure this is the right place?"

Hidan turned to smirk at me, his blue eyes shining with excitement. "What, you scared?"

I frowned, "No, I just think it's kind of… inconvenient that we're supposed to find our target… here." I pushed my dark brown hair out of my lighter brown eyes. I hate using stupid jutsu to change my appearance. I've always felt that one should stick to their natural colors as far as hair and eyes go, and I rather like my pink hair, thank you very much.

Hidan laughed. "I think it's fucking perfect," he shouted, and proceeded to lead me into the overcrowded club. I noticed how a lot of people had wild hair colors, and then thought that we would've been just fine with our natural hair and eye colors in this crowd.

Kakuzu's warning of how Hidan would focus more on dancing, drinking, and chatting up pretty girls popped into my mind. 'Looks like we're on our own,' Inner griped. 'What a jackass!'

I agreed for once. I pulled the target's description to mind once again, running over the details.

Six-foot-six, blond hair, green eyes, and has a knack for picking up all the girls in the immediate vicinity. Usually wears a white vest and brown nin slacks with brown nin sandals. Extensive tattoos on arms of good luck symbols and pinup girls. Prominent scar in an 'X' pattern on his left pectoral. As far as we knew, his name was Haruki. No last name was given.

Leader's orders: make absolutely sure it's him before dispatching as quickly and quietly as possible.

I felt Hidan let go of my hand and saw his black hair moving through the crowd just above most of the gyrating dancers. I pushed through the mass of drunken bodies with no small amount of effort (I. Hate. Crowds.), and finally managed to come out on the other side right in front of…

Hidan. At the bar. With a red-head on his lap running her tongue along his jugular. A brunette was running her hands through his hair from behind. And a girl with glaringly fake pink hair rubbing her hands across his (well-built, incredibly nice to look at) chest.

Wait, when did he take his shirt off?

I ignored that little annoyance I'd come to associate with jealousy and sat down on the extreme opposite end of the bar and ordered a virgin margarita. The bartender looked at me funny, and then I said I was here with my boyfriend and I was under-aged. He seemed to take that last-minute explanation as the truth (well, it partially was), and handed me a (virgin) green apple margarita.

I sipped it, and probably seemed rather dainty and well-to-do, but I was positively fuming.

That idiot! As soon as we walked it, he just headed straight for the bar! We were on a mission, dammit, not some vacation! I could practically feel the steam coming out of my ears when I heard his boisterous laugh over the loud bass of the music.

I kept my eyes firmly glued to the entrance, waiting for our target to arrive.

* * *

I glanced at the clock yet again. A man who fit Haruki's description had walked in nearly an hour ago, and Hidan _still_ hadn't noticed. Currently, that idiot was grinding up against that fake pink-haired girl from before, and they both looked either incredibly hammered or supremely horny. I couldn't really decide which word fit their extremely sexual and completely uncoordinated dancing (if one could call _that_ dancing).

Instead of setting fire to a very uncomfortable area of Hidan's anatomy, I got up and decided to continue with our mission. By myself. So, adopting the persona of a rather infatuated young woman, I slowly got up from my bar stool and slinked over to the tall man sitting at one of the booths in the back.

His eyes locked onto me the second I crossed the dance floor, and he waited until I was right at his table before openly checking me out. "Hey," he said, and his deep voice was obviously meant to sound sexy and inviting, because the other girls around him started inching closer, sending him the 'bedroom eyes' look. As for me, most of them glared when I moved to get closer.

I smiled at him, ignoring the others. "Hey yourself," I replied. I've never been good at this whole 'picking up guys' thing, but I knew I had him hooked when he stood up and reached for my hand, his glass of some sort of alcoholic beverage in the other hand.

"I'm Haruki," he said by way of introduction.

I followed suit and said, "Hana." I allowed him to take my hand and bring it to his lips.

"A pleasure to meet you," he said formally, and I could instantly see why he had such a crowd of women around him; he was very charming, to say the least. "Shall we go somewhere a little less crowded?" he asked, loud enough for the rest of the girls around him to hear and glare daggers at me.

I nodded and smiled, acting flattered and shy.

Okay, so maybe I wasn't _completely_ acting…

He led me across the room to a less populated area of the club. It was darker. And a lot more private.

He sat down first, and boldly brought me down sideways onto his lap and brought his drink to his lips. If this were any other guy, or if it wasn't a mission and I wasn't _required _to keep a disguise, I would've punched him across the room. Instead, I did nothing and just looked at him, checking off the green eyes, blond hair, and getting ready to search for the 'X'-shaped scar. When he saw me watching, he smirked and moved to place the cool glass against my own mouth, right where he had sipped.

I could just _hear_ Ino screaming 'indirect kiss' at the top of her lungs and squealing like the pig she is.

I sipped, and instantly recognized it as a strong whiskey. It reminded me of Kisame's favorite thing to drink after he came back from a long mission.

NOT that I had ever had any of that before, I'm just saying it smelled like it.

Okay, so maybe I had a sip. Arrest me! Just one teeny, tiny little sip isn't really the same as drinking.

Shutting up.

Anyways, Haruki smirked again and sipped some more. Setting the glass down, he moved both hands to my hips and rested them there, locking his fingers together with a practiced confidence. "So, are you new around here, Hana-chan?" he asked sweetly, and he was giving me _that _look, you know, the one that says, 'I'm gonna get in your pants by the end of the night, just you wait'? Yeah, that one. I nearly snorted at that thought, because it was _highly_ unlikely that anything like that would be going on between us tonight. Or ever, really.

I smiled again and said, "Yeah, how'd you know?" I moved to trace one of my fingers down his neck along his jugular and rested it on his clavicle.

He hummed and said that he's a 'frequent customer' at this particular club, and had 'never seen anyone as pretty' as me here before. Inner gagged at the flattery. I just blushed and acted all shy and innocent. That's right, Haruki, go ahead and think I'm just this young, inexperienced newbie with nothing to hide. Kind of a pathetic excuse for a ninja, if you were to ask me.

I felt one of his hands fingering the hem of my purple blouse, and I instantly knew that he was fully intent on groping me _very_ soon. I had learned in my early Academy days that there were things we would have to deal with for the sake of the mission, and this appeared to be one of those things.

I inwardly sighed, but played along and ran my fingers down his tattooed arms. There's another thing pointing to him being an idiot shinobi: the number one reason we're told as kids to not get tattoos when we're ninja is that they're identifiable marks that would leave you in deep trouble if you were being tracked. I saw each and every tattoo that had been described: the racy pinup girls, the skull with a snake coming out of it's various orifices, the koi fish and horseshoes, and various kanji with popular sayings. I decided to ask another question that would help me make absolutely sure he was who I thought he was.

"So, are you a ninja?" I asked, all shy and innocent. I looked up at his face through my eyelashes.

He smirked that confident smirk once again and said he was, and from the hidden rock village. I made a little expression of surprise and said, "Really? That's kinda cool," and giggled.

His grin widened, and I felt his fingers brush against my skin. In return, I moved my hands across his shoulders and toward his chest. The only thing left to identify was that scar, and his vest was in the way.

I moved my hands downwards a little, and his moved up under my blouse and along my back. I could feel the hard pads of his fingers moving further up, so I resituated myself so I was facing him. Inwardly, I was thinking that I felt like those sluttish girls that he had been sitting with earlier, and then I was reminded of the girls that were all over Hidan.

Irritated, I brought my face closer to his, and stopped short just a few inches. If Hidan could have fun, so could I. And at least _I_ was paying attention to the mission.

Haruki moved closer, his breath mingling with mine, and brought his hands up farther and farther. I felt his fingertips brush against my bra clasp, and I got nervous once again. There was a very high risk of this going too far, and also a very high risk of me cracking and punching his face in for being so forward, thus ruining the mission.

So, I ignored that worried sensation in the pit of my stomach and proceeded to lightly brush my lips against his, allowing him to do the rest. Eagerly, he started kissing me and bringing his hands around to my front. My breath hitched and (much to my annoyance) he took that as a good sign and inched his hands up towards my breasts.

I pushed aside his vest as carefully and sensually as I could, so as not to alert him to what I was really after. After breaking away from his mouth, I just barely caught a glimpse of that 'X'-shaped scar before his mouth was on my neck.

'Oooh, what will the rest of the guys think when they see a hickey?' Inner cackled. I didn't find it nearly as amusing, and was _extremely_ relieved when someone interrupted him.

"Hey, Haruki! What did I say about going off on your own! I'm getting paid to watch your back, you moron!" shouted a familiar voice.

To adapt a phrase from Hidan's colorful vocabulary: fucking shit.

No. Way.

I nearly had to clamp my hand over my mouth when I saw a familiar sun-kissed face a few inches from mine. It was Naruto, and he was staring at me with such a look of déjà vu that I nearly jumped up and ran off.

_No, no, no! This mission isn't over yet! My _real_ mission isn't over yet! Tsunade-shishou's gonna kill me! No, _Leader's _gonna kill me! Shit!_

"Hey," he said slowly. "Do I know you from somewhere?" he asked, and an accusatory look passed through his sky-blue eyes.

Mouth agape, and flailing for words, my brain finally supplied my genius answer: "Uh, I don't think so?"

I think I deserve an Oscar for that performance, ladies and gents.

Note: I was being sarcastic.

"Huh. Anyways," he said, turning away from me to look at Haruki, who was giving him this look of complete annoyance. "As I was sayi-"

"Actually, Naruto, we were in the middle of something, in case you didn't notice," Haruki said in a rather pissed-off manner. He nodded pointedly to his hands, one of which was still on my right breast and the other was on my waist.

Naruto's eyes zeroed in on my exposed stomach, and a frown appeared on his normally bright and happy face. "Huh, my friend as a scar just like that."

I swear I felt a fissure appear in my heart. I hated doing this to him, lying and hurting him, running away from him.

"That's interesting, now if you don't mind…?" Haruki said, and then went to start kissing my neck again, only to be interrupted by…

"Hey, shitface, what the fuck are you doing to my girlfriend?"

All three of us looked up to the source of the shout, and found Hidan walking over with murder written all over his face.

Not literally, by the way, but that would have been pretty funny.

"Wait, what?" both Haruki and I said at the same time, until I realized that Hidan was pretending that _I_ was his girlfriend. I quickly made to get up off Haruki's lap (I didn't know if Hidan was actually pissed or if he was just _that_ good at acting), only to be stopped by his hands on my waist pulling me back down to rest firmly on his thighs.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Haruki asked, and then kissed my collarbone. I blushed, and started to protest when Hidan reached the table, grabbing me (surprisingly) gently by the hand until I was able to get off of Haruki's lap. Once I was behind him, Hidan grabbed Haruki by the neck and hoisted him off of his seat until he wasn't able to touch the ground.

"Don't fuck around with my girl, asshole," he growled, and tossed him against the wall.

I absently thought that Naruto wasn't doing a very good job of protecting Haruki.

"Hey, hey, hey, let's just calm down here for a second, okay?" Naruto suggested, stepping between the two before Hidan could attempt to attack the other man again. "Haruki's just drunk, doesn't really know what he's doing. So how about I buy us all a couple drinks and we can forget this ever happened?"

Hidan looked to me over his shoulder, as if he was waiting for _me_ to decide (for once). I grabbed his hand and suggested, "Yoshiro, let's just go back to the dance floor."

AKA: Hidan, there's no way we're gonna be able to complete this mission with a guard hanging around, so let's just quit while we're ahead, shall we?

He nodded and turned back to Haruki, saying, "If I so much as fucking see you _looking_ at her, I'll rip out your balls and fucking stuff them down your throat, you lame-ass son of a bitch." With that, he wrapped his arm around me possessively and escorted me back to the other side of the room, at the far edge of the dance floor.

* * *

After half an hour of dancing, we looked around for Haruki and couldn't find a trace of him. So much for 'dispatching' him as soon as possible.

I looked up at Hidan's face and noticed that he still looked pissed off.

"What's wrong?" I asked, as we walked into our room at the local dingy motel.

He ignored me and walked towards the bathroom, pulling his shirt off over his head as he went.

"Hidan?"

He huffed and tossed the shirt to the floor.

"Hidan."

He kicked off his sandals and tossed them toward the door, missing me by mere inches.

"_Hidan,_" I growled.

He continued to ignore me and reached for the bathroom door handle. I jumped in front of him and blocked his way, scowling at him.

"What?" he asked (mumbled is more like it). He eased his frown lines away with practiced ease, but I still knew he was mad.

"What do you mean, 'what'? What's wrong with you?" I asked, crossing my arms and frowning up at him.

He scoffed. "Nothing's wrong," he replied. "Move out of the way."

I stared at him in shock.

"What?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"You didn't swear. Something's definitely wrong."

He snorted a laugh, and then sobered. "Fuck you. Is that better? Now move out of the way." He put his hands on my shoulders and attempted to push me off to the side.

I grabbed his arms and held him in place. "No. Not until you tell me what's bugging you. Is it because we failed the mission?"

"Tch. No, I've fucked up plenty of missions; this one's no different."

"Are you pissed because you didn't get to kill the target?" I ventured.

His frown lines were back, and he turned around and started walking to the other side of the considerably small space. "No, that asshole doesn't really pose much of a threat to the Akatsuki; he's just a minor annoyance that Pain wants gone."

I was out of ideas. "Then why are your boxers in a bunch?" I asked angrily, moving to stand behind him and crossing my arms in an impatient gesture.

He growled. "Because you were letting him fucking _touch_ you wherever the hell he wanted!" he bit out, turning around to glare at me. "You don't even let _me_ grope you, and I've known you for almost six fucking months!"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. As far as I knew, he didn't even _like_ me in that way, and wasn't it obvious that we were on a mission as opposed to a date? "Hidan, we're on a freaking _mission_! Didn't you ever learn that you need to put the mission first, above yourself? Getting the mission finished is all that matters!"

He narrowed his eyes. "Yeah? Then what if you weren't able to complete the mission without that _bastard_ stealing your goddamned virginity? What then? Does the mission still come first?"

Was _that_ was this was about? My _virginity_?

"Hidan, if the mission were _that_ important, then I'd have to say 'yes'. This one didn't-"

"Don't," he interrupted. "Just don't. The fact that this stupid mission didn't come to that isn't what I'm fucking trying to get at here, Sakura. How can you just _let_ someone do that, when you won't let any of us get close to you?"

I was silent for a moment, trying to sort through all the thoughts going through my head. I knew exactly who he meant by 'us'. "So, are you jealous or something?" I asked, fully expecting him to deny it and proceed to call me a number of vulgar names _and_ insult my mother.

"Damn straight, I'm jealous! And it's not just me! It's… You know what? Never mind. If you're _that_ fucking blind, I'm not even gonna bother explaining." He stomped off to the bathroom and slammed the door. I heard a muffled 'shit' come through the solid barrier, and then the hot water was being turned on in the shower.

"Shit," I said, and sunk down onto the single bed. 'Now I know why he ordered a room with one bed instead of two,' Inner stated helpfully. I promptly told her to shut her pie hole.

I needed to talk to Tsunade. Now.

I got up and knocked on the door. "Hidan?"

"…the fuck do you want?" came through the door.

I sighed. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be back in a few."

"Whatever."

* * *

I received Tsunade's reply a matter of minutes after I sent my own out. I was glad that the jutsu worked quickly.

"_Sakura, I'm worried about you. Don't forget that these are S-ranked criminals, and most of them are very good with strategizing and getting into your head. Don't let them. If you must, for the sake of the mission, I'd advise that you allow their advances to a point. Don't allow it to go too far. You don't want to end up hurt, and you don't want them thinking you're up to something. Please be careful, and I'll try to keep that damn Naruto away from your area. Don't forget what you're supposed to be researching, Sakura. If you've found any clues as to how to bring them down, do so. Let me know how that jutsu you've been working on turns out. It'd be a much better alternative to what they're using."_

I sighed, relieved for the moment. Of course, I knew I wouldn't be so stress-free the minute I walked back into room 34. So, I took my time walking back.

By the time I made it back to the room and closed the door, Hidan had only just finished his scalding hot shower. I was pretty sure he'd used up most, if not all, of the motel's hot water supply. Hidan and his pain fixation…

I shook my head, fighting back a smile. These guys were growing on me at an alarming rate. This wasn't supposed to happen.

I took off my sandals and took the few minutes before I knew Hidan would come out of the bathroom to change.

Obviously, my sense of time was off, seeing as my pajama shirt wasn't even on when Hidan came out dripping wet with nothing but a towel on.

I made a noise halfway between surprise and mortification at being caught in my pajama shorts and a bra.

And it wouldn't have been so bad if I had been wearing a different bra.

Hidan's eyes bugged out of his skull. "Damn, I didn't know that bra looked _that_ good on you," he said, and took a few steps closer to me.

My face was probably the color of a tomato. And instead of thinking rationally and whipping the shark-covered cami on over my head to cover my near-nudity, I dropped the aforementioned article of clothing and covered my insubstantial chest with my arms. "S-stop staring! It's not _that_ remarkable, I assure you!"

He smirked, and I knew he was back to being the same old Hidan from before that night's disastrous mission. "Oh, I beg to differ," he replied, and I was decidedly _very_ worried.

I backed away from him, taking frightened steps towards the wall. I stopped when my heels touched the dirty baseboard, and suddenly wished that I could move through walls.

"I didn't think you'd actually fucking wear it," he said, tucking a corner of his towel in to keep it in place and free his hands. "I'm touched, Sakura-chan." He grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

I stuttered intelligently and crossed my arms tighter, closing my eyes as he came closer and closer…

I felt his breath stir my bangs (which were back to their original color), and could practically _feel_ him smirking at me. I flinched when I heard the dull thud of his hands coming into contact with the wall on either side of me.

I was honestly surprised when he kissed me gently. It was the second time that night (and probably ever) that he was almost tender and calm. I felt him sigh against my lips, and started to loosen my death grip around my arms. Eyes still closed, I started to kiss him back, and nearly whined (Heaven forbid!) when he pulled away and started trailing light kisses down my jaw line and my neck. He stopped at the spot where Haruki had given me a slight hickey, and I could feel his lips turn down into a frown against my skin.

And suddenly we were on the bed, and he was kissing me passionately, and my arms were around his neck and his hands were _everywhere_.

He bit and sucked and licked and kissed my neck, and my mind was starting to get hazy, when I realized where this _could _go. Without missing a beat, I ran my fingers through his hair; he moaned and brought his lips back up to mine. In the next instant, my fingertips were at his temples, and with a short burst of chakra, he was fast asleep. I rolled him off of me and tucked him into the covers, vaguely amazed that his towel had stayed on.

I smirked, grabbed my cami from the floor, and pulled it on. I walked over to the light switch and flicked it off, then blindly made my way over to the bed. I laid down as far away from Hidan as the bed allowed and tried to fall asleep.

He was gonna be a bitch in the morning.

* * *

_**Wow, that was around ten pages long… I think that's the longest chapter yet, and HidaSaku isn't even my favorite pairing! Lol**_

_**Anyways, press that little review button down there. You know you want to. And even if you don't, I'll guilt you into leaving a review.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**I'm gonna cry in my little box that I mentioned in the first author's note if you don't leave a review. I might starve myself. I might…kick a puppy! Or eat a baby! Or throw a kitten out the window!**_

_**Naw, just kiddin'. :) I wouldn't throw a kitten out the window. I don't even **_**have**_** a kitten! Haha! Ha! Ha…ha.**_

_***ahem***_

_**Much love,**_

_**child_of_the_moon**_

_**XO**_


	25. Kiss and Tell

_**Alrighty, then. I'm back! *hides* Please don't kill me for taking so long. I finally figured out what I didn't like in this chapter. I seriously had to cut a whole section out, probably about a page and a half of dialogue and general filler crap. I figured 7 pages is enough. ;) **_

_**Anyways, I've got a general outline of the rest of this story kind of mapped out on some sticky notes on my desktop background (haha, love that app SO much). I'm thinking maybe another 10 chapters at most, but I'm not sure what the least amount of chapters to fit it into would be. I'm gonna revise that poll up on my profile as far as pairings go, so please VOTE! I need to know who everyone wants Sakura to end up with in order to finish this, and for once I want to actually finish a multi-chapter fanfic, rather than dropping it and never getting the inspiration to pick it back up. Lol**_

_**ALSO! Important announcement: If anyone wants to ask questions of the Akatsuki members pertaining to this fic, direct a question to your member(s) of choice in your review, and they shall answer when we have enough questions**__**! I'm stealing a page from LadyBattousai's book and having a character Q&A session, so feel free to ask away!**_

_**That said, college is going well, but it **_**is**_** still ranked higher than this in my priorities list (though not that much higher, lol). I'm very busy with all of my school work, and finding the time and inspiration to write this is becoming rather difficult, but I will continue! I love this fic (and you lovely reviewers) too much to just drop it. ;) Which is why I wish to further entertain you all with a character Q&A if my muse decides to take a vacation again.**_

_**But enough about me, let's move on, shall we?**_

_**DISCLAIMER**__**: I don't own Naruto or any characters found therein. Blame Kishimoto for how messed up things are getting.

* * *

**_

"Wow, Pinky. Is that…?"

I blushed furiously. "Shut up, you oversized haddock."

Hidan guffawed, and I _swear_ I heard a harsh exhale come from Itachi, which usually meant that the normally stoic Uchiha was disguising his laugh to make people think he was physically incapable of being anything less than badass.

Kisame blinked. "Was it…?" He glanced at the resident Jashinist as he trailed off; he didn't even bother to respond to the haddock jab.

"A couple of them are. The other one's from… the target."

The entire room grew deathly still.

I chanced a look around at their slightly murderous expressions. Kakuzu looked up from the newspaper he had been reading, a tentacle-thingy unraveling from his wrist and looking especially sharp and deadly.

Hidan grew incredibly sulky-looking, glaring at the hickey (the one that _wasn't_ one of his) with an angry intensity I hadn't seen since the night of our botched mission.

Kisame reached for Samehada, which was currently resting against the counter beside him, and his eyes practically shouted his murderous intent.

Itachi, Sharingan activated and spinning agitatedly, merely stared expressionlessly (though I thought it looked like a forced nonchalance) at my neck.

All was silent, until Itachi decided to announce his battle plans with the casual tone of one who was stating his croquet plans for the afternoon.

"I'm going to kill him. And when I come back, Hidan will finally understand how… un-pleasurable pain can truly be."

I gulped, and Hidan started to back his way out of the kitchen slowly, hoping not to attract the attention of the volatile Uchiha.

I decided I should probably do something to calm him down.

"N-now Itachi, I don't think that's entirely necessary. I mean, at least the part about torturing Hidan…"

* * *

I heard Hidan and Itachi talking as they passed my closed bedroom door later that afternoon. Seeing as they were probably the most unlikely pair to be striking up casual conversation in this organization, I decided I _really_ needed to hear what they were talking about.

"…believe me. I fucking wanted to beat the shit out of him right then and there, but she gave me this look, y'know, like she didn't think it was worth fighting with the damn bodyguard just to finish the mission."

It was easy to tell which voice belonged to which irate Akatsuki: Hidan had a vocabulary that would put a seasoned sailor to shame. Itachi's voice was much more subdued, and consequently much scarier.

"You should have killed him, regardless of what she was thinking."

"That's what I fucking thought, too. But you know that look she gives you. Denying her is like kicking a fucking puppy."

I had my ear pressed against the wall (grinning all the while because who knew that I was so incredibly influential?), so I heard Itachi's irritated sigh as they ambled past my doorway.

"I want to come with you, when you go after the bastard."

A pause. "Fine. Perhaps your morbid forms of worship will come in handy…"

I sighed. What a bunch of drama queens. It was a hickey! Big deal. It's not like they weren't trying to do the same thing 24/7. I went back to studying up on my medical ninjutsu.

* * *

Dinner together that night was lively.

Well, about as lively as a bunch of dead people. Details, details…

Deidara wasn't even hitting Tobi or screeching at him like he normally does. And, speaking of Tobi, the most child-like one of us wasn't blathering on about rainbows and kittens and sunshine.

Most unusual. And slightly worrying.

Kisame kept staring at my neck like I had a fatal bout of leprosy and I would drop dead any second now.

Hidan kept glancing up at me in between slow, distracted bites of his tempura. His eyes would tighten and he'd look back down at his food before violently stabbing one of the tasty morsels and staring at it on his fork.

Kakuzu, who had decided to grace us with his presence for dinner that evening, merely watched me eat as his own food got cold. With those weird eyes of his, I began to get rather creeped out.

Itachi still had his Sharingan activated, and the tomoe were _still_ spinning agitatedly. I quickly avoided his gaze, unsure if he was mad enough to unleash the wrath of his Tsukuyomi.

I cringed inwardly, remembering how messed up Kakashi-sensei was after dealing with that.

I sat through about ten minutes of this silent torture, before I decided to get up and evacuate the increasingly tense atmosphere ASAP.

"I'm, ah… I'm gonna go… somewhere else. Yeah, um. Yeah."

My skin crawled as I left the dining room and six sets of eyes followed my nervous movements.

* * *

I decided avoidance was the best course of action until the guys cooled off a bit. So avoid I did, only coming out for the occasional PB&J sandwich and to use the bathroom.

In the time I spent sequestered in my room, I worked relentlessly on trying to come up with a new jutsu that would put even _this_ criminal organization full of geniuses to shame.

To put it simply, I was trying to come up with an alternate method of tailed-beast extraction that _wouldn't_ end up killing the host. The sooner I figured this out, the sooner I could talk to Tsunade (via handy-dandy wind jutsu), and the sooner we could figure out a method of convincing Leader to spill his evil plans and bribe him with my epic kick-ass jutsu.

Damn, am I good.

Well, I would be _much_ better if, you know, I could actually figure out _how the hell I am going to do this_!

I mashed my palms into my forehead, attempting to relieve a nasty headache without actually wasting any chakra, which could be used to attempt another trial of the extraction.

What I really needed was a willing victim to help me further my goals for world domination (or at least evil organization domination).

At that very moment, Itachi chose to open my door and peek inside. "What are you doing?" he asked, an intrigued expression making its way onto his face when he took in the books strewn around on my bed, floor, and desk space.

I huffed in exasperation, and decided to forget about his hypothetical attraction to me for the moment and usher him inside. "I'm merely attempting to take over the world with my epic medical ninjutsu skills," I answered as I made space for him to sit down on my bed opposite me.

He smirked slightly. "Would you like some assistance?"

I thought for a second. Would I?

"Actually, yeah. I really would. How much do you know about chakra-sealing?"

He grew unnaturally still (more so than he normally is, which is saying something). "What exactly are you doing, world domination plots aside?" he asked dubiously.

I deflated a little, thinking of the real driving force behind my long hours of research and practice runs: Naruto.

"When you… left Konoha…" I began, looking up at his face from under my eyelashes to gauge his reaction. He was still rather immobile… and was that some discomfort I saw? Naw, that can't be.

"What about it?" he asked carefully.

"Did you, um… have any… friends? That you sort of left behind?" I asked.

He relaxed a little bit. "Not exactly," he replied. "I wasn't very… social, I suppose. I was normally on ANBU missions." _Before I killed my clan_, was what he left out, but we both knew what he meant without him needing to say it.

"Consequently, I didn't have many 'friends'. For shinobi, friends are generally a luxury, and as an Uchiha, and having been dubbed one of '_Konoha's prodigies_', it was a luxury I wasn't allowed to indulge in. And besides, after I left, I'm sure any friends I did have only sought my life instead of holding any desire to bring me 'home'. I'm sure you understand having such devoted friends like that better than I do."

I knew who he was hinting at with that: Sasuke. But I had given up on him, even though Naruto hadn't.

"But, you understand that, if you had friends, you would want to do anything to protect them?" I asked, half-hoping that he'd understand what I was getting at before I would have to confess anything crucial to the mission.

He nodded. "But, as a shinobi, one must put the mission above all else, including friends and family."

I got the distinct feeling that there was something he was leaving out there, but I didn't press the issue. It was the most I had ever heard the taciturn Uchiha speak, and I wasn't about to allow him to clam up if he was willing to be so forthcoming.

"Is it okay, as a missing ninja, to hold on to old bonds just a little?" I asked quietly, looking up at his face to watch for unvoiced feelings.

He blinked slowly. "Am I correct in assuming that you have one such bond?"

"Kind of. I mean, I'm not about to go make a house call, but he's really important to me, and his safety still remains a top concern of mine."

His eyebrows furrowed fractionally. "Why should his safety remain a concern of yours, unless he's being targeted by this organization?"

I bit my lip. "Would Leader be open to suggestions involving the hosts of the tailed demons?"

Itachi remained silent for a moment, and I was worried that he had me figured out right then and there and I could kiss my dreams for the future goodbye.

"Is that what you've been spending all of this time in your room doing? Coming up with alternative solutions to the extraction process?" he asked, and I grinned, sensing that he wasn't about to tattle on me.

"Yeah, and I'm _really_ close. I just need some help as far as the actual extraction goes. And it's great, because what I've been thinking means that it would only take a couple of hours and one competent individual to fully extract the demon from the host. I was thinking if we could just contain the demon in some sort of inanimate vessel… What?"

Itachi was smiling softly. "I'm sure Leader will be open to a few suggestions, but I think you should be careful about your reasoning behind it. It wouldn't be beneficial for anyone to figure out exactly why you're here, now would it?" He stood and made to leave, but I was able to get a grip on my slowly crumbling mind and shout for him to wait.

"How did you…? You…! Gah!" I rambled incoherently.

He smirked and moved his fingers across his closed mouth in a zipping motion. And then he seemed to think twice about it, and removed his hand from the doorknob, slowly advancing on me.

"I'll keep my thoughts to myself regarding your little confession, but there will be a price," he warned, smirking devilishly (which was rather scary, seeing as it's _freaking Uchiha Itachi_) as he leaned towards me, bracing his hands on either side of my folded legs.

I gulped, all rational thoughts effectively draining out of my ears. "And what might that be?" I asked warily.

He leaned further forward and pressed his lips to mine softly. My eyes widened, and I swear he was smiling against my lips.

The next thing I knew, I was pushed back onto my bed with an anatomy text book crushed beneath my left side and a chakra guide digging into my upper back. I promptly forgot all about this as I felt his calloused hands wandering up my bare legs to the hem of my shorts, and his fingers began to slowly worm their way underneath the tight fabric. All the while, he was kissing me and pretty much melting my brain.

I was snapped out of my daze when the wandering, unimportant thought of 'where did my shorts go?' made its way through the goo that was my cerebrum.

"No!" I shouted. "No, no, _no_!"

Itachi immediately stopped kissing my neck and moved to look at my face. "Are you sure?" he asked, and I had trouble concentrating on his words when they were coming from his lips…

Snap out of it!

I nodded. And then shook my head. And then frowned and nodded again.

He chuckled. _Uchiha Itachi_ _chuckled_. Can you believe it? Luckiest girl on planet Earth, right here people. I'm pretty sure I was the first person (besides his parents, probably) to have heard _the_ Uchiha Itachi let loose a sound purposefully indicative of amusement.

"Alright," he said, sounding more than just a little amused. "I suppose that payment will suffice. I get the added bonus of seeing Hidan burst a blood vessel. Very worth it, indeed."

I didn't know whether or not to be offended, so I just stared at him as he straightened his shirt and gave me back my black shorts.

I quickly pulled them on (blushing the entire time), and attempted to straighten my own shirt.

Itachi put a hand on the door handle, and just as it was opened said, "And by the way: an interesting choice in undergarments, Sakura. Hello Kitty suits you."

The door closed before I could get a word in edgewise, but not before I heard Hidan scream an outraged, "THE FUCK? BASTARD!", followed by a rather loud thud and some more shouts of distress.

"This place is a madhouse!" I cried softly, tugging at my messed-up hair.

* * *

_**So… Hello Kitty is from the Devil. I swear the only reason it got in there was because of my friends Jamie and Geoff who had mentioned it in passing one day, and the evil little thing managed to pop into the story without my knowing. Lol I seriously didn't remember writing that until I had proof-read this before editing a few things and finalizing.**_

_**Since a lot of reviewers haven't signed in or wrote anonymously, I've decided to take up more space and reply to them. I love getting reviews, and so I feel bad that I can't reply to people when they've spent the time writing to me. Feel free to skip it, but here it is:**_

_**If there is someone who goes by **_**ducky678blueyonder**_** and tried to have me send chapters to their email, I apologize, but I was unable to send anything. I kept getting an error message, so please try again! Keep in mind that fanfiction. net doesn't typically allow links or email addresses. So sorry!**_

_**To **_**( )**_**: I'm glad you enjoyed chapter 24, and you're very welcome. Thank you for reviewing. :)**_

_**To **_**Mel**_**: I'm happy to have added another pairing to your list of favorites. :) I never really liked HidanxSakura, and I didn't intend to add it until I started "researching" the pairing by reading other HidanxSakura fics. Now, I love the pairing almost as much as ItachixSakura.**_

_**To **_**PeopleLookAtMeWeird**_**: (that's not necessarily a bad thing, btw) I loved the ending to chapter 23 as well, and I actually liked it more when Tobi joined, just because it made it just a tad cuter. I'm glad you enjoyed it, though, and thank you for your review! And as for your review to chapter 24, I don't think I'll do any starving, kicking, or baby-eating, even if it is your annoying cousin. ;) PS: I love HidaSaku too, and I hope you end up liking it more.**_

_**To **_**Ellie**_**: Thanks so much! I'm also a fan of HidaSaku and I'm glad you found chapter 24 very satisfying. :)**_

_**To **_**animeangel88**_**: I'm glad you liked it! Sorry it took so long (I think it was more than a month, but I'm not sure). Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well (please don't die).**_

_**To **_**lara**_**: Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you're enjoying it, and I hope you're this enthusiastic about chapter 25. :)**_

_**To **_**PeachyPie**_**: I'm glad you find it so funny. ;) I love writing it, and I'm often trying to suppress my giggles while I come up with ideas. Thanks for your review!**_

_**To **_**Starlight Angelz**_**: As far as PeinSaku, I'm pretty sure that will be a 'no'. Mostly because I'm a huge fan of PeinKona and they just seem like the parents to this wacky family we call the Akatsuki. That said, I'm not 100% sure yet, so there could be a very minor PeinSaku moment that you'll have to find by squinting. Thanks for your question, though! **_

_**That's it for the review responses. If you've read through to this point, I want you to pat yourself on the back and fetch a cookie, because I'm not a huge fan of taking up **_**this **_**much space in the author's notes. I mean, I even feel kind of iffy about having such a huge author's note up at the beginning of this whole thing. *shrug*  
**_

_**Thanks for being so patient!**_

_**Much love,**_

_**child_of_the_moon**_

_**XO**_


	26. Pond Monsters

_**Well, this one's kind of a shorter chapter, and it's sort of a filler, but at least it's something! :) Just thought I'd post this since I had the idea pop up a couple hours ago (it is now 11:30 and WAY past bed-time for the Jenn).**_

_**Enjoy!**_

**DISCLAIMER**_**: I don't own Naruto(:Shippuden) or any of the characters found therein.

* * *

**_

I sighed tiredly and flopped down onto my folded sleeping bag. "I'm pretty sure Leader didn't say that there were going to be _that _many Sound nin."

Kisame chuckled and added some dry branches to the fire. "Too much for you, Pinky? And here I thought you were the toughest little kunoichi around. It's not right to purposefully mislead your teammates, you know," he said in mock-seriousness. "Right, Itachi?"

Itachi cracked half a ghost of a smirk from across the small fire (I'd say I'm pretty good at finding those tiny smiles at this point, wouldn't you?) and grabbed his sleeping bag. The quick glance he threw my way told me he was smirking at the irony of Kisame's statement, and I felt myself blush a little in embarrassment. It was weird having someone who actually _knew_ what I was really up to.

After setting our sleeping bags out next to each other, Kisame said he wanted to go wash up in a pond he spotted a mile north of us. I watched him get up and grab his towel, secretly admiring the way the fire played across his visible muscles.

"You know, I heard there've been some weird sightings of some strange pond monsters in the area," I said, pretending to be concerned. "You might want to keep an eye out for them. I've heard the fish around here get rather big, blue and toothy."

He snorted. "Thanks for the warning, but I'm pretty sure I can take care of myself. _I've_ heard that these so called 'monsters' have a particular appetite for cute, pink-haired little medics, so…" he trailed off as he walked out of the clearing and into the shadows. I tossed a rock at his retreating figure and heard him snicker before he disappeared completely.

* * *

After about ten minutes of nothing but the crickets chirping and the fire crackling, I finally decided to test the boundaries of this knew, informed relationship with Itachi.

"So," I started eloquently.

He turned his head fractionally towards me, letting me know that he was listening.

I thought of a way to bring up what I wanted to say, and then decided to hell with that since I tend to be blunt and to the point anyways. "Do you think I could convince Pain to form an alliance with the Leaf?"

If Itachi weren't Itachi, he would have choked in surprise. But seeing how he _is_ Itachi, he blinked a couple times instead. "Weren't you planning on using your new medical jutsu to help your jinchuuriki friend?"

"Well, yeah, I had been," I replied. I paused, gathering my thoughts. "But, I've been thinking about how Akatsuki hasn't really attacked Konoha, you know? And if he's planning on taking the tailed beasts, why wouldn't he just attack the villages themselves to get the tailed beasts? You're all strong enough to bring down entire villages as it is, so why would he want the beasts anyways?"

Itachi nodded minutely. "You're asking the right questions, but you are also asking the wrong person. Have you considered talking to him about this?"

I shook my head. "Not really. I'm worried I'll come across as a spy."

Itachi shot me an amused look.

"Oh, stop it. You know what I mean. If he finds out that I'm a spy right off the bat, he's not going to trust me and then he wouldn't take my suggestions seriously. In fact, I'm pretty sure he'd kill me before even letting me make a suggestion or offer an explanation."

"I still believe that you should talk to him. He's not as ruthless as you seem to think."

I frowned at him. "Well, if you're such a genius, how should I go about bringing it up to him without giving away everything?"

Itachi leaned back onto his hands. "That's simple: just engage him in thoughtful conversation and bring it up in a detached manner. Don't make it sound as if you're trying to undermine him. I would ask him what his goals for the Akatsuki as an organization are, and then try to find out how you could get his goals and your goals to line up."

I thought about it for a few minutes longer. "I suppose that makes sense." I smiled, glad to finally have someone to talk to after keeping secrets for so long. "Thanks, Itachi."

"Hn," he replied, smirking just a bit more noticeably than half an hour ago.

Wait. Half an hour? "Shouldn't Kisame be back by now?" I asked.

Itachi remained silently contemplative for a few moments, then shrugged slightly. "He'll be here in a few minutes. I can feel his chakra," he answered.

Sure enough, Kisame stepped out from the trees a few minutes later, grinning and looking decidedly pleased with himself. Dropping down on his sleeping bag (which was beside mine), he nudged me with his foot. "Your turn. Might wanna be careful out there, though. I thought I felt something brush my foot. Couldn't tell what it was, of course, since it's so dark out now. But you should be fine: I scared it off."

I glared at him. "Ha, ha," I enunciated blandly. "You'll have to try harder than that to scare me away from a chance to clean up, you oversized fish-stick."

I didn't miss the amused smirk and glance that Itachi shot at Kisame before I turned and sauntered off towards the pond, but I didn't pay much attention to it's possible meaning.

* * *

I hummed to myself as I removed my clothes and stepped into the dark water, the only light coming from the half-full moon directly overhead. I was contemplating my hypothetical future discussion with Pain while I was lathering my hair with scentless shampoo when I felt it.

There was a strange current in the water all of a sudden, and it was stirring up the normally still water.

'Pond monster,' Inner stated factually. 'I'm telling you, it's a pond monster. Thank you for jinxing us earlier!'

"No way in hell there's such a thing as a pond monster," I muttered to myself, and continued lathering my hair, willing the gooseflesh I had covering every inch of my skin to disappear.

I took my mind off of the strange current (which had disappeared) by reviewing that goose bumps are created when the arrector pili muscles in the dermal layer of the skin contract, which causes the hair follicles to be pulled back, which in turn gives the gooseflesh effect.

Just as my arrector pili muscles were relaxing, I felt that damn current again. I shivered, and gave a burst of chakra to scare away any wildlife that might be swimming within a ten-foot radius of me. Satisfied with my handiwork, I smirked and continued lathering.

Again with the stupid currents! I gave off an even bigger, more substantial burst of chakra, and watched the ripple effect I created reflect the moonlight, trying to catch sight of any aquatic anomalies. None.

Sighing, I resigned myself to dunking and rinsing my hair, keeping my eyes opened in a last-ditch attempt at seeing what the hell was causing that obnoxious disturbance in the water. I sucked in a deep breath and submerged myself, shifting my blurred gaze every second in order to find the supposed 'pond monster'.

No sooner had I stood up and caught my breath when I felt something smooth brush up against my thigh.

I couldn't help it. Shinobi pride be damned, I screamed and kicked in the general direction of the pond monster. The pond monster came back and slid along my lower back, and I spun around and sent a chakra-infused fist cutting through the water as fast as possible, hitting nothing but water.

Breathing heavily, I soon discovered that this pond monster was not only a total jerk, but apparently a pervert as well. I felt something grab hold of my rear and shrieked in outrage, kicking backwards and landing my heel in the pond monster's… rock hard abs?

Before I could even put two and two together, the 'pond monster' grabbed hold of my foot and spun me around, pulling me under and towards itself. I kicked and bucked, and found myself in the arms of none other than an oversized fish-stick (more commonly among the scientific community as Kisameus Idioticus, and to everyone else, Kisame).

I had never done nude, underwater wrestling before this point, and it was an interesting experience to say the least. There was a lot of kicking and punching involved in my part, and a lot of "accidental" groping and grabbing in his. As soon as he pulled me up for air, I smacked him across the face, my own face about as red as a beet and probably glowing crimson in the moonlight. What can I say? Being all naked and flustered tends to do that to a girl.

Kisame held me against him with one arm, and rubbed his abused mandible with his unoccupied hand, smirking the entire time.

"Pond monster, my ass!" I growled.

Kisame raised his eyebrows at my choice of words, apparently finding permission to lovingly squeeze the aforementioned anatomical area once. I shrieked in indignation and pushed against his shoulders in a vain attempt at escape.

"Put me down this instant, you asshole!" I shouted angrily.

He grinned and shook his head, holding me tighter. "Nope."

I glared. "Kisame."

He turned serious. "Sakura."

"_Kisame_."

"_Sakura_."

I groaned in defeat. "Please? Put me down, Kisame," I whined. "I'm naked and really tired and I just want to go back to the campsite and sleep."

He hmm'd in response, grinning once again. "I can think of a few other things that we could do before going back to the campsite, Pinky."

"Kisame, if you continue that line of thought any further, I will personally see to it that you start thinking with your upstairs brain from now on because you _will_ be incapable of thinking with your downstairs brain, comprende?"

He laughed, and I felt the action reverberating through his torso and into mine. It felt entirely too intimate, and I started counting down the seconds until my patience imploded and I would start punching faces in.

"Seriously, Shark-face. I'm not in the mood to be attracted to you tonight, so please let me down before I castrate you. I mean it," I said, glaring venomously.

* * *

"Itachi, I swear I'm going to kill you in your sleep for not telling me he was going to be an ass," I threatened from the confines of my sleeping bag.

Kisame chuckled, and Itachi let out his usual puff of a laugh. "Now, Sakura. The only reason I didn't warn you was because I assumed that you had already learned that Kisame is an ass at all times."

"Alright, enough of you and your snide witticisms," I griped, secretly happy that Itachi had actually cracked a joke. A few moments later, I was already sick of the silence as Kisame's water clone sat up in a tree to keep watch and my real Akatsuki partners on either side of me remained silent, waiting for sleep.

"'Night guys."

"Hn."

"Night, Pinky. Don't let the pond monsters bite."

"Shut up."

* * *

_**Now for some review replies! (Oh, you anonymous reviewers…)**_

**Lara: **_**I'm so glad you're enjoying this so much. :) I'm pretty fond of Hidan myself, and Itachi was fun to write for the last chapter. I hope I've still got his character down for this one. Lol**_

**Little me: **_**Whoa, you're from Sweden? That's so cool to know that I have readers from outside of the US! I'm so happy you love this fic, and I'm glad to know that I've got the characters personalities alright. Lol It's definitely not the end, and I'm thinking the end will probably not happen for another ten or so chapters, so no worries. :) Thanks so much for your kind review! It really inflated my ego quite a bit, haha! ;)**_

**LoGiNIs4sUcKeRs: **_**(that was interesting to write, lol) I hope this chapter catered to your KisamexSakura needs. I agree: fish do need lovin' as well. ;)**_

**yogurtland: **_**OMG. I'm totally glad you love it! Lol (no I'm not picking on you, I'm just extremely tired and I need some sleep, xD) Aw, thanks for thinking I'm awesome! You're pretty awesome, yourself. I'll try to get some DeixSaku in next chapter. :) And Yogurt Land sounds like a very yummy place…**_

_**Thank you all for your reviews! I try to respond to each and every one of them, and if I don't, I sincerely apologize. I do read every single one, though. ;)**_

_**I hope you enjoyed this one! Sorry I can't blab more (yeah, like you'll miss that, lol), but I'm about to conk out right now, so I need to get my fingers to stop typing like right now okay please stop fingers like seriously you need to get away from those keys…**_

_**Much love,**_

_**child_of_the_moon**_

_**XO**_


	27. Of Hippies and World Domination

_**So… I'm not dead. **_

_**If you want a full explanation, check out my profile page. But be warned that when I say "full" explanation, I mean "freaking long-ass, full of excuses" explanation. lol  
**_

_**Sorry for the shortness and lack of fluff in this chapter, BUT I was kind of proud of it.**_

_**Although, thinking back to when this was last updated… HOLY WINDOW WASHERS, IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS?**_

_**That was my reaction when I first realized that it's been a very long time since any of you have had an update, and when I think about how long it's been since the last one, this chapter really isn't much of a prize for being so patient. My deepest and most sincere apologies. I hate how short this one is, but I feel like if I added anything more to it, it would just become even more worthless than it already is. However, I do have a good plan as to the next chapter, so don't you worry. ;)**_

_**DISCLAIMER**__**: I do not own anything. The concept is mine, but the characters belong to some sadistic man named Kishimoto who likes to mindraep everyone who reads his manga.**_

_**Enjoy~!

* * *

**_

We arrived back at the base the next morning to the comforting sounds of Hidan cussing at Kakuzu and Deidara yelling at Tobi.

Home, sweet home…

I frowned at that thought, realizing that I honestly did enjoy staying with these goofballs. And then came the inevitable doubt of my allegiance to my home country, which of course was totally unreasonable because I _love_ Konoha, and I _love_ the people that I protect on a day-to-day basis there. I grew up surrounded by the same smiling faces and the same happy atmosphere, and I strongly believed that I would never get tired of my country.

But still, I was starting to really like being with the Akatsuki.

So, deciding to march up to Pain's study and possibly get chased out after I had finished there (or killed, either or) was a suicide mission, considering how very much I enjoy my new home.

I reached the plain door and knocked nervously. And then I proceeded to reprimand myself for showing how nervous I was. In any case, I took a deep breath after I heard a deep-voiced "enter" from the other side of the door.

'Dear God in Heaven, please give us the speed to run far, far away from this mad house if this discussion ends badly,' Inner prayed for the both of us. I chuckled nervously and pushed open the only barrier between myself and inevitable death and destruction.

Pain looked up from his desk, where he had been writing with his new stationary that I had given him for Christmas. "Sakura, welcome. Have a seat?"

I nodded and gave small, jerky bow. "Thanks." I slowly made my way to the chair that was positioned in front of his large desk. He must have been expecting me ('Or someone else!' Inner reasoned), because I couldn't remember this chair having been there the last time I had come up to his office.

"So," Pain said conversationally, still writing away. "I hope your mission went well?"

I nodded once again. "Yeah, it did. I think Kisame was gonna come up with the official mission report, but all-in-all it was a success."

He bobbed his head once, showing that he was paying attention even though he was writing. I took this chance to actually look at his face for once, rather than stare at the piercings and hope he didn't notice. He had a rather handsome face past the metal sticking out all over the place; his skin tone reminded me a little of Shikamaru's. It wasn't tan, but it wasn't necessarily pale either. And it was hardly blemished: very few scars that were noticeable, and perfectly clear skin.

I jumped when he spoke next. "If you're not here to give a mission report, what is it that you want to speak to me about?" he asked, his deep voice relaxed and non-threatening.

Here goes nothing. 'Remember,' Inner whispered nervously, as if Pain could hear her. 'You're not trying to bargain with him, just gather info and maybe plant a seed of doubt.'

I scoffed inwardly. 'It's worth a try,' she said, shrugging mentally (which is a feat in and of itself, so don't ask how she does it).

I cleared my throat. "Well, I was actually… um, wondering… if I could just… talkwithyou?" I asked, squeaking the last part as he put his pen down and looked me in the eyes.

Was that a smirk? Bastard! He's making me nervous on purpose!

"Were we not talking before?" he asked, and I could tell that he must have been in a humorous mood because the Pain the guys kept telling me about is serious and cold and emotionless. The Leader does not smirk or poke fun at his subordinates! Didn't they teach that in Evil School? World Dictatorship 101, always act serious and don't give an inch of mercy to your underlings!

Or something like that, I guess. I wouldn't know, since I'm not an evil leader of an evil organization hell-bent on world domination.

But then again, his attitude at the moment might be a good sign, an omen of sorts. He might let me leave this room in one piece…

"Well, I mean, like… I don't know, have a civilized, human to human conversation, I suppose?" I offered, trying to sort out the right way to voice my motives without making myself seem suspicious and/or silly.

He blinked once, those weird, ringed eyes disappearing from view for a millisecond before reappearing and startling me with their ethereal glow once more.

'Wow, that was really poetic,' Inner said in slight awe.

I told her to shut her pie hole and let me think, preferably without interruption.

"So now I'm not human?" he asked, which was really rich coming from the guy who's always going about flaunting his "god-like" status.

I almost face-palmed, but managed to restrain myself just barely by closing my hands into fists. I counted to three, took a breath, and composed myself.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," I said, frowning petulantly.

Inner gasped. 'God, smite her now. She's being rude to him and he's going to kill us in the worst way imaginable!'

I threw a mental punch at her (again, don't ask how, old family secrets and all that).

Pain smirked again. "I understand what you meant. What did you want to speak about?" he asked again, only this time he was a bit more serious.

Here it was, the big moment. I prayed silently that he wouldn't kill me for asking what I was planning on asking. "I've been here for a while now, but… I guess what I want to ask, and don't take this the wrong way! But I want to know what exactly your goals are? For the organization, I mean. Why are we here, I suppose?" I bit my lip, and waited nervously for his reaction.

A reaction which never came. Dammit! These evil leaders _must_ have taken courses on how to perfect the "superior serious face", there is no other plausible explanation!

He leaned back in his chair, and watched my face for any changes in expression, so I made sure to keep my face open and honest about my curiosity. After all, the whole reason for me being here was curiosity: Tsunade was curious (and worried) about Akatsuki's movements (who in the whole ninja world wasn't?), and I was curious about the people in this organization.

"Peace."

I blinked. Either this unbelievably powerful and possibly crazy wanted criminal was a hippie, or it was some weird acronym for some criminally exclusive world domination plot that I should know about but more than likely don't.

Pretty Epic Advocates of Criminal Equality?

Perfectly Evil Association of Crazy Extremists?

Poodles Eat Avocados and Chunky Earlobes?

I'm having way to much fun with this, so I will digress.

At a loss for words, I frowned and summarized my confused thoughts in one word: "Uh…?"

Pain closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, as if visualizing his Extreme Master Plan of Awesome World Domination (AKA, EMPAWD, which sort of sounds like "empowered" if you say it _just_ right) folding out behind his eyelids. "My ultimate goal for this organization, and the world for that matter, is peace."

Flabbergasted, I just sat there and gaped at him. Of all the possible answers he could have given me, I would never have thought in a million years that he would want _peace_ of all things! I mean, it'd be more likely for him to want his organization to construct a mile-long field of tiger lilies for the sole purpose of skipping through it to sing horribly off-tune nursery rhymes with only the words "herp" and "derp".

Imagine it for a few seconds, because I'm serious.

And you're laughing at that! But it's so much more realistic than the leader of a criminal organization, who kidnaps the jinchuuriki for their _power_, and kills innocent people and sends his lackeys out to attack villages and terrorize the entire world, to _seek peace_!

Seriously! Come _on_!

"You think I'm not serious?" he asked, not even opening an eye to see my dumb-founded reaction.

"Um… well, considering the entire world thinks the Akatsuki is, you know, _evil_ and a bunch of _criminals_… peace seems kind of out of character, I guess. But," I said, after he started to open his eyes to stare at me, "that's actually a very welcomed, uh, outcome! You know? Like, to be honest, I don't _like_ hurting people unless I absolutely have to, because I'm a medic and all that."

Insert awkward silence. Just as I was about to say my last words and offer a final prayer, Pain spoke. "Not very many shinobi _do_ enjoy hurting others unless they have to. Which is why I want to change the way this world operates."

"So _you_ don't like hurting people?" I asked, starting to feel a little more comfortable talking to him as an equal and not a demigod.

"I do not. It's… difficult for me, even now, to take someone's life."

I was quiet for a second, debating whether to go all out with my questions or hold back. "But if you don't like it so much, then why do you have the jinchuuriki killed?"

He was silent for a minute, seemingly pulling his words together to make everything easier to say and understand. "I have discovered through the years, after observing other nations and their hierarchies of power and domination, that many people trying to share power and rule effectively without prejudices and problems with justice is impossible. Take, for instance, the Hidden Mist Village: during the years where it was commonly known as the Bloody Mist Village, it was ruled by a man who loved war. He would back up the intense, brutal training his shinobi were put through with seemingly logical reasons, such as building a better defense for the village against attacks. In reality, he enjoyed watching the young shinobi killing each other. He loved the blood, the pain, and the strength that was gained for more wars.

"This and other such instances had me thinking: what if, instead of many men trying to wield the power to rule over others, only _one_ man ruled them all? A man who held no prejudices, and a man who believed in justice and peace above anything else."

I could see the logic in that, even though the power that he was speaking of was harnessed from the tailed beasts' chakra. "And you want to do that? Rule over the entire shinobi world?" He nodded, and I paused to collect my thoughts. "But, what about when you die? Who would be able to take over after you? I mean, now I can totally see _you _making things peaceful and keeping them so. But then what?"

"Of course, throughout my reign, I would be searching for others who held the same beliefs and values as myself. After many tests and years of observation, a successor would be chosen to take my place. I was also considering a council to assist in this new government: perhaps I could make use of the Kage, depending of course upon whether they can accept their own incomplete leadership once I take over."

I imagined Gaara working under the man who nearly killed him. Scratch that: Pain _did_ kill Gaara, and it was only through the death of a beloved elder that Gaara is alive today. I didn't see it working out very well.

"And what if one of the Kage doesn't exactly… _agree_ with your, uh, rise to power?" I asked, thinking again of Gaara and then of Naruto, who just might become Hokage in the future.

Pain leaned forwards and rested his elbows on his desk, assuming a more contemplative expression.

"That would be where the council comes in. Before the council actually _becomes_ the council, I'll have the five Kage gathered in one place where I can discuss with them my plan. I want to give them a chance to see what I see, to discuss with them what I'm discussing with you. I want them to understand so we can work together to make this world better."

'Naïve much?' Inner muttered sarcastically. 'In what world does one have to live in to think that this entire plan will work out perfectly? Does he even _know_ any of the Kage?'

I agreed with her, a little. I mean, in an ideal world, this might actually work. But in the real world? Not a chance in Hell.

I watched him as he talked about the finer details of his plan, his hopes. His dream, really. And then I thought I saw a glimpse of someone I recognized in his expression and the way he talked, the way he tried to tell me all about his most important desires. I recognized a slight gleam of anticipation in the way his eyes started to narrow a little at the edges, and his lips started to form a small, excited smile as he debated with me and sketched out some new ideas.

I saw Naruto in him, albeit a more serious and cynical and world-weary Naruto.

It made me start to believe in him.

* * *

_**I wanted to thank **_**Katsueki no Kuki-sama, **_**whose wonderful reviews written in the royal first person never ceased to amuse/amaze me. After having read every chapter and originally not reviewing, Katsueki no Kuki went back and read/reviewed every single one. Those reviews kicked me in the posterior and helped me to push myself to write when I wasn't sure if I would be able to. So thank you, my dear. ;)**_

_**I also wanted to thank all of you who have been so very patiently waiting for an update. Your kind reviews and kick-ass comments are continuing to help me get over my obnoxiously persistent writer's block. For all of you out there who aren't yet adults, remember this: growing up sucks. All of the responsibility that's suddenly just appeared out of nowhere and fallen precisely on my shoulders just when I **_**didn't**_** need it has just messed me up and made creativity a rather inconsequential aspect of my life at the moment.**_

_**Which is definitely not what I intended.**_

_**Sometimes I just wish I could sit at home and paint/draw/scribble/write/read/listen to music all day and let all of my dormant creative urges out so I could focus a little more on **_**one**_** thing and not **_**a million and one**_** things. Lol**_

_**A special note to all of my anonymous reviewers, whom I was unable to respond personally to: **_**.Akatsuki-no-Konan-sama., tage selene344, NeedSomethingToRead, and Death-the-Keyblade, **_**I would like to thank each of you for your reviews, and also for reading this story. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and I thank you for sticking with me through this six-month dry spell. ;)**_

_**I shall give no promises as to when the next chapter is coming out, but I will promise that it won't be another six months before you hear from me again. I have my college graduation coming up on May 6th**__**, and then I'm flying out to Ohio to visit my boyfriend (I think that's where we're at right now in this relationship… lol), so I'm gonna be a little busy for a while. But always remember that this story (and you readers) are always on my mind, so I will definitely not quit. No worries. :)**_

_**As always, thank you so much!**_

_**Much love,**_

_**child_of_the_moon**_

_**XO**_


	28. Anniversaries and Closet Pervs

**_Hey all! So... it's been about a month. And when compared to the six months where I didn't have a thing to show you, it's really not been all that long. :) Hopefully I'll continue to keep pumping out chapters at a steady pace..._**

**_DISCLAIMER: Naruto, and all characters belonging to the series, is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Not me. Unfortunately. ;_;_**

* * *

Something weird was going on. Well, more so than usual, anyways.

For starters, Konan was eating lunch with us. The casual observer might find it odd that we were eating peacefully together to begin with. To this, I will claim responsibility, considering I sort of started the tradition.

But the weird thing was that Konan was actually cohabiting with the rest of us, which was a rare occurrence to begin with. I noticed that I wasn't the only one who kept a curious eye on her, wondering if something was up that we should be aware of. Itachi kept peeking at her out of the corner of his eyes and slightly raising one eyebrow every once in a while as she participated in some of the conversations that were going around the table. I had only heard her speak a few times in the several months that I had been living with these guys, so I was captivated by her polite speech and soft mannerisms. She reminded me slightly of Hinata… minus the stuttering and blushing whenever Naruto popped up.

Just as we were getting used to Konan sitting with us for once, another rare and strange thing happened: Pain showed up, grabbed one of the sandwiches Tobi had made that had been sitting on the counter, and sat down next to Konan.

Conversation choked to a startled and confused standstill. Pain didn't seem to notice, and Konan resumed eating demurely as if nothing had happened. After taking a bite of the corner of his sandwich, Pain looked up at Kakuzu and said, "What was that I heard about the loveseat in the living room?"

Pulling himself together, Kakuzu explained how Deidara had spilled some of his clay on the suede upholstery. Deidara immediately piped up, claiming indignantly that he had no idea his side pouches were even open and it was Tobi's fault for instigating an impromptu wrestling match over who got to sit where, causing his pouches to spill their contents.

With the sudden lift in the atmosphere, everyone else resumed normal conversation mode, and I watched curiously as Pain smirked at Konan, and Konan lowered her face to hide a shy smile.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise when I realized that Pain had smoothly diverted everyone's attention from the elephant in the room (himself and Konan) and subsequently… flirted with his blue-haired partner? There was definitely some sort of wordless communication going on, and the way she fluttered her eyelashes was so… subtle, yet telling.

Oho! I could see where this was going. I'd always wondered if there was anything more going on between them than the normal teammate relationship, and this was just a nudge towards the "they're an item" idea.

I nibbled on my sandwich, lost in thought, and watched their body language for slight clues the rest of the meal.

* * *

The rest of the week went by in a haze of casual relaxation and late summer heat, and I almost forgot about the curious relationship between the Leader and "God's Angel."

Almost.

The next weird thing that happened was Pain calling the lot of us into his office and telling us to basically get the hell out of the house.

Well, he didn't say it like that. What he actually said was this: "There's a resort over in Kawabe, which is on the next island directly east of us." Then he tossed a suspiciously jingling cloth sack on his desk. "Keep your ears open for any news about any of the remaining jinchuuriki." AKA: go on vacation and get outta my hair.

Tobi was the first to recover from the shock that seemed to come over us at our Leader's order, and he shouted jubilantly, "We're going on a vacation!" If he had been any happier, there would've been rainbows, bunnies, hearts and stars floating in the air around his head. As he did a little happy dance, we all overcame our own shock, Kakuzu grabbing the money bag and weighing it speculatively. I watched as he nodded appreciatively and walked out the door.

"We should probably follow him now," Kisame stage-whispered. At my questioning glance, he continued, "He might stash it so we only have the barest of bare minimums for an allowance."

That kicked everyone else into gear, and I paused at the doorway, looking over my shoulder at Pain as Konan peeked her head out of one of the doors behind him. "Uh," I said intelligently. At Pain's impatiently raised eye brow, I rushed ahead and asked one of the many questions I had. "How long should we, uh… stay in Kawabe?"

Pain had his hands situated at the edge of his desk, looking almost as if he wanted to push himself away from it like he was in a huge rush to get somewhere. 'Where's the fire?' Inner asked curiously.

I watched as Konan moved as though she was shifting her weight from one foot to the other, and barely managed to keep my eyebrows from raising at the explanation that was starting to form in my mind for Pain and Konan's weird behavior lately. 'No way,' Inner said, grinning. I agreed, because there _was_ no way. They didn't _act_ like a couple _ever_, so how could they be?

"You have a week. I trust that you all will act responsibly, so I will not be checking in for mission reports." I nodded, and as I turned my head back around, he said, "Be sure to utilize the next week to its fullest potential. I expect you to stay in Kawabe for the _entire_ week." I nodded again, barely holding my grin in check as I closed the door. No sooner had I taken two steps away from the door when I heard a feminine giggle and the click of a lock sliding into place.

I couldn't hide the knowing grin that occupied my face as I went downstairs and packed for the impromptu vacation.

When Tobi saw my grin as I stepped outside, he skipped up to me and grabbed my hand, swinging our arms as we walked towards the trees that surrounded our home. "So, Sakura-chan," he said conspiratorially. "What is making you smile so much? Tobi has an idea, but Tobi would like to know for sure."

I considered my answer for a moment as we all leapt into the trees, heading due east. I realized that the others were listening intently and raised my voice a little so they could hear as well, "I'm wondering if Leader and Konan are celebrating some sort of anniversary."

Deidara sped up to keep pace with me and asked, "What makes you think that, un?"

I smiled a little wider. "Well, considering the way they'd been acting kind of weird earlier this week, and the way Pain just shoved us out of the house and sent _all _of us a whole island away suggests that he and Konan _really_ were looking forward to being alone."

Kakuzu spoke up from slightly behind us, asking, "And how does that indicate an anniversary? If what you're assuming about their… relationship status… is true, could they not have just spent time together in their own rooms?"

"Yeah, but it wouldn't have felt quite right. Now that the house is empty, they're not stuck in just their rooms. They don't want us thinking they're 'an item,' so they can't cuddle and do couple-y things when we're around. Pain organized a romantic week so they could enjoy each other more openly. If it were just a normal, everyday kind of thing, he wouldn't have bothered sending us away."

The guys were quiet as they chewed over my idea, and a few moments later, Tobi spoke, reminding me that we were still holding hands. "Tobi thinks Sakura-chan's right. Pain-sama has been acting nervous for the past couple weeks, and Tobi noticed that Konan-chan was smiling more this week than normal."

I was shocked at what Hidan decided to add to our little hypothesizing session: "You can fucking _feel_ their excitement. They were like this around this time last year, too. I remember them disappearing for a week without telling anyone, but I didn't really give two shits about it. Didn't really stand out 'til just now, so Sakura's idea makes sense."

I think I must have been the only one surprised at Hidan's sudden flare of intelligence, as several heads nodded in agreement.

"Should we get an anniversary present for them?" Tobi asked.

* * *

The sight that greeted us when we finally arrived at Kawabe's main gate was definitely worth the day's worth of travel. We managed to get there at about midnight, and I was surprised to find festival lights lining the main road and some late-night food shops still open. The multicolored paper lanterns hanging outside of the hotel we came across gave the building an exciting atmosphere, and we all stepped inside the lobby (without our respective headbands and Akatsuki apparel, of course) with various levels of enthusiasm.

The receptionist looked up from a magazine, her keen brown eyes widening at the size of our group. "Can I help you?" she inquired politely, closing her magazine and opening a large schedule book.

Kakuzu looked to Itachi, nodded once and passed him the money bag as discretely as possible. Itachi inclined his own head slightly and accepted the money, walking up to the desk and resting his arms on the smooth, polished surface. "Yes, actually," he replied, capturing the girl's attention fully. I raised a brow as I watched a slight blush appear on her cheeks, and realized why Kakuzu entrusted the money to Itachi: he was wise and intelligent, but also incredibly beautiful and would easily be able to persuade the civilian receptionist. "You wouldn't happen to have any suites large enough to accommodate all of us," he asked, gesturing to the rest of us behind him. "Would you?"

"U-um…," she replied, completely awestruck (as I tend to get when Itachi lets his charms loose on me) at the sound of his voice. I hid a smirk when I heard Hidan snort derisively, and relaxed; if anyone could convince this girl to lower the price while seeming completely innocent and unassuming, it would be Itachi. Kakuzu's haggling skills were second to none, but he was too obvious and intimidating. Itachi's way of speaking and his flawless appearance (as compared to Kakuzu's crazy stitching all over his body and his not-so-normal eyes) were the key to winning this particular girl over.

And to think that these two communicated that within milliseconds _without_ talking? Genius.

With a slight tilt of his head, Itachi seemed to offer the girl a curious expression, prompting her to gather her wits and continue. "Oh! Well, let's see. I'm sure we do…" She flipped through the schedule book and ran a slim finger across the top, looking at room numbers and their vacancy status. Blinking in surprise, because it really was one _major _coincidence, she said, "W-we do, actually. I mean, we have the two largest suites vacant, and I can have Haru-san bring more beds in. Would that be acceptable?"

Itachi nodded. "That would be excellent. How much?" he asked, reaching into the money bag he held out of the woman's sight.

At this she looked us all over, judging whether or not we actually _had_ the money to spend on such opulent rooms. "Well, I'm sure¾" she began, only to cut herself off when Itachi gave up on acting innocent and unassuming and plopped the cloth satchel onto the counter.

"_I'm_ sure we will have more than enough to afford them," he said, a trace of amusement lining the words that I was sure the woman wouldn't be able to detect.

With wide eyes and flushed cheeks, she proceeded to take care of checking us in and accepting the payment, handing two sets of keys to Itachi and smiling at the rest of us. "Please enjoy your stay!" she said, playing the part of the perfect hostess once again.

* * *

When we arrived at the rooms, an older gentleman whom we assumed to be Haru-san was already hauling huge mattresses into the hallway. I rushed over to help him as he started to tumble over under the awkward weight. As we steadied it together, he looked up to give me a grateful smile, but faltered when he realized I was a girl. "Oh, miss!" he said, trying to get a better grip on the mattress and failing. "Please don't strain yourself! I've done this many times, and these are much too heavy for a young woman to handle."

I smiled at him and adjusted my grip, enjoying the way his eyes almost popped out of their sockets when managed to lift the mattress off the ground without breaking a sweat. "You may have done this many times, Haru-san," I said, backing towards the door that Deidara had rushed to open for me. "But how many hernia operations have you had because of it?"

At his shocked and slightly awed expression, I explained vaguely, "I've done a lot of weight training."

Kisame laughed, and the rest of the guys broke up into groups to help Haru-san bring the bed parts in and put everything together. After everything was set up (and after Haru-san left with a rather generous tip and a dazed expression), we all gathered in the hallway outside of the two large rooms. I stared at the two open doors, wondering whether I wanted the aqua-themed or the sea green-themed room.

"So I guess now we have to choose who sleeps in which room?" I asked, rubbing my eyes tiredly.

Tobi piped up, surprising me with his next statement: "Actually, now we have to choose who sleeps with Sakura-chan."

'Did… did _Tobi_ just make an innuendo?' Inner asked incredulously.

I jumped when he grabbed my hand and shouted, happiness and flowers and cuteness overflowing, "Tobi want's to sle¾"

Hidan's fist connected soundly with the top of Tobi's head. "Fuck no. You aren't sleeping anywhere near her. Sakura, Itachi, and Kisame can share the green room. Kakuzu, Deidara and I will keep an eye on Tobi. He's probably a fuckin' closet perv…"

I laughed as everyone nodded their heads seriously at Hidan's plan (and accusation) and Tobi slumped.

"B-but… Tobi is a _good_ boy!" he cried dejectedly.

* * *

**_So what did you think? I know this wasn't really as humorous or fluffy as it normally is, but I hope that some of you got a smile and/or giggle out of it. :) In case they were too microscopic for you to notice, there were small doses of PainxKonan and TobixSakura in there (and a VERY tiny dose of HidanxSakura, if you consider his uncharacteristic protectiveness indicative of an attraction/relationship). I'm sorry that I couldn't make it more enjoyable. :C My brain is so worn out right now. lol_**

**_To my darling anonymous/not-signed-in reviewers, I send a heartfelt 'thank you!' — _Little me, NeedSomethingToRead, _and_ Blood Moon Rising —**

**_Also, as an aside to _Blood Moon Rising,_ that creative bold of lightning you hoped for has struck me (figuratively, of course), and you will hopefully see more of the protective vibe you were asking for. ;D And if liking HidaxSaku, KisaxSaku and ItaxSaku makes one strange, then I don't wanna be normal. ;)_**

**_This chapter was inspired (in part) by _FuzzyShadowFoxx _and_ Blood Moon Rising _(whose screen name prompts one of my favorite Creedence Clearwater Revival songs to play every time I read it [Bad Moon Rising, if you were wondering.]) _THANK YOU BOTH! _:3_**

**_If you've read this far, please include the following _****_in your review_****_: "Sometimes I swing my snickersnee widdershins when I hear a borborygm."_**

**_Those are real words. I promise. You can look them up if you don't believe me. ;D_**

**_Anyways, thanks for reading!_**

**_As always,_**

**_Much love,_**

**_child_of_the_moon_**

**_XO_**


	29. Cuddle Buddies and Dress Up

_Hey all! Sorry for the super-ridiculously-late update! I'd go into details, but I know no one really wants to hear excuses and I could honestly write a novel about them. I'm serious. :I Anyways, please enjoy! I'm not 100% happy with the ending, but I figured I should update now and leave revisions for later. lol_

_DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Naruto or any characters found therein. Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi. Who needs to get on with the story. Now. :I_

* * *

When I emerged clean and warm and comfortable from the bathroom half an hour later, I stood and eyed the two beds in our suite. "Wait a minute…"

Itachi looked up at me from his place on one of the king-sized mattresses and quirked a brow questioningly. Kisame grinned at me from the other bed, folding his hands behind his head and crossing his feet in a very blasé manner.

I crossed my arms and just about 'grrr'd in irritation. "Is it just me, or did we get shafted with the beds?"

At their helpful responses, or lack thereof, my hands migrated to my hips and I adopted what I like to call the "Oh Shit" pose. Now, you may be wondering why I've dubbed this classic outward display of displeasure as such. You see, when I was little, if I did something that my mother would ultimately deem worthy of an ass-whooping, she would adopt that pose. At that time, I simply called it the "Uh Oh" pose. When I became apprentice to Tsunade, Uh Oh graduated to Oh Shit. I'm sure you can imagine why, given who my Shishou is and her penchant for violence.

I'd been with the Akatsuki long enough for them to acknowledge the meaning behind my Oh Shit pose, and so Kisame caved first. Holding up his hands in a placating gesture he said, "Hey, we had nothing to do with it. The old man brought two of the spare beds into the other room before we even got up here, so by the time we realized how many beds we had altogether it was too late to even them out."

Itachi chose this moment to open his mouth, saying, "You didn't even notice where you were putting the mattresses when you were helping Haru-san, did you?"

In all fairness, I hadn't noticed. However, a woman must preserve her dignity somehow in a situation like this, so I put on the "Oh No You Di'int" face (as every woman must when a man calls her observational skills into question) and gave Itachi the ultimate punishment…

The Silent Treatment.

Tossing my towel back into the bathroom so it landed in a heap on the floor (Itachi absolutely _detests_ it when I do this), I marched over to the bed Kisame was currently hogging and stared pointedly at him. When he didn't respond as I'd hoped, I ordered rather imperiously, "Remove your blue self from _my_ bed, Fishman."

This time, the Oh Shit pose didn't faze him, because obviously facing my legendary temper was something he found preferable to his other sleeping arrangements. He lifted a brow and stated simply, "Hell no. I'm not sleeping on the floor, and I sure as fuck ain't sleeping with _him_."

I contemplated this situation for a few moments, whereupon I came to the decision that the energy I'd have to exert in order to win the bed for myself wasn't worth the trouble. I flicked off the lamp that sat on the bedside table between the two beds (I laughed inwardly, since Itachi had been reading before I came into the room) and lifted the covers. As I climbed in, I said to Kisame, "Touch me and you die." I promptly went to sleep after that, and dreamt of fluffy little bunnies and using my two roommates as target practice.

* * *

My first thought when I awoke the next morning was, "Mmm."

My second thought was more of a jumbled mass of incoherent panicky noises when I realized with whom I was oh-so-comfortably spooning.

My third thought was spoken aloud, "I thought I made the death sentence pretty damn clear last night, Hoshigaki."

I felt his arm tense a little from where it was holding me against his warm torso (and I'm pretty sure the snore he made was fake at this point, as a sort of last-ditch self-preservation technique).

And that's when I realized precisely _how_ his arm was positioned. His upper arm was placed along my side with his elbow resting on the front of my left hip, at which point his lower arm rested snugly against my stomach, ending of course with his hand. On my boob. And I was 99.9% sure it was on purpose.

Oh, who am I kidding: it was on purpose.

Initiating Rage Response #144 in three... two... one...

WHACK-CRASH-THUD-"FUCK!"-"PERVERT!"

* * *

I sat at the restaurant table with Kisame and the rest of the guys, glaring a hole into the side of Kisame's face. I was probably overdoing it (because, hell, it was a nice way to wake up, in all honesty) but he deserved it.

Glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes, Kisame whined, "Come on, Sakura, I really didn't mean to! It just sort of happened, I swear!"

I huffed. "I'll only forgive you if you buy me a yukata for the Tanabata festival tomorrow."

"You're not seriously gonna go to that, are you?" Hidan asked incredulously, as if it was the lamest thing ever. "That shit's so overrated."

"Like hell I'm not!" I said. "I always go to the Tanabata festival. I love the yukata and the paper lanterns and the fireworks and the stargazing… Back home, Nar-" I cut myself off almost immediately. "Uh, yeah. They were fun… back then… I mean, there was never anything better to do there…"

Thankfully, our waitress delivered our breakfast just then. I gave thanks and dug in like the rice and rolled omelet were the only food I'd had in months.

Hidan stared at me with a weird look on his face as the entire group settled into an awkwardly silent breakfast.

'Nice one, Sakura,' Inner commented dryly. 'We kinda needed to seem like Konoha was a shithole and we left because we _hated_ it. Saying that you love Tanabata festivals and going into detail? Not so good! Not to mention you almost got all nostalgic about good times with Naruto, who, may I ever-so-politely remind you, is on the Akatsuki's Most Wanted list! Hellooo?'

"I remember the festivals in Konoha."

I looked up, shocked, at the sound of Itachi's voice. "What?"

He looked up from his meal and gave the tiniest of smiles. "I used to go with my brother when he was little. I enjoyed the fireworks as well."

I stared, awestruck, as Itachi's simple statement sparked conversation around our table, and my little mistake was quickly forgotten.

Apparently, Hidan used to go to festivals all the time in his village when he was little. Kakuzu only ever went to the New Years and Obon festivals (the rest weren't worth the money, in his opinion; I heartily disagreed). Kisame particularly enjoyed decorating his house with lanterns when he was little. Deidara, of course, loved any festival as long as it had fireworks, as they were an inspiration for his own "artistic masterpieces."

"Tobi loves dressing up for festivals! Sakura-chan should come with Tobi, and Tobi will find a pretty yukata for you!"

I smiled, but before I could reply, Deidara flicked at piece of his omelet at Tobi, hitting him squarely in the eye-hole. "No way in hell you're taking Sakura yukata shopping by yourself, you pervert. We all need outfits anyways if we're gonna go, yeah."

Tobi's cry of, "But Tobi's a good boy!" was drowned out by the rest of the guys debating where to go and when to head to the festival.

* * *

We eventually found a small traditional clothing shop run by an older woman named Hana. She was a sweet, but very task-centered woman, immediately taking my measurements and leading me to a rack of yukata and kimono that would fit me. The guys followed close behind us, and each started pointing out different colors or patterns that they thought would be better. As always, each had a different opinion, but I tried their choices on nonetheless.

We were all standing outside the dressing room to debate which yukata was the best after I'd tried them all on. Hana was off to the side, helping another customer with a custom order.

"But Tobi likes the orange one," Tobi whined. "The flowers complement Sakura-chan's personality!"

Hidan and Kisame tried to stifle their dubious snorts at that comment, and I caught Itachi raising a brow in a decidedly unconvinced manner. While I didn't enjoy the fact that they were picking on me, I had to agree. I mean, come on. I'm not a delicate little girly-girl. I kick ass on a regular basis and I've got the temper of an active volcano having a bad day. At least I'm honest.

"Thanks, Tobi," I said after a bit of inspection of the yukata hanging back on the rack. "But I think it kind of clashes with my hair. Plus, it makes me look more pale than I already am."

Tobi sagged a little at that, but perked right back up again with another thought. "Maybe the blue one, then?"

I frowned. "Which one? The one Deidara picked or the one Hidan picked?"

"Mine, obviously," Hidan said from his chair. "I've got the best tastes out of all of these assholes. The dark blue looked best."

This comment, of course, sparked a feud between the rest of the guys and Hidan, and I took the moment to pretend they didn't exist and look over the all of the yukata I'd hung back up.

While I agreed that the blue looked pretty good, I still wasn't sold on it. It just wasn't the right one. As the guys bickered and tossed insults about like group of children, Hana walked over and stood next to me. One grayed eyebrow raised at my companions, she merely shook her head and grabbed a yukata that must have been hiding up until this point and held it up beside my face.

"This one," she said, and I could see the years of wisdom behind those dark, assessing eyes.

I accepted the yukata and brought it into the dressing room. The guys immediately stopped arguing as soon as the lock clicked. I could hear Kakuzu ask if anyone had see what I grabbed and what the price was. I chuckled and put the outfit on, twisting this way and that to see myself in the mirror at as many angles as possible.

This was the right one. I grinned at the mirror.

"Hana-san," I called. "You're a lifesaver!"

Ten minutes later, I had bought the yukata (actually it was Kakuzu, the self-designated money-holder, who paid for it) and a paper fan to go along with it. None of the guys had seen me in it, and I made sure they only caught a brief glimpse of the material before Hana had wrapped it. I wanted it to be a surprise for the festival. Every girl likes to have guys appreciate them when they dress up, and I was already getting an idea for how I wanted to do my hair.

'Speaking of which,' Inner said contemplatively, 'Don't you usually cut it short before it has a chance to get this long?'

She was right. It had grown to my shoulders and I hadn't let it get that long since that day during the chuunin exams… I had forgotten how much I liked having it long. I replied to her with a mental shrug and continued thinking of all things festival-related. Food, lanterns, fireworks, dressing up…

"Hey, wait a second…" I muttered. I turned to face the guys before we reached the door. "Aren't you all supposed to be dressing up, too?" At their lack of response, I started to narrow my eyes.

"Hey, you know, I think I saw one I liked over here," Kisame said with forced nonchalance. The others soon followed suit, while Kakuzu grumbled about money and how he was hoping to have some left over by the end of our little vacation.

I snickered and continued thinking about the festival. With any luck, this would be the most fun I'd had with the guys since I'd 'joined' the Akatsuki.

* * *

_So... it was a little longer than the last update, I think. (I honestly can't remember, isn't that terrible?) Next chapter: The festival! And a guest re-appearance? Some had made a request to see this bear of a guy again a while back, and I think he'd enjoy a little visit. ;] Thoughts? Fire away!_

_As always,_

_Much love,_

_child_of_the_moon_

_XO_


	30. Sneaky Weasels and Big Ol' Bears

Naruto and all characters found therein (c) Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

I've never been much of a girly-girl, if I'm going to be completely honest. I've always played rough, gotten dirty, and dressed in clothes designed for functionality, not fashion. If you were to ask Ino how badly I lack fashion sense, she'd be ranting for _days_ about how much of a hopeless tomboy I am. I don't think I'd ever owned more than one kimono or yukata at a time, partially because my parents weren't exactly wealthy, and mostly because I'd never really enjoyed wearing them aside from festivals and weddings.

Enter Sasuke: beautiful, regal, and Mr. Desirable to just about every girl around my age in Konoha. I _wanted_ to be girly for him. When I took notice of him, it was like my entire existence was suddenly anchored around him. Guys had never really been anything more than playmates up until Sasuke walked into my life, and it was like I'd completely missed the "ew, cooties" stage.

So, I tried to learn from Ino the intricate art of becoming a beautiful, desirable girl. But no matter how much filched makeup from her mother she caked onto my face, we couldn't get rid of my tomboyish personality.

I sighed as I stared into the bathroom mirror at the plain, familiar face staring back at me with my father's green eyes and my mother's pink hair. Pink may be a girly color, but it'd never done me any favors. It's awful trying to find clothes that don't clash with either your eyes or your hair (I eventually gave up trying so hard, but Ino would always lecture me if I dressed in something less-than-perfect).

I had a selection of inexpensive new makeup laid out on the counter in front of me, but I couldn't bring myself to choose something and put it on. What was the point of it all? Getting all pretty and girly is something that girls do to attract guys, right?

'What the _hell_ am I doing, dolling myself up like this?' I thought, slowly getting more frustrated and confused by the minute.

I looked over at the yukata I had hanging on the shower curtain rod. Why dress up like I used to do for Sasuke?

When I was little, I'd gone to the Tanabata festival with my parents and enjoyed every minute of it. From the games to the lanterns to the food and finally to the fireworks and stargazing, it was the most exciting and magical night I experienced each year. When Team 7 was formed, the four of us would go together and enjoy the festivities until late into the evening. I knew I was only going with my teammates and not my parents because of Sasuke, mostly because I was delusional enough to think that, on such a magical night, perhaps some beautiful romance straight out of a fairy tale would come into being. The festival itself, after all, is to celebrate the rejoining of two star-crossed lovers.

And then Sasuke wasn't around to go to the festival. I still went with Naruto and Kakashi-sensei a couple times, but mostly I either went alone or with my parents. I would write on my Tanzaku every year the same thing: "To see him again." I sometimes fancied myself the mythical Orihime and Sasuke would be my very own Hikoboshi. I prayed every year the night before the festival that the following night would be the night we meet again.

A quick knock on the bathroom door shook me from my introspective musings, and I recognized the quiet presence of Itachi's chakra. I almost snorted at the slight irony he presented: if it wasn't one Uchiha on my mind, it was always the other. Well, not always… but most of the time.

Shaking my head to clear my mind, I looked over my shoulder and called, "What's up?"

"I left my hair-tie in one of the drawers," he answered. "Are you decent?"

Smoothing my hands down my dressing gown, I cleared my throat, still somewhat agitated by my thoughts from before and missing the feeling of joy I used to get from preparing to go to the festival. "Yeah, sure," I answered, opening a drawer and pawing through it to find a hair-tie for Itachi as he opened the door.

I felt his gaze on my back as I searched through the drawers, and I frowned as my search grew a little more frantic as the minutes passed and no hair-tie was showing up. Grumbling to myself, I started taking out the various brushes, combs and other random things that cluttered the drawer (wondering why there was even clutter to begin with, seeing as we had only been here a couple days), setting the various objects on the counter and accidentally knocking down a palette of eye-shadow and an eyeliner pencil, the latter of which rolled to a stop at Itachi's bare feet.

"You seem… agitated," he said softly.

I snorted before replying, "Probably because I am."

He bent down to pick up the dropped items and straightened, eyes focused on the two items in his hands. "What is troubling you?" he asked, eyes flickering to my face as he closed the door.

"It's nothing."

"Obviously it isn't 'nothing,'" he replied, "or else you wouldn't be fidgeting and tense."

I frowned. "It's… I don't even know. It's this whole festival thing. And dressing up. I used to love it, and now… Now I don't know how I feel about it."

I turned and faced the mirror, staring at my face. "I used to dress up with Ino. She and I would put on her mom's makeup and pretend Sasuke would ask one of us to marry him. After he left, I would wish every year for him to come home, for us to meet again."

Itachi was silent for a few moments until he asked, "Do you still wish to meet him again?"

I sighed. "Not after how he's hurt us," I replied, not even realizing I'd let 'us' slip until after I'd said it. "I-I mean me, how he's hurt me."

Itachi uttered a soft chuckle. "My brother is foolish. Had he been smart enough to realize what a beautiful girl he was leaving behind, he wouldn't have left at all."

Choosing to ignore whatever implications _that_ statement held, I smirked and shook my head. "He _is_ foolish, but I'm done waiting for him to magically appear at the festival. Maybe what I'm really stressing about is what I'm supposed to write on my Tanzaku?"

"I think what you're really stressing about is change, and how to adapt when things are no longer the same as they once were," he said quietly. "For now, you should focus on getting ready for the festival. Perhaps you'll figure out what to write on your Tanzaku after a night of frivolities?"

With that, Itachi left the bathroom, closing the door behind him as I continued to stare at my reflection.

"Change, huh?" I muttered. "Hm."

'Things certainly have changed since my genin years,' I thought to myself. 'But Tanabata will always be the same. Maybe tonight the festival will just be a festival, and fun will be fun.'

As I started to clear away the clutter and put things back in their places, I frowned. "I thought he needed a hair-tie…" I muttered, thinking back to when he could have possibly grabbed one without my knowledge, and finding no such opportunity. "Sneaky little weasel."

* * *

Inner nearly died from blood loss at the sight of my fellow Akatsuki dressed in kimono. I'd always had a thing for men in traditional attire, but my daydreams had never been quite this… well, _dreamy_.

Mentally shaking myself to keep from drooling, I pulled out my purple fan and fluttered it dramatically in front of my face (mostly just to hide my blush) and asked, "So, what do you guys think? Did Hana-san have good taste, or what?"

I twirled once in my flowery new midnight blue and soft purple yukata. I was really pleased with how I'd tied the light blue obi (I'd usually had help from either my mother or Ino-pig), and I loved the way my hair streamed down in tendrils from the up-do I'd put it in. It was simple, yet elegant, yet completely _me_. I wasn't pretending to be some girly thing for anyone, and I could just be a girl at a festival with my teammates with no worries about anything for once. I felt better already.

Hidan wolf-whistled, of course, and a throat was cleared here and there as varying words of appreciation were uttered between the six men standing around me in the hallway outside our rooms.

Ego satisfactorily inflated, I began walking down the hall with a smile on my face. "Come on! I'm hungry!"

* * *

Tanabata in Kawabe was almost exactly like the festival in Konoha, the only difference being it wasn't a ninja village, but a resort town. There were tons of civilians everywhere, and any fellow shinobi had their chakra masked so as to avoid detection and to blend comfortably with the crowds.

There were food stands everywhere, and specialty shops had paper kimono or purses, streamers and lanterns hanging outside their doors to usher in blessings from the gods. The first thing that hit us were the smells of all of the fried foods, and my stomach immediately started growling up a storm and generally making a nuisance of itself.

We broke off into groups, with the plan of meeting up for the fireworks at nine by the lake. Kakuzu bought me a few sticks of dango before he left with Kisame, Itachi and Hidan, and Deidara stuck around up until I stated I wanted to play games. Tobi, of course, wanted to spend time playing games with me for a while, but eventually he wanted to go torment "Deidara-sempai" some more before the fireworks began (apparently he couldn't go much more than a few hours without picking on his partner).

I didn't mind being left by myself; we all had different interests and wanted to enjoy different things at the festival. I walked around for a while until I came to a stall selling charms of different kinds. Some were for safety while traveling, some for luck, love, prosperity, creativity, et cetera.

"Well who'd have thought I'd run into a pretty little thing like you again all the way out here?" a deep voice asked from behind me.

I knew that voice…

I spun around and came face-to-chest with one of the most intimidating (yet incredibly kind) men I'd ever met. "Kuma-san!" I cried once I'd looked up, a grin stretching across my face before I could stop it.

His answering smile was all teeth, just as I remembered. "Sakura, right?" he asked. "What are you doing all the way in Wave? You're not on duty are you?"

I shook my head. "No, no! I'm here with some of the guys. Leader sent us on vacation, though he didn't phrase it quite like that."

Understanding flashed through his brown eyes. "Ah, I see. That time of year again." He winked. "Come on; let's go somewhere to talk," he said, offering his arm for me and inclining his head. "I've some information I need you to pass on."

I nodded, tucking my hand into the crook of his elbow.

* * *

_Somewhat sorry to leave it at that, but it's nearly four in the morning and I'm tired and I'm starting to have trouble typing without my fingers tripping over each other (lol)._

_I _did_ promise you guys some more Kuma a while back (quite a while back), so the next chapter will have a bit more interaction with him (though I've a feeling it will probably be the last we see him... at least for a long while). Sorry this chapter wasn't so funny or sarcastic or fluffy, but I've been in a more serious mood lately so I guess it's translated to this. At least I updated, yeah? *cowers*_

_It's been a really, really emotionally trying year for me. Real Life drama has been seriously harshin' on my creative mojo, here. But! I'm pushing through it. I will do my best, and all I ask is that you enjoy what I can offer, and be patient when I can't update. You all have been so great throughout this, and I'm so sorry I'm such a slow updater. :'c Your steadfast support has really been such an honor and a blessing for me as a writer. All my love are belong to you. ;]_

_Thank you to the anonymous reviewers! The only reason I don't like the anonymous option is because I can't reply to you all personally, but don't let that deter you! Keep reviewing!_

_As always,_

_Much love,_

_child_of_the_moon_

_XO_


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